Sunday, December 4, 2016

Schoolyard 101

    You may find it a surprise that I was bullied as a child.  This may have had something to do with me having a big mouth (yeah, I
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know.  Shocking).  For those of you who wasted a few dollars on Shag Carpet Toilet, you may recall a couple of neighborhood terrors named Zowine.  Out of all the characters in a book which is largely a case of fiction, these two were based on actual people and I use their actual names.  


    I figure I'm safe from any potential lawsuit, though.  Those mouth breathers are either dead or in jail.  

    Or killed in jail.  Whatever.  I don't care.

    Yes, those psychological scars are profound and deep.

   NOTE:  Speaking of deep psychological scars, you should check out my girlfriend in It's An Adventure.  She is also based on a real person, but I don't use her real name.  Because I don't want her to know about said psychological scars.

   My point in bringing this up?  I understand what it's like to be a wiseguy and being too slow to escape the consequences of what I thought were clever barbs.

I may have had a small weight problem.
    I also know that if you whine and complain that someone is picking on you, they will continue to pick on you.  And delight in the pain that you acknowledge is causing you.

    So I was amused to read a tweet from President-Elect Orange Julius complaining about the treatment the cast of Saturday Night Live, specifically Alec Baldwin, is causing him.  

    It's not the first time he called the skits mocking him unfunny. Mr. Trump displays what I firmly believe is a thin skin when it comes to ridicule and this is a trait which does not bode well for the future.  Because, I think this childish behavior will only continue.

I'm afraid this kind of nonsense will continue for four years.
Note to the Democratic National Committee:
DAMN YOU for giving us Hillary Clinton!

    Because, does anyone honestly think the writers at Saturday Night Live are going to hold a "Creative Planning Conference" that will go like this?

    "Hey, ya know, the President-Elect is having some serious issues concerning Alec's imitation of him."
    "Wow, I had no idea.  You think we should cut back on those?"
    "How about we just eliminate them altogether?"

    "Yeah, we really should.  No sense hurting anyone's feelings.  What say we do one of those 'Androgynous Pat' bits?"
    "Ummmmmmmmmm....probably not a good idea.  Caitlyn Jenner, transgender and all that."
    "You're probably right.  Maybe bring back Mr. Bill?"
    "Please don't tell me you forgot that Play-Doh anti-defamation suit?"

    "Oops, silly me.  Church lady?"
    "Christians."
    "Steve Martin doing King Tut?"
    "Muslims."
    "Cheeburger?"
    "Greeks."

Because she was played by Gilda Radner.
Who's...uh...dead.
Too soon?
    "Mr. Robinson's neighborhood?"
    "Blacks."

    "Roseanne Roseannadana?"
    "Dead people."
    "Gumby?"
    "Jews.  And black people."

    "Well, screw it.  Put a live feed from MSNBC on then.  Nobody watches that."

    Of course you'll never see that.  Saturday Night Live is going to continue to make fun of Donald Trump.  The best advice I could give the Orange One is to just shut the frik up about it.

     I bet he doesn't, though.

    He should just realize that SNL is in the business of making fun of people.  Mostly people in the public eye.  To whine about it or complain that they didn't make fun of Slappy and Idiot Joe as much is stupid and childish.

    Maybe they did make fun of Obama a lot.  Maybe they didn't.  I don't know and I don't care.  Jug Ears comes in for a lot of ribbing at Penwasser Place is what I do know.

"Boy, you can say that again."

    Hey, at least Alec Baldwin won't hang him by his underwear from a Stop sign.
    
    Like the Zowines.

Final observation:  the comedian in me is overjoyed that we have Trump for the next four years.  Even though we lose Biden, we've gained an orange baboon.
"Of course he lost me.
I'm hiding behind this window.  Duh."

39 comments:

  1. The sad thing is if Trump quits or gets impeached, we get Mike Pence.

    I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'd rather have a Bush in the White House again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bush was a NWO doofus (even though I voted for both Georges). Jeb suffered because of that.
      I actually supported Jim Webb for a time.

      Delete
  2. On one level, I would point out that if Obama, Clinton, et al, can do late night TV, Donald has every right to do twitter.

    On the other hand, if you are dumb enough to make yourself a target, you're gonna get it. Anyone running for political office should get this applies to them by now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right in both regards. But, Trump really needs to shut up. This is blood in the water for comics.

      Delete
  3. Even when I didn't vote for a presidential candidate because I didn't approve of their policies, I always thought previous candidates were patriotic men who wanted the best for our country. Unfortunately, I think Donald Trump only cares about himself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you're right. Check that. I know.

      Delete
  4. SNL should follow each sketch about Trump with a stern lecture from Dr Zaius telling humans to beware because their foolish mockery will be their doom. The Trump presidency is definitely the time for Dr Zaius to make his voice heard.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anything from Dr. Zaius would be classy.

