I have an announcement to make. After thoughtful, careful consideration I have decided who I'm going to endorse.
|"I hope, I hope, I hope."|
No, not for president of the United States.
Good grief, they all suck this time around. Thank goodness I won't have to make my mind up until November. Even then, I may not even know. For Pete's sake, we have to get through the rest of the challenge, my daughter needs to graduate from college, I'm taking her on a trip to Florida (she's considering moving there), there's the annual Penwasser Camping Trip this summer, and I have plenty of beer to drink (uh...those last two may be related).
|"Sure hope the little A-Hole gets off my back, though."|
What I'm talking about is who I'm going to endorse as the main object of my comedic (or at least what I consider comedic) jabs.
|Mr. Coleman could not be reached for comment.|
But, one character above all will get the lion's share of my attacks. At least until thermonuclear war. Which may happen quicker than anyone thinks. Who is that person, you may ask? Seriously, you couldn't figure that out by the title?
It's none other than the leading Republican candidate for president, Donald J. Trump.
|"Because Bush, Rubio, Christie, Carson, Paul, Fiorina, and, |
truth be told, Monica Lewinsky. They all suck, believe me."
|"You want to talk YUGE!?"|
Giving him access to nuclear weapons would be a huge (excuse me...YUGE...see how easy this is going to be?) mistake.
Unfortunately, the alternatives, Grandma and Crazy Bernie, aren't attractive, either. I will say this about Sanders, something I've said before. While he may be nuts, the Socialist from Vermont is at least honest.
That being said, Trump is to comedy what a Dunkin' Donuts on
|"There's a thought."|
Needless to say, you'll be seeing the orange baboon (thanks, Robyn for the term!) quite a bit here, most notably on Captain Caption. Of course, I'll mix things up with other targets, but 'The Donald" will be pretty prominent.
At least until the apocalypse.
|"And it's going to be the biggest apocalypse you can imagine, believe me! |
And Mexico will pay for it, that I can tell you!
Frankly, no one is better prepared to end the world than I and you know what?
People will die because I tell them to. MUSLIMS!"
|"No, no, I'm terring you. Orange guy much crazier."|