I know what you're thinking, I could have used the occasion of this letter to talk about something crude. But, I chose not to. Who do you think I am? Republican candidate for president?
NOTE: Do I really have to tell you what I could have chosen for 'F'?
|"I mean, look at these hands. They're YUGE!! |
And, lemme tell ya, there's no problem anywhere else, that I can guarantee you.
Frankly, I need to wear extra large gloves, too, believe me.
And two pairs of trousers. Which Mexico paid for.
No, instead I decided to talk a little about what's probably a little-known (for people younger than a certain age. Or sophisticated folks) television show: F Troop. I actually thought it was pretty funny (NOTE: I meet the age and sophistication standard).
|One of the stars of F Troop was |
Melody Patterson as "Wrangler Jane."
She was pretty hot.
Fifty years ago.
She died a couple years ago.
That ain't so hot.
Especially for her.
Shown on the American Broadcasting Company from 1965-1967, F Troop was the story of an inept group of cavalrymen manning the fictitious Fort Courage after conclusion of the Civil War. A bigger group of bumbling numbskulls you'd never see (outside of Congress, anyway). Produced by Mel Brooks (not a big surprise), F Troop gave us sight gags, puns, ludicrous situations, slapstick, and downright "stupid" humor on a weekly basis.
|"Mel Brooks? No shit?"|
And was the type of stuff which inspired Penwasser Place. Unfortunately, it only lasted two seasons (I was somewhat surprised by that) whereas Penwasser Place is still going strong after nearly seven years. So, suck it.
On the other hand, nobody is paying me to do this. And nobody will be sending me royalty checks once I stop doing this.
|Or even Hee Haw. |
Even though this is where
Rosie O'Donnell got her big break.
Anyway...I could launch into a dreadfully long discussion of this show's salient plot points, but I won't. After all, it wasn't exactly Masterpiece Theater.
Rather, I'd like to concentrate on one of the show's recurrent cast of characters, the Hekawi Indians (sorry, I won't use the silly, politically-correct term, Native American. Feel free to call me an unsophisticated white guy, if you wish). This troop of miscreants (meaning they'd fit in great with the Clinton Campaign) provided quite a bit of the comedy. One of my favorites was how the tribe got their name.
|"Hang on. Are you Indian?"|
"No, Are you?"
"Uh uh. I think I'm Jewish."
"Funny. You don't look it."
|Sadly, the only available Indian during the |
1960s was doing litter commercials.
Hopefully, after watching the below, you'll be better for the knowledge you've gained and can dazzle dinner guests with this little nugget. Then again, if the topic of F Troop ever comes up at a dinner party, you may want to reconsider your dining options.