Tuesday, February 16, 2016

I'm a WHAT!?

    In what I'm sure is no surprise to those who are convinced I have significant mental issues, I have two Facebook accounts. 
"I think that makes him two-faced."
    Obviously (?) I have one as 'Al Penwasser.'  I also have one starring my alter-ego (actually, I'm his alter ego).  
He's a hottie, too.
   
     If you're on Blogger, you may know this.  Quite a few of you do.  

    The differences between the two (however slight) is that the 'Al Penwasser' FB account is a little edgier, a little more serious (like I said, though...slight).  The account under my real name is usually just random silliness.  Usually.  In fact, a case could be made that it's more like Penwasser Place.

"Bob Dole usually likes those.
Especially when he talks about Bob Dole taking boner pills.  

Because...Bob Dole."
You know.  Like this.
    I try not to initiate serious posts.  Sometimes I will.  Most times I don't.  But, I will comment on someone else's posts, especially if what they have to say is factually wrong or hateful (by the way, I love skewering haters).  Many times, I employ my "Snark Cannon" against "Intolerance Bombs."

    Because...I am an unapologetic smart ass.


"OMIGOD! OMIGOD! OMIGOD!
He said 'ass'!"
    Anyway, I commented on a friend's post this weekend.  I'm not going to recount the entire discussion because that's Facebook, not Blogger.  Not only do I wish to avoid those kind of things here, but I don't feel like typing it.  My two fingers can only do so much.


"BUT, I'VE GOT ONE FINGER WHICH CAN DO A WHOLE LOT!!"
    Robyn, you know which comment string I'm talking about.

    I felt my comment was reasonable.  Apparently, though, it lacked appropriate venom.  Therefore, I was accused of being a liberal.


I have my suspicions who this person supported.
    Yeah, huh, how about that?

    There is nothing wrong with being a liberal.  Liberals believe in the inherent goodness of man and see government as the obvious answer to effect change.  I believe in the inherent "A-Holeness" of man (NOTE: Not a real word.  Although, it should be) and that government should butt the eff out of my life.  And I never stop calling him the "POSUS."
  
"Boy, you can say that again."

    So, we're at opposite ends of the spectrum.  We think the other side is wrong.  But, I don't think one side or the other holds all the answers.  Friends don't think friends are morons.


Except Doug.
I think we can all agree that Doug is a dumbass.
    I just believe in discussion and a-what I hope-a reasonable agreement on how to best live our lives.  If that makes me a liberal, well, can't help that.  I just cannot abide by venomous zealotry from either side.

    Maybe I'm kind of a conservative liberal.  That doesn't mean I'm playing for the other team, though.
"Eff."
    Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to have an argument with myself on Facebook.

40 comments:

  1. Oh boy...someone on your Facebook page must not have had their creamsicle that morning. How sad when people can't just chill....and have a creamsicle (take the creamsicle any which way you wish, I know which way Mr. Simmons will). By the way Bob Dole looks a little to close like the Lon Chaney's Phantom of the Opera...scary:)

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    1. The hate on Facebook is truly appalling.
      And Bob Dole does.
      Because...Bob Dole.

      Delete
  2. I knew you weren't a liberal after you once said you were a conservative. I took your word for it rather than assuming you were a sneaky baboon trying to hide your true political leanings. Did you know that 'Dole' is similar to Persian word for 'penis'? It caused a lot of embarrassment on Iranian TV News when he was running for president.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Now, THAT'S funny. Sounds similar to when Chevy was trying to sell the "Nova" to Spanish-speaking countries.
      "No Va" meaning "No Go." Or some other such thing.
      D'oh!

      Delete
  3. Maybe you can move to Australia where the Liberals are the Conservatives, literally.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd like to move to Australia because...Australia.
      Incidentally, you're in the middle of the Hate Storm in South Carolina right now, huh?

      Delete
  4. People get their balls in an uproar over the slightest things these days. Keep on being a smart ass, flipping the bird and posting pics of Richard Simmons 'cause that's why we love ya!

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    Replies
    1. The funny thing was...I thought my comment would tick off those on the Left. But, I ticked off a lady on the Right. Ay, yi, yi. If I'm getting everybody hacked off, am I doing my job right?
      And pictures of Richard Simmons? Always.

      Delete
  5. You are AL - and that's a label in its own right (or left). I'm so confused

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    1. If a certain person wins the nomination, I plan on writing in Al Penwasser.
      Hey, can't hurt.

      Delete
    2. Let me know and Al will get at least two votes!

      Delete
    3. I plan on starting the "Don't Be an A-Hole" party.

      Delete
  6. lol Facebook is where all the Internet tough guys seem to be hiding these days. Conversation is the best way, but oh no, one side is so great, the other is so bad. Pffft both are useless as hell because both are too busy being like said idiots and just bashing the other.

