Saturday, April 16, 2016

'N' is for "Nonsense'

    As befitting a crazy old man, I have a number of pet peeves: people who drive on my lawn, dogs who bark all...frikkin'...night, refrigerated peanut butter, and politically-correct numbskulls who insist on being politically correct numbskulls. 

    I could go on and on about such nonsense.  But, one aspect of "PC Nonsense" has consistently given me fits for decades ("decades"...hence the crazy old man part).

    While I'm quite sure that I've touched on this many times in the past ("many"...hence the crazy old man part), I feel I need to revisit it.  So, this may be a kind of a repost, but it's really not because I haven't checked back to see when exactly I discussed it last.  So, don't worry.  Nothing about this is a repeat (well, except the subject matter).

"Nothing funny about chapped 'nads!
    I just want to rant about something which really chaps my "nads" ("nads"...hence the crazy old man part).

    For at least thirty-five years (and I'm sure it's been quite a bit longer than that), historians, teachers, and laypeople having been using the "BCE" and "CE" conventions when identifying historical events.  

    Apparently, they feel "Before Common Era" and "Common Era" are much more preferable-and sensitive to other cultures-than "BC-Before Christ" and "AD-Anno Domini."

 NOTE:  It is a very common (pardon the pun) misconception that "AD" means "After Death."  While "After Death" would be a nifty bookend to a "Before Christ" designation, this isn't true in the least.  It actually means "In the Year of Our Lord."
"Besides...hello?  I was alive for 33 years."
    Hey, not everyone is Christian.  I get it.  In fact, most people in the world are not Christian (just a guess.  I could Google it, but you get my point).  So sure, I could understand why a Buddhist may have a problem living in the year of "our" Lord. Especially when it wasn't his lord.

    Take a pagan.  Please.  He'd probably rather live in the the "Year of Our Sacred Tree."
"As if that would be so bad."
    Or an atheist?  Aw screw him, he don't believe in nothin'.
"Mr. Penwasser's joke about atheists
was not intended to offend anyone.
Swear to God."

    What really gets me is that this is politically-correct sleight of hand which seeks to make everyone feel good about things without changing a single thing.

    So, it's the "Common" era. Which starts around the time of Christ's birth.

NOTE:  Even though historians believe Jesus was born in B.C. 4.  Or, roughly, four years before He was born.
"Bad news?  You're gonna have to stay here for a few years.
Hope the smell doesn't get too bad."
    So, my question is, what's common about the "common" era?
"We can marry kids?"
"Hey, Penwasser says so."
 Okay, you have Christianity and Judaism (yes, yes, there were other religions too, Mr. Bigshot Roman god guy-I'm talking about the biggies), but Islam wouldn't be cutting heads off and marrying children for another six hundred years or so.

    Surprisingly, while Judaism had been around for a lot longer than
"Plus, we didn't want to start any trouble.
We're gonna have enough problems as it is."
Christianity, they didn't put up much of a stink when talking heads were discussing the calendar during the Germanic invasions.  They were just decent, easy-going people that way.

   If you wanted to make sure
"Now that that whole
calendar thing is taken care of,
can we start 'Duck, Duck, Goose'?"
everyone felt "included" because you cared, why not date things from about the year 632 A.D.?  That way, this year would be 1384 CE instead of 2016 AD.  This would be more intellectually honest, if you ask me.  Then, we'd all be common.  Even Druids would be happy.

    But, think of the calendar industry.  Oh, the humanity!  And, we'd have to go through that whole pain-in-the-ass Y2K thing again.  I don't feel like explaining that to you here.  Hmmm, come to think of it, I haven't come up with a 'Y' input yet...

"And Scientology?
What about Scientology?"
    Well, don't get all comfortable yet, because there's more!  What about religions that were established after Islam?   Like Shinto or Mormonism?  

    Okay, so maybe religion is out of the question.  What about using something more secular as a way to date things?  A long time ago (you know, before Christ), the Romans used the founding of the Eternal City as the point at which we say "go."  To those of us using the Gregorian Calendar (not explaining that either...and I already have a 'G,' so just take my word), this was in B.C. 753. 

NOTE:  Before anybody hits me with a "GOTCHA!," I realize some folks don't use this exact date.  

