NOTE: Well, since I posted this in 2014, this is now a repost. I did add a couple new things, though. But, that tough guy thing still goes.
After all, aren't classic holiday specials routinely joined by new
Not necessarily better.
So, why not something new?
NOTE: Once again, not new. Thank you in advance for understanding.
As you can see by this post's title, we're going to talk about something foreign. And, since the title isn't in French, you know this won't be pornographic. Or involve Jerry Lewis in any way-interestingly enough, there was such a thing as The Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis Christmas Show. Yeah, makes you want to reconsider that Ernest thing, huh?
|Usually followed by Dean throwing up and then passing out on Jerry.|
Anyway, La Vigilia Natale refers to an Italian custom that occurs on Christmas Eve. Each year, on December 24th (that would be Christmas Eve, for those of you who just want to talk Kwanzaa), Southern Italians and Italian-Americans gather together to maintain a vigil (i.e., vigilia) for the birth (i.e., natale) of the little baby Jesus.
|"You should be so lucky,|
Mr. Al F**kface Penwasser?"
Since waiting around for a kid to be born can get tedious, these same folks use the occasion to
Accompanied by other dishes and alcohol (naturally), a variety of fish is served: baccala (i.e., salted cod. When I learned this was fish, my stepfather's old saying, "Something smells fishy and it ain't baccala" made sense), smelts, eels (again with the eels...you'd think these people would have learned at Thanksgiving), whitefish, squids, mussels, sardines, anchovies, clams, and lobsters (which I am convinced is an "Up yours!" to their Jewish friends because lobster isn't kosher).
NOTE: See related, "Ham At Easter."
|"Oh, I'm sorry. No Italians were allowed. |
Bad enough we had these Indians."
The number of courses vary from 13 (for the fat bastards) to 7 for those who are more tradition-bound.
NOTE: The legend has it that "7" is used because '7" is repeated something like over 700 times in the Bible (someone counted? Talk about a boring Saturday night!) to "on the 7th day God rested" to 7 sacraments to 7 hills of Rome to "3" being the number for the Trinity added to "4" which is the number used for the Earth to give you "7." Frankly, I think this last one is a YUGE stretch (thanks, Mr. President-Elect!).
|"And the number of the counting shall be 'three.'"|
NOTE: Not an accurate quotation. Go with it.
In any event, this holiday observance is also known as the "Feast of the Seven Fishes."
|"It's not "Feast of Seven Sleeps With the Fishes, idiota!!|
What the hell am I going to tell Snow White now!?"
Here you thought I was going to make fun of Charlie Brown's Christmas, didn't you?
Okay. Maybe a little.
|Talk about your basic White Christmas|
"Okay, Charlie Brown, your friend Franklin can come for Thanksgiving,
but he has to sit on his own side of the table.