Friday, April 1, 2016

'A' Is For 'Aachen'

LET'S ROLL!



    When trying to come up with a good 'A' entry for the A-Z Challenge, I thought it might be instructive to consult the dictionary.  Even though I knew that 'aardvark' is the first word, I figured it couldn't hurt to look.

    Well, surprise, surprise, it wasn't.  

    When I consulted The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, I saw that the critter which closely resembles the 'Anteater' (another 'A' word!) is not the first entry.

NOTE:  Incidentally, I was able to keep that dictionary after Mrs. Penwasser #1 and I divorced.
That, and this cooler.
Who says I don't play hardball?


"No, it's totally a thing.
Hey, can you check if my mom
is done with those Hot Pockets?"
    Oh, sure, it's very close, but it's preceded by a bunch of entries for 'a' (which, I guess makes sense) and even a couple abbreviations such as AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), AAA (American Automobile Association), and AAAS (American Association for the Advancement of Science).  Although, I think my dictionary was putting me on with that last one.

    Just for the heck of it, I looked at another dictionary I have (I am that big a nerd), Webster's Pocket Dictionary of the English Language.  While 'aardvark' is a lot closer, it only comes in second after 'aah' ('Exclamation of Joy').
    
"SPIDER!  AAH!!!!"
-Joy
NOTE: This may not be accurate

    So, what word did I come up with?  Did you not pay attention to this post's title?  The first real word entry I found was 'Aachen.'


On the way to France.
 Through Belgium.
I'm sure the German Army was able
to find a nice, clean gas station there.

Present day Aachen.
Churches sold separately
    Okay, technically, 'Aachen' is a proper noun and not a standard kind of word like 'aardvark.'  Sue me, Aardvark Anti-defamation League. 
"On it."

    Aachen is a town in Western Germany which also goes by the French, Aix-la-Chapelle.  This makes me suspect that the French and Germans have fought over it quite a bit in their history.  Its population, as of 2012, was 240,086 people and 1,500 churches.  It's near France (naturally), Belgium, the Netherlands, and nowhere near Ecuador.

 
"Wait...what?"
  Founded in the Iron Age (just after the Bronze Age and wayyy before the Tupperware Age), by Celtics who insisted they knew nothing about basketball, Aachen was later annexed by the Romans (then again, who wasn't back then?  The Romans were like ancient Germans).




 
"Yeah, hi, is this
the Bubonic Inn Express?
Do you have free HBO?"
  After the Romans skedaddled after the Germans started acting like Germans, Aachen became the center of the emerging Carolingian Empire as started by Pepin the Short (not to be confused with Pippin the Choreographer).  But, it is most associated with Carolus Magnus, or Charlemagne ("Le Chuck," to his friends).


    Charlemagne, King of the Franks (wait, are they German or are
Salvio-King of the Franks and Beans
they French?  Screw it, I didn't feel like researching), brought a brief ray of light to a Europe which was descending into the Dark Ages. Buried in Aachen after he died (which I would think makes sense) in 814 AD ('AD,' tough guy.  Not that goofy, politically-correct 'CE' nonsense), Charlemagne's empire encompassed much of Western Europe and helped Christianity survive.



NOTE:  Charlemagne and buildings not drawn to scale
    After his death, Aachen retreated into a sleepy little existence where nothing much every happened.  

    Or maybe it did, but I didn't feel like looking it up.

    Aachen-Home of Celtic Stuff, Center of Charlemagne's Empire, All I Got

    FULL DISCLOSURE:  No aardvarks were harmed in the writing of this post.
"Or anteaters."

33 comments:

  1. Phew! You're headed out of the gate and on a roll.

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    1. Frankly, I'm relieved. Now I can sit back and read other blogs.

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  2. Started already! The early goose flaps at the sleepy goat. I used to think Aachen was an industrial city in the Ruhr, but now you've put doubts in my mind. I still have no plans to visit though.

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    1. Heads up! I give you credit for my 'L' post!

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  3. You still got it! He he he.

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    1. That's why I'm under a doctor's care.

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    2. Wondering if C for Cloaca had anything to do with it.

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    3. Wondering if C for Cloaca had anything to do with it.

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  4. I think those Celtics were lying...

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    1. True. I always wondered why basketballs were in their tombs.

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  5. Great start for A to Z.

    I think Charlemagne really was that big. This was before photoshop.

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    1. No wonder he could never use the rest room indoors.

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  6. That is a lot of churches. So no celtics skipped town to Boston?

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    1. They went for the wicked pissah chowdah.

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  7. Aachen sounds like you need to clear your throat. Excellent post and I did see a dead armadillo by the side of the road today - did it read your post? Jealous of aardvarks and anteaters.

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    1. Yeah, those punk armadillos didn't make the cut.
      Funny thing, a lot of my posts actually have real facts. Once you get by the nonsense.
      But, clearing throat? Yeah, a lot like that.

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  8. Aaaand here I thought Al would be up front and centre - well, damn me for getting it aaaall wrong.
    Being a fan of aaaall things Kraut, I like little sleepy towns - (read creepy, spooky) because you never know what's hiding under the wood shed. eekkk.

    Okay, you done good Mr. Bones with this first entry... looking forward to B - bloody rights I aaaam.

    Cheers, Jenny
    Pearson Report
    On Twitter

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    1. Awwwwwwwwww, shoulda gone with Bones.
      Nuts.

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  9. Yes, but how many aardvarks were annoyed by this post?

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    1. They HAVE been sending letters and some nasty tweets.
      Of course, those could be from Trump.

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  10. Is West Germany a country again? I thought it got back together with East Germany. You know, "Tear down this wall."
    I have never heard of the town. Looks like a neat place to explore.

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    1. No, Germany is all back together again.
      Of course, this scares the hell out of the neighbors.

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  11. If Aardvark isn't the first word in the English language is anything that I know really true? That's also a lot of churches. I now wonder what the largest ratio of people to churches is. That may be a good contender.

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    1. I just don't know who to trust anymore.

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  12. Aachen is a very big time venue for international horse events. I always wondered about the Celtics. I mean they really don't LOOK Irish, but who's to say.

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  13. Fun fact: I lived less than two hours from there once upon a time.

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  14. Damn, I had a great comment, but I got distracted by Mork and Mindy. Actually, I was blanking. I would like to visit Aachen, though. Big Charlemagne fan here.

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  15. Wow, way to long for me in trying to visit as many blogs as possible during the #Challenge. Loved the dictionary and cooler "fun." If I could, I would come and sit a spell with you on the curb, but I am taking people to see 26 hotels and inns during April. If you have time, come along.

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  16. Yup, love Aachen although have never been there but have read much about it. It's been in a tug of war between Germany and Framce forever. Gotta love the main dude that the Germans like to call Karl Der Grosse which is what he looks like in that one picture

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  17. Charlemagne and buildings not drawn to scale. I spit coffee on that one. LMAO

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  18. The Tupperware age! Nice one.

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