Saturday, April 2, 2016

'B' is for 'Blue Ball'





WARNING:  The following post was derived after a cursory glance at Wikipedia.  What this means is that I may have exaggerated some things, may have gotten some things wrong, and may have twisted other things for comedic effect.  Because "Wikipedia" and because "cursory."  But, seriously, who uses the A-Z Challenge as a study guide?

"Whaddya mean MAY!!??"

This is the actual picture I sent to him,
proving I wasn't just yanking his chain.
Ooh, there's an unfortunate term.
    In a Facebook string of comments a couple weeks ago, I made a snarky comment in response to a post (snarky is what I do...who expects a scholarly discussion from me?).  My comment included the term, "Blue Ball, Pennsylvania."  I don't remember what it was in response to, but I'm sure it was hilarious.

    One of my friends/followers (not necessarily the same thing) mildly scolded (very mildly) me, stating that I was inaccurate.  The town in Pennsylvania to which I alluded was actually "Blue Bell."

    I responded with "au contraire" (because, frankly, isn't using French tres classy and shit?).  While there is a Blue Bell (near Philadelphia), there is also a Blue Ball, Pennsylvania, as well (in fact, there's two, but I'll get to that in a second).  I explained that the reason I know this is that I have been making fun of the name since elementary school (and that is a long time ago).

"Ja, we were the shit."
  Blue Ball is a small town in Lancaster County about two hours and two hundred years west of Philly.  It was founded back when the Amish were cutting edge by...uh...somebody and was originally called Earl Town (meaning it may have been founded by someone named Earl or by someone who was an earl.  Who the frik knows?  Or cares?).



Those madcap Amish
took all the fun names.
    Undoubtedly hoping to capitalize on the burgeoning moose pelt trade (which never really took off in Pennsylvania.  Or anywhere), a man named John  Wallace built an inn near the intersection of two Indian trails.  He hung a blue ball outside the inn, thus giving rise to the term, "Sign of the Blue Ball."  Because it was the sign...for the...Blue Ball Hotel.  Thanks for playing along! 

    In 1833, Earl Town became officially known as Blue Ball.  This was apparently because Earl stopped paying the mortgage and was way before the advent of the term "blue balls."

    Interestingly, Wikipedia devoted an entire paragraph to the scatological connotation of the name, saying that it is associated with "testicular constriction brought on by frustrated sexual tension."
  
"TESTICULAR CONSTRICTION!!??
 GREAT GOOGLI MOOGLI!!!!"

    Well, that explains my adolescence.

    Since I promised, there's another "Blue Ball" and is the nickname for West Decatur, Pennsylvania.  A small town (which is pretty much everywhere in central PA) in Clearfield County, it's named after blue deposits of clay which can be found in the local area.


 
New York, Chicago, Detroit, West Decatur.
Yep, they're pretty badass.

   And the hordes of teenage boys who are running about, grasping their crotch. 

31 comments:

  1. When I think Blue Ball, I think of a blue glass jar I have...yes, I'm that weird.

    Good luck with the A-to-Z. Al my pal!

    Cherdo
    Cherdo on the Flipside
    "Favorite Characters, Favorite Lines" on the A-to-Z Challenge 2016

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Weird. I like weird. I am weird. You may have noticed.

      Delete
  2. Only you could do a post on Blue Balls and keep it relatively clean. I doff my hat to you.

    And no, it's 5:42 AM and I'm not actually wearing my hat. Or pants, for that matter.

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    Replies
    1. Pants are overrated. Except at work, though.

      Delete
  3. and now I learned something new about PA - from YOU of all people. And there's a sign to prove it. Dang Al - getting scholarly here. Good job

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks!
      I guess I'm more than a pretty face.
      Yeah, that pretty face thing's a lie.

      Delete
  4. They did take all the good names.
    Do you still snicker when saying that name?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course. Not as much as when I go to Intercourse, though.
      Hee...hee...hee...Intercourse.

      Delete
  5. Blue balls sure get around. It's good to have two I guess, one leaves things a bit lopsided.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tell me about it. I remember when I...well, I've said too much.

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  6. Having grown up (allegedly)south of Philadelphia and with a step mother from Lancaster I was well aware of Blue Ball and Intercourse from about puberty on. To this day I STILL chuckle about it. I'll never grow up.

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  7. Two blue balls are better than one, although twice as painful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With only one, you'll walk lop-sided. So, yeah, good point.

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  8. Could be worse, you could live in Hell, Michigan

    Or you could live in the hell that is Michigan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that's what the locals call Detroit.

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  9. I am sure that Earl cares or Earl's descendants care. That is who the frick cares.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I've had blue balls for about 6 months now!!!
    And I've been now where near Pennsylvania!

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  11. Geez Al, it doesn't get any bluer, um, better - right. I have a blue ball paperweight ... can I play?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As long as you don't launch that thing at someone's crotch.

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  12. Previously known as PigeonTown. seriously

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I may have to research that one....
      Darn. Already have a 'P' post.

      Delete
  13. Uh oh. Blue BELL was formerly PigeonTown, not Blue BALL

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  14. Haha, loved this! I'm so glad I don't live in a town I couldn't say with a straight face lol
    Debbie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Better than living in a place called "Bonerville" I guess,

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    2. So, where's your blog? I hit the link and it looks like you haven't written in a few months. Is this true?

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  15. I was actually waiting to see if you had posted some blue rubber balls. No matter how I write this my hands should be washed in soap...wait, they already are.

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    Replies
    1. That actually would have been pretty funny.

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