Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Eating With Fishes

"Hey, if you don't mind, I'm gonna head over to the Scarperelli's.
They're putting on a huge feast over there.
All the kid's gonna do is holler, anyway.
Besides, that dude with the beard is really creeping me out.
I'll bring you some lobster if you like.
No, no, it's all good.  We're Catholic now."
    I know you were all expecting reposts and reruns this holiday season.  For the most part, that's exactly what you're going to get, tough guy.  But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized I should throw up (ooh, now there's an unfortunate term) something new for 2014.  That way, next year, I'll have an even more extensive trove of leftovers from from to pick...uh...over.

NOTE:  Well, since I posted this in 2014, this is now a repost.  I did add a couple new things, though. But, that tough guy thing still goes.

    After all, aren't classic holiday specials routinely joined by new 
Not necessarily better.
KnowhutImean, Vern?
offerings which are every bit as good as they are?  Yessiree, for every Charlie Brown Christmas or Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, you have Ernest Saves Christmas.

    So, why not something new?

NOTE:  Once again, not new.  Thank you in advance for understanding.

    As you can see by this post's title, we're going to talk about something foreign.  And, since the title isn't in French, you know this won't be pornographic.  Or involve Jerry Lewis in any way-interestingly enough, there was such a thing as The Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis Christmas Show.  Yeah, makes you want to reconsider that Ernest thing, huh?
Usually followed by Dean throwing up and then passing out on Jerry.
NOTE:  There was a Jerry Lee Lewis Christmas special.  But, that had to be cancelled after he married the producer's nine-year old daughter.

  Anyway, La Vigilia Natale refers to an Italian custom that occurs on Christmas Eve.  Each year, on December 24th (that would be Christmas Eve, for those of you who just want to talk Kwanzaa), Southern Italians and  Italian-Americans gather together to maintain a vigil (i.e., vigilia) for the birth (i.e., natale) of the little baby Jesus.
Wrong Jesus
    NOTE:  Never let it be said you can't learn anything new at Penwasser Place.  You've now learned two Italian words.  Hey, you're on your own with "La" and "di."  But, I really think you can figure those out on your own.

"You should be so lucky,
Mr. Al F**kface Penwasser?"
    Since waiting around for a kid to be born can get tedious, these same folks use the occasion to look at dirty pictures of Snooki eat, primarily seafood.  Although, in a pinch, cousin Francesca....oh, I am not going there.  Penwasser Place is a family-friendly blog.  Well, not really, but there is a line.

    Accompanied by other dishes and alcohol (naturally), a variety of fish is served:  baccala (i.e., salted cod.  When I learned this was fish, my stepfather's old saying, "Something smells fishy and it ain't baccala" made sense), smelts, eels (again with the'd think these people would have learned at Thanksgiving), whitefish, squids, mussels, sardines, anchovies, clams, and lobsters (which I am convinced is an "Up yours!" to their Jewish friends because lobster isn't kosher).

    NOTE:  See related, "Ham At Easter."
"Oh, I'm sorry.  No Italians were allowed.
Bad enough we had these Indians."

    The number of courses vary from 13 (for the fat bastards) to 7 for those who are more tradition-bound.

    NOTE:  The legend has it that "7" is used because '7" is repeated something like over 700 times in the Bible (someone counted?  Talk about a boring Saturday night!) to "on the 7th day God rested" to 7 sacraments to 7 hills of Rome to "3" being the number for the Trinity added to "4" which is the number used for the Earth to give you "7."  Frankly, I think this last one is a YUGE stretch (thanks, Mr. President-Elect!).

"And the number of the counting shall be 'three.'"
"Seven, sir."
NOTE:  Not an accurate quotation.  Go with it.

    In any event, this holiday observance is also known as the "Feast of the Seven Fishes."
"It's not "Feast of Seven Sleeps With the Fishes, idiota!!
What the hell am I going to tell Snow White now!?"
    And, now you know.

    Here you thought I was going to make fun of Charlie Brown's Christmas, didn't you? 

    Okay.  Maybe a little.
Talk about your basic White Christmas
"Okay, Charlie Brown, your friend Franklin can come for Thanksgiving,
 but he has to sit on his own side of the table.
You blockhead."


  1. And suddenly Ernest Saves Christmas sounds waaaay more fun to watch. All that seafood, blah. But don't worry, there are plenty of fish in the sea to oogle.

  2. Soon we'll be able to flush another Christmas down Penwasser's toilet. Just in time!

  3. thank goodness you threw in a Donald to spice up Christmas and the post

  4. One of the more festive holiday posts I've read. I hope you're having a terrific holiday season.

  5. You always delight and amaze me.
    Merry Christmas to you and your family

  6. Thank you for making me smile and think what the hell

  7. They counted a whole lot of things in the Bible. Someone calculated when everything happened to figure out when "the world began". Not an accurate number, though.

  8. It's 2014? I've gone back in time. I don't think there's anything I can do from here to make the world a better place though. I need to go back further.

  9. I believe there's also 7 kinds of fish mishmashed together to create a McDonald's filet-o-fish mutant patty. Uh, I don't know what the point of this comment is, but to say Merry Christmas? Also, it's been a lot of fun exchanging stupid pictures on Facebook?