      Delete
  5. Satire is always going to be picking on the elite and those in power. I like to think SNL would do the same thing to Hilary but I'm not sure I'd call them satire. Say what you want about Bush but the man took 8 solid years of abuse about his intelligence and ability to speak. He had thick skin, if nothing else.

    And sometimes it really was like he had nothing else.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People in power have been ridiculed for centuries.

      Delete
  6. You're going to get mocked, dude. Get over it.
    At least he isn't blaming Bush for the mockery.
    Yet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too bad he doesn't understand it isn't going to stop. He should just roll with it.

      Delete
  7. Just because President Elect Cheeto is sooo sensitive to being mocked I think it calls for a regular onslaught. Besides we could never make up for the damage he has done in the past or is about to do in the future. Let the good times roll!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like I said, I would never stop. I read that Baldwin would knock it off if Trump releases his taxes. Once again, I...would...never...stop.

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  8. You are just so right. Political satire serves a purpose and Orange Julius just needs to laugh it off. Oh my. It's going to be a looooonnnnng 4 years or so. Thanks Al for a good monday post. And I survived riding a school bus as a kid and being picked on as the ugly girl with glasses. Oh well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I sense a regular on "Captain Caption."

      Delete
  9. Trump doesn't have anything better to do than watch SNL and tweet because he sure as hell isn't giving any real thought to the choices for his cabinet. Ben Carson for HUD? Carson himself said he isn't qualified to be in the cabinet. I can think of a different cabinet to put them all in. And then I'll turn the key in the lock and tip-toe away . . .

    Love,
    Janie, who still won't buy your books because she didn't edit them

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know I will not be the only conservative who will be remorseless when it comes to poking fun at this guy.

      Delete
  10. He has nothing better to do than watch SNL clips of them making fun of him. I am certain he only watches things about him...it just seems to show how much he wants to work for the country. By the way, SNL and anyone else has the freedom (right now) to say what they want.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You nailed it. I wanted to keep the post short (much like me), but I was going to bring up the chilling possibility that, somehow, poking fun at the president will become illegal. Dear Lord, pray that never happens.

      Delete
  11. Orange Mofo's Notes to self:
    Things to do today:
    -Pick colored man Carson for Housing. He builded a house out of Lincoln logs. It's yuge. He's terrific. He's just terrific.
    -Send more tweets about Alec Baldwin. He's bias! Tell him Apologize! Sad. I hate that f---- oops f*k, ran out of spa--

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know I''m going to get roasted the next few years for ridiculing Orange Julius, but it's a cross I'm willing to bear.
      CHINA!!

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    2. "Al Penwasser attacks a terrific guy. Me. I'm terrific. Apologize!" -Orange Mofo

      Delete
  12. He really does need to shut the hell up. The more you talk they more they mock. I bet he tries to make it unpatriotic or some shit to make fun of a president.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wouldn't be surprised. And then we're in a very dark place.

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  13. The SNL bits are so funny, just saying and Mr Orange complaining helps spread them over the world we here them here because of his complaints so keep on complaining and SNL keep those funny bits coming.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It has to drive ratings. I know I want to see what all the fuss is about.

      Delete
  14. You'd think he would have realized that this is in the job description. All presidents get ridiculed. He's only making himself look worse by reacting to it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In his mind nobody would dare. I've seen this dangerous narcissism since the primaries.

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  15. My hubby was also bullied. And he was a big dude - 6'3"...that's why he was bullied. Sorry to hear you were too. It leaves lasting scars.

    Trump needs to learn how stop and think before he fires things off on Twitter. SNL is comedy, not the news.

    ReplyDelete
  16. One outrageous SNL stands out in my mind..... when Simone Sin u..what ever the heck her name was (also married to Andy Williams or was in Perry Como?) She had shot her lover, Spider Sabitch while he was skiing. The SNL announcers would say, "he's shot, he's down, no, he's up again, whoops he's
    down again, etc. One of the funniest. SNL has been on forever.

    Nothing to do with bullying and I'm sorry you were bullied when young. It must be forever traumatic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I laugh about it now, but yeah, it's stuck with me.
      I REMEMBER that sketch! Pretty funny!

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  17. While I agree that SNL is unfunny, especially compared to its former glory, complaining about being mocked is weak. He's an orange man with bad hair and fish lips who's awful at elaborating his thoughts. I mean, he HAS to know that he's a walking punchline.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The best thing Trump could do for SNL's ratings is to whine about the sketch. I mean...how many people do you think went to You Tube?

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  18. Well said, Al. It should be an interesting few years with the jaundiced one in charge. It's one of those unusual times where I'm glad I'm 58 rather than 18.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. More than a few "slaps to the head" moments, for sure.

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  19. I was one of the picked on kids too. I did my best to never let them know how much I hated it (and them). Of course, I had a mouth on me as well. I wonder how many beating I got that could have been avoided had I just shut up.

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    1. Add to the fact I wasn't particularly fast (I refer you to the reindeer picture above to get a clue why).

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