Thursday, April 7, 2016

'F' is for 'F Troop'

    I know what you're thinking,  I could have used the occasion of this letter to talk about something crude.  But, I chose not to.  Who do you think I am?  Republican candidate for president?

NOTE:  Do I really have to tell you what I could have chosen for 'F'?

"I mean, look at these hands.  They're YUGE!!
And, lemme tell ya, there's no problem anywhere else, that I can guarantee you.
Frankly, I need to wear extra large gloves, too, believe me.  

And two pairs of trousers.  Which Mexico paid for.
    No, instead I decided to talk a little about what's probably a little-known (for people younger than a certain age.  Or sophisticated folks) television show:  F Troop.  I actually thought it was pretty funny (NOTE:  I meet the age and sophistication standard).

One of the stars of F Troop was
Melody Patterson as "Wrangler Jane."
She was pretty hot.
Fifty years ago.
She died a couple years ago.
That ain't so hot.
Especially for her.
    Shown on the American Broadcasting Company from 1965-1967, F Troop was the story of an inept group of cavalrymen manning the fictitious Fort Courage after conclusion of the Civil War.  A bigger group of bumbling numbskulls you'd never see (outside of Congress, anyway).  Produced by Mel Brooks (not a big surprise),  F Troop gave us sight gags, puns, ludicrous situations, slapstick, and downright "stupid" humor on a weekly basis.

"Mel Brooks?  No shit?"
"Absolute constipation."
    And was the type of stuff which inspired Penwasser Place.  Unfortunately, it only lasted two seasons (I was somewhat surprised by that) whereas Penwasser Place is still going strong after nearly seven years.  So, suck it.  

    On the other hand, nobody is paying me to do this.  And nobody will be sending me royalty checks once I stop doing this.

    So, I guess I can suck it.

"What's all this about sucking?"

Or even Hee Haw.
Even though this is where
Rosie O'Donnell got her big break.
    Anyway...I could launch into a dreadfully long discussion of this show's salient plot points, but I won't.  After all, it wasn't exactly Masterpiece Theater.

    Rather, I'd like to concentrate on one of the show's recurrent cast of characters, the Hekawi Indians (sorry, I won't use the silly, politically-correct term, Native American.  Feel free to call me an unsophisticated white guy, if you wish).  This troop of miscreants (meaning they'd fit in great with the Clinton Campaign) provided quite a bit of the comedy.  One of my favorites was how the tribe got their name.

"Hang on.  Are you Indian?"
"No, Are you?"
"Uh uh.  I think I'm Jewish."
"Funny.  You don't look it."

Sadly, the only available Indian during the
1960s was doing litter commercials.

    Hopefully, after watching the below, you'll be better for the knowledge you've gained and can dazzle dinner guests with this little nugget.  Then again, if the topic of F Troop ever comes up at a dinner party, you may want to reconsider your dining options.



  1. Despite its Jewish cast, I never saw F-troop.

    But dang, I'm still appalled by the f*er having charged Mexico for his two pairs of pants. As if any part of him is bigger than his ego. Such an f*er!

    1. Well, you are younger, so this little gem would have escaped your scan. A stupid show, but it makes me giggle.
      As opposed to titter. Titters are for girls.
      "I Like titters on girls."
      -W.J. Clinton

  2. I knew of the show but never watched it. But I am reading your blog. Who wins?

    1. We ALL do.
      Not only do you know what a 'cloaca' is, you know how the Hekawi got their name.

  3. That may have been only a short 45 second clip but it was a hilarious bit. "Where the heck are we?" I've always enjoyed the comedy of Mel Brooks.

    1. Go on You Tube and type in "It is balloon!" Another short F Troop" clip, it will make you laugh.

  4. Saying it a mirror three times in the dark, and Bill Clinton magically appears...or so they say

    But I also hear half of congress' alumni show up too and you can't feed that many people

    1. I think that mirror thing only works if you're naked.
      And a girl.

  5. haha well at least they have a good long winded story as to how they got their name

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  6. I can't imagine getting together with people and discussing F-Troop which, sadly, I watched as a kid.

    1. What's worse? I know all the lyrics to the F Troop theme song. Yeah, I never got out much as a kid.

  7. I grew up watching reruns. It is actually still shown in reruns.

  8. My kid brother, who is also over 60, and I were also big fans of Gilligan's Island, The Munsters, Rocky and Bullwinkle, My Mother the Car (remember THAT one?), Mr. Ed, My Favorite Martian, and others. Totally lame and totally hilarious in a completely juvenile and unrealistic way. If I hadn't watched all that I might have grown up to be a Rocket Surgeon or something.

    1. Of course I do. Mom was a 1928 (I could be getting the year wrong) Porter.

  9. Agorn was the best! And remember the F-Troop/Gilligan mashup, Dusty's trail?

  10. This is a classic of 60s television!! Always watched this, Gilligan, My Favorite Martian. Memories, light the corners of my...oh, nevermind. You get it.

    Cherdo on the Flipside
    "Favorite Characters, Favorite Lines" on the A-to-Z Challenge 2016

  11. I have never seen this classic but always wanted to. I know Ken Berry is still kickin but I wonder if Larry Storch is...of too the web I go.