Saturday, November 26, 2016

And Now? A Little Something About Me

    While perusing Facebook the other day (as opposed to doing something useful.  Like put on pants), I came across one of these little questionnaires we so often see.  Usually, I give things like this a pass because I generally don't want to go through all the trouble of copying, pasting, and then filling them out.  After all, I have better things to do (except for that pants thing).
    Then, I read a comment written by the friend who originally posted it, "Won't someone play along?  This looks like fun."
    Well, far be it from me to ignore a damsel in distress, so I complied.
    I hope she appreciated it.  Especially since some of my answers are legit. 

1. Are you named after someone? Yep, my father and I share the same first name.  He's not living anymore.  Luckily, we don't share that.
2. When is the last time you cried? When I cut my arm off with a spork. Oh, I thought this was 'lied.'
3. Do you like your handwriting? Can't tell. Can't read it.
4. What is your favorite lunch meat? Gorilla.
5. Do you have kids? Yes, 2.  One of each.  Both attractive.  They don't look like me.
6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Sure, especially if I lent me money.  If not, I'd smack the crap out of me.
7. Do you use sarcasm? Me? Never.
8. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes.
9. Would you bungee jump? Absolutely
10. What is your favorite kind of cereal? Nature's Broom: Raisin Bran
11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No.
12. Do you think you're mentally strong? Hahahahaha...have we met?
13. What is your favorite ice cream? The cold kind.
14. What is the first thing you notice about people? Whether they have a gun.
15. Red or pink? This sounds dirty.
16. What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? Hahahahaha...have we met?
17. What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? Pants?  Is this a trick question?
18. What was the last thing you ate? Nature's Broom. Guess where I am right now?
19. What are you listening to right now? Tinnitus.
20. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Purple because they taste like grape. Joe Biden says so.
21. Favorite smell? Coffee because it's the second best part of waking up. The best part of waking up? Waking up.
22. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? A telemarketer.
23. Favorite sport to watch? Baseball. I can take a nap in the middle innings and not miss a thing.
24. Hair color? White. This makes me sad.
25. Eye color? Blue. Both.
26. Do you wear contacts? Used to.  Now I wear bifocals.  They make everything look bigger.  That's why I linger at the urinal.
27. Favorite food to eat? As opposed to 'Favorite Food to Make Origami With'? I'm confused.
28. Scary movies or comedy? The State of the Union address. Why not have both?
29. Last movie you watched? The Conjuring 2. Boo.
30. What color shirt are you wearing? Gray. With holes.
31. Summer or Winter? Summer, because I don't have to wear a shirt in the backyard. This causes squirrel stampedes.
32. Hugs or kisses? Hershey makes both, so I'm good with either.
33. What book are you currently reading? The Patriot's History of the United States. Probably a good idea they didn't include a chapter on Trump. That book would be YUGE.
34. Who do you miss right now? Mom. And that guy who wouldn't stand still when I was shooting at him.
35. What is on your mouse pad? A mouse. Really should get a cat.
36. What is the last TV program you watched? CSI: Miami. And they say North Philly is dangerous.
37. What is the best sound? A satisfied sigh from a woman.
I have never heard that. 
38. Rolling Stones or The Beatles? Rolling Stones. At least most of them are still alive. Too soon?
39. What is the furthest you have ever traveled? Persian Gulf. As sucky as it sounds.
40. Do you have a special talent? I can raise one eyebrow. Which, when I actually read it, isn't really much of a talent. Or especially special.
41. Where were you born? Don't remember. I was too young.
42. People you expect to participate? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...aftert this?

Okay, well it's time to go make something to eat.
"Good LORD, Japing, get a move on!!!
Did you read #4????"


  1. That's not me! I may have had sex with his sister, though. You had a lot of patience to answer that many questions. You could get a job training apprentice shrinks.

  2. On #5 I thought you might say 3, one of each. On #9 I would say yes, but having new knees I think I would be better off tying the cord around my neck. Don't you?

  3. Wow, Nature's Broom must have kept you there for a while to answer that many questions. At least there is no guns to watch out for.

  4. Now Harambe's death makes sense

  5. Biden's wrong. I can tell you from personal experience that purple crayons do not taste like grape.

  6. Okay, this looks like fun! I might have to do it this week so we can compare answers. Unless I have to eat gorilla, then it's off.

  7. Interesting, just saying and I have never tasted gorilla they look too chewy and I have no back teeth. Warm ice cream sucks and yeah I have tried it, I have children ok my children are no longer children but adults but still they are mine my grandchildren are children though just thought I would throw that in there

  8. You made me laugh, especially lingering at the urinal. I do that, too. It's a man, baby!


  9. Yeah, I skip those on purpose. Requires too much brain power.

  10. Something tells me you still haven't put on pants. Not that I blame you. They're only good for when it's cold and when you have to go outside.

  11. I can't help but wonder, Al, if your answer to number 37 is because of your answer to 26.

  12. T.M.I., but thanks for sharing (and funny) Do your kids acknowledge you?

  13. Replies
    1. Only for the girl mice.
      BA DUM...BUM!
      Thank you, thank you very much. I'm here til Thursday.

  14. Thanks for divulging all your dirty secrets, Al. I feel I know you a little bit better now. (PS don't send the questionnaire to me)!