Saturday, April 9, 2016

'H' is for 'Horace'

    While perusing Facebook instead of, okay, writing for the A-Z Challenge, I came upon something from a site called "The LAD Bible."  I really have no idea who they are and I can't remember why I liked them in the first place.  But, occasionally, they'll post something pretty funny.  Or, in the case of what inspired a post about 'H' (I had to shift my original idea for 'H' to another letter), they'll post something interesting.

    A parenting website called BabyCentre has compiled a list of baby names which run the risk of dying out this year.

NOTE:  This is a site from the United Kingdom.  The spelling of 'Center' and bad teeth on all the babies was a dead giveway.  So, Yanks?  Take this with a grain of salt.  I'm sure 'Kanye' would be on the list in England, though.
"Yo, that may be true, dog, but I got enough problems.
 I'm broke and my father-in-law has bigger titties than my old lady."

    Some names are pretty surprising, at least from the girls' side.  Names like Angela, Carol, Maureen, and Sharon are listed along with some which are NOT so surprising.  Like Delores (which can also be spelled 'Doloris.'  Still...yeesh.).

    NOTE:  If any of you are named Dolores,  you have my sincere apology.  And sympathy.

    Most of the boys names on the list aren't nearly so shocking. You look at these and wonder, were people actually naming their sons Bertram or Nigel last year?

    In fact, I don't know anyone who's named Bertram and the only person I know named 'Nigel' is that guy on Austin Powers.
    Oops, my bad.  'Basil' wasn't on the list, though.  I have no earthly clue why.
"'Ello, 'ello, p'rhaps you were thinking of Nigel Powers, mate?"

    Yeah, that's probably it.  I knew I wasn't crazy.   

    But, one name stands out mostly because I've only heard it a couple times.  Once during the movie True Grit.  You know, the good one,
"Sure, Jeff Bridges is no me.
But, let's be honest, you're no Matt Damon."
the one with John Wayne.  

    Sure, there was a remake with Jeff Bridges.  It was good, but, come on, the original had the Duke.   But, it also had Glen Campbell.  So, there's that.

    There was a lot of action in it, to be sure.  But, I also remember that Rooster Cogburn had a son named Horace whom he described to Maddy Ross (played by the flat-chested Kim Darby).
"A clumsier child you'll never see than Horace.
By the way, I really wish we had Matt Damon."
    NOTE:  That I remember all this from a movie...made in 1969...kinda depresses me.

    The only other 'Horace' that I can recall is Horace Greeley, the noted dead newspaperman from the 19th Century.  You know, before they got a solid grip on that whole shaving thing.

"Could someone help me, please?
 My toupee appears to have fallen off my skull and into my collar."

"Besides, I won the Civil War.
That doofus doesn't even know how to use a razor."

    In addition to being editor of the New York tribune, Horace was also a New York Congressman and ran a failed presidential campaign, losing to Ulysses S. Grant who ran on the platform, "Beards Belong On Faces."

    You may have noticed I mentioned Horace in my 'C' post for the A-Z Challenge, as well as a story I wrote in 2012.  I'd post the link, but I already did on April 4th.  Besides, you probably didn't click on it then and you probably wouldn't click on it now.

    Suffice it to say, Horace Greeley made Chester Arthur look like a
"Hey, at least my sideburns
were on my face.
Where they belonged."
party animal.  But, Arthur at least became president. Of course, James Garfield had to get shot to make it happen.  So...

    Still, it seems a little unfair that 'Horace' has been identified as a name which is threatening to wither away.

    Especially since Percy wasn't on the list.

    Or Trump. 

    Incidentally, neither were 'Al' or 'Kenneth.'

Disdaining possible ridicule,
this trendsetter has ensured the "Greeley Look" remains alive.
I'm sure he's named Horace.

By the way, yes, Walmart.  This is probably not surprising.


  1. Ewwww! I would hate to neck with him. Yeah, likely the people of Walmart will keep the Horace name going strong for another decade or two.

  2. A Horace is a Horace is a Horace of course. Oh wait, that's the tune from Mr. Ed. Never mind. Funny post

    1. And anyone can talk to a Horace, of course.
      You're right, it doesn't work.

  3. I can see why some of these names were dying out.

    1. Especially Nigel. Or Basil.
      Okay, I am so confused.
      I'm going to have to find that article again.

    2. I went to school with a few of Nigels and still count 2 on my list of Facebook friends. I think Basil Fawlty put paid to that name, don't think I've ever met a real life Basil.

  4. Damn, that is some nasty neck hair. Horace the god is the only time I ever heard the name before now. But with kids being named Apple and such, it is no wonder Delores and Horace are out.

    1. And, as I learned on Seinfeld, 'Delores' rhymes with a part of female genitalia.
      And it ain't "Mulva."

  5. I'm glad neck beards died out.
    There's an ELO song with Horace in the title, but you're right, I can't think of any other Horaces.

    1. Me, too. My neck chains always got caught in the links.

  6. Go west, young man. You don't have to worry about good grooming there.

    1. Although there may have significant risk from Indian neck scalping.

  7. Are you sure he isn't a bald eagle dressed up lie a man?

  8. I've hated Horace ever since being forced to translate him from Latin into English back in high school.

  9. Horace was lovely but I let her go...

    Okay, I may need to reread this post.

  10. Since this is an H day I will say Ha! and Hilarious!

    1. Hooray!
      Yeah, that was probably cheesy.

  11. Did you say Whore Ass? No, that would be a W post. Too bad

    1. I forgot what my 'W' post is.
      There's always next year!

  12. Oh my,Horace needs a shave...around his neck, unless that's his chest hair that can't be kept under the shirt. The only True Grit is the one with John Wayne. JEff Bridges over acted especially his gravel voice which was just irritating. Now John Wayne is probably very happy that his actually first name is not popular among the boys...Marion. I wonder when Gaylord will make a comeback?