    To Claudius and the Gladiators, this was 0 AUD  (I forgot what 'AUD' means and don't have time to look it up.  I have to go to work soon.  Cut me some slack).

    To those of us who don't urinate on our clothes to get them clean (subject of a post from years ago), this would really be the year 2769 AUD.

    Perhaps, if that seems too huge, we could adopt the fall of the
"Hey, I hear you people piss on your clothes.
Yep, time for you to go."
Western Roman Empire as the starting point.  Even though there is a bit of a "fudge" factor, the date is generally accepted as 476 A.D.  So, get ready to party like it's 1540 AFR (for "After the Fall of Rome." Screw that "AUD" business).

    Granted, all of the above is silly.  Then again, changing the designation of things just to change things to make everyone feel good about themselves even though things really don't change is pretty silly, too.

    If we're going to be silly, I would just as soon go full-on silly. Wouldn't it be a hoot that, instead of 2016 A.D., this was the year 1 ABB?
"After Bruce's Boobs, silly."



  1. I do remember chatting on Facebook about it because I never knew BC and AD were called something else.

    1. It's always worked for me, but if you want to change it, change it. Just don't slap a different name on it just to make you feel better.

  2. Really? Common or not...I thought this was some rap guy's name. I will always say AD and BC. People need to chill and I love to mess with their minds or just make them angry by being as politically incorrect as I can be....the devil made me do it👹

    1. I love poking people in the eye. That's why I refer to myself as European American.

  3. The solution is obvious - you've got to pick the date when the first human female stopped partying with the baboons and shaved her armpits. That was approximately 197,000 years before King Solomon shaved his nutsack.

  4. Replies
    1. He'd hurl a few thunderbolts and bang a few shepherd girls. Or their goats.

  5. We could go with BF and AF - before flood and after flood. We'd be at 5000 AF right now. Of course, that would still offend...
    Bottom line - stupid! It will always be BC and AD.

    1. Exactly. Although, whenever I hear "CE" and "BCE," it will grate me.

  6. Always funny. I've never heard it referred to as "The Common Era" but I was aware of the change to BCE.

    1. Some people call it the "Christian Era." While that is totally, historically, accurate...yeah, I can see that would be a problem.

  7. BC and AD is just fine. Stupid arse whiners need to go pound sand. Hey, there was lots of that around in BC. I'll never be PC at my sea, more fun pissing them off.

    1. That's why I make a point to be UN PC. I like seeing little wisps of steam emanating from pin heads.

  8. Very funny and I like that we both used the word numbskulls in our post. I think the whole world should convert to your ABB designation and then kids these days could tell time. (crazy old man rant is excellent) (then again I'm crazy old lady so I understand - um, but without the nad part)

    1. Sometimes I even wear pants when I rant. Especially in the supermarket.

  9. I was sitting in a college class in my thirties the first time I heard CE and BCE and had trouble with it then. Since the world's calendars ARE based upon the life of Jesus, changing the name doesn't discredit that fact. What's the point?

    1. Funny. I was in college in MY 30s when my professor brought this up. When I asked, "What is 'common' about the 'Common Era?'", he was flummoxed. I think he thought I was being a troublemaker with a Christian agenda. Far from it. But, I insist on being intellectually honest. You don't like the "year of our lord" aspect? Fine. Just call it something else which is accurate. While I'm obviously joking above, there are events in history which could be used for dating things. I just abhor changing the names of things just for the sake of changing the names of things so people aren't offended.

  10. Yeah I never got the After Death people. Did they nail baby jesus to the cross in that children's bible?

    also Shinto is older than Christianity but didn't fully evolve into what it is until afterwards.

    In Japan the year depends on who is the Emepror. If we did the same for presidents I was born in the 8th year of Reagan, and we are in the 8th year of Obama. 2016 and 1988 sound much better

    1. It really is amazing how many people think that. If you want to be looked upon as a nerd, ask people in your circle what "AD" means.

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  12. This is a very interesting post. Thanks for sharing!

  13. Not a Jew, Mormon, Christrian, Muslim or Shinto or anything else. India (where I come from) has its own separate calendar. Follows both, the lunisolar Indian calendar for religious festivals, for all other purposes the Gregorian. I have no issues with either BC or BCE, cool like that.

    Very interesting post!

    Best wishes,