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    1. Absolutely, 100% right.
      I have a rule of thumb, if someone consistently posts hate and personal attacks (I'll give someone a "knucklehead" mulligan for one time), I will unfriend them.
      Unless they attack a family member. Then, boom, automatically gone.

      Delete
  7. If you go by the dictionary definition that says tolerant, I am liberal and if you go by the dictionary definition of avoiding showiness, I am conservative. I detest either word politically because it makes it seems so extreme and that that is all to a person.
    I have declared myself a political meme free zone. Even if it is funny. I got crap over the Trump's hair being a guinea pig and started something over another one that happened to mention Republican. Neither one seemed political to me. Just funny.
    Speaking of funny, did you see Hillary barking like a dog during a rally?

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    Replies
    1. I did. Geez a lou, both parties are clown shows.

      Delete
  8. I've never admitted to being a liberal but I suppose it isn't much of a surprise to anyone.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ahhhh facebook... I"m away from there for a season, but your replies always make my laugh, sometimes a little edgy and I wonder what some of my friends will think, but love it regardless.

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  10. Kinda Like when I told Brittany Pounders that there was nothing wrong with being moderate and trying to work with people and she called me "roadkill." Not only do you have to believe approximately as I do, but now it's EXACTLY as I do.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm a liberal who is willing to listen to all sides unless people make up crazy stories about serial killers who make sounds like a baby crying to get women to come outside and be abducted and then they put the story in an email and send it to everyone they know and those people send it to everyone they know and then Janie Junebug gets it and says, This is absurd. It's on snopes.

    As for Bob Dole, I met him twice. I'm from Kansas. He visited my elementary school when I was in fifth grade. Many years later, we were in attendance at a party where he was the guest of honor. When I told him I had met him before and when, without skipping a beat he said, That must have been about fourteen years ago. I said, You're absolutely right.

    It was about thirty years, but he was kind, and he flattered me. Then he pointed out my daughter and said, You must be the mother of that pretty little girl.

    I acknowledged her existence. He went from table to table to talk to everyone. Then he got a cup of warm cider and came to sit with US. Out of all the important, wealthy people who were there, he wanted to chat with his fellow Kansans.

    Say what you will about Bob Dole, but I'll never forget his kindness to us.

    Love,
    Liberal Janie Junebug

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a very nice story! Thanks for the humanizing touch!

      Delete
  12. I'm pretty sure no one gives a flipperoo what I believe but there is an endless line of people who want to be offended. I try not to invite them to the party (also offensive).

    I try to laugh daily and keep from hurting others with impunity. Occasionally, I remember that I am the adult in the room (kid loyalty...sue me).

    But I never argue online. I'll delete all traces of hateful comments, even if I agree. Life is too short for that mess.

    Still an AL fan. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I care. You helped make me a better person. Or at least who is more aware of who else is in the room.

      Delete
  13. I'm pretty sure no one gives a flipperoo what I believe but there is an endless line of people who want to be offended. I try not to invite them to the party (also offensive).

    I try to laugh daily and keep from hurting others with impunity. Occasionally, I remember that I am the adult in the room (kid loyalty...sue me).

    But I never argue online. I'll delete all traces of hateful comments, even if I agree. Life is too short for that mess.

    Still an AL fan. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hate hateful comments. Ooh, am I contradicting myself?
      I hate that.
      D'oh!!

      Delete
  14. I love you, Al and Ken. That's all that matters. A conservative liberal is a good label too. Having lived in Oakland, and gone to UC Berkely, I still havent gotten over my shock. I missed the memo that started circulating a decade (or so) ago: Liberals are terrible. If someone says or does anything that upsets you, and you're a dumbass hater, that person is a liberal. The hate on facebook is more than I can take sometimes. Thank goodness for friends like you.

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    Replies
    1. It's bad out there, as you know.
      We need more pictures of chimps smoking cigars.

      Delete
  15. I believe that are enough dumb-asses on both sides of the aisle to keep us screwed up for a long time.

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  16. I don't like labels. Why can't we all be just a bunch of dumb a-holes who argue?

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I don't like being pigeon-holed.
      And not just because pigeons are so messy.

      Delete
  17. I'm just glad I've never said anything to anyone that might upset them. Whew! You are a wild one Mr. Penwasser.

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    1. I probably tick off both persuasions. For instance, I'm probably off Bob Dole's Christmas card list. And I can forget the Ramadan ham from Barack and Michelle.

      Delete
  18. To really get your side of the story heard by those damn "other guys", have you considered arming yourself to the teeth and overtaking a national wildlife refuge visitor center?

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  19. Either way, I think our country is headed for trouble. Our choices ain't the best with either party at this point.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sorry to say, I believe you're right.

      Delete