Sunday, November 8, 2015

Without Candy I Wouldn't Know How I Felt



"I normally spell it with an 'e!'  It's not fair!  IT'S NOT FAIR!!"

"But, chocolate makes me break out!
And there's still no pictures in 50 Shades of Grey!"


"And it goes right to my chins!  Plus, it's frikkin' cold out here!"

"I can't put my finger on it, but Stedman doesn't satisfy me.
Seriously, I can't put my finger on it."
"I never want to see them in school lunches ever again, do you hear me?
Butter Rum lifesavers, maybe.  Nobody eats those anyway!"

"Some people pronounce it CAREamel and WE pronounce it  CARmel!"
"When it explodes, the nuts don't do any damage!" 
"Plus, five or six of them and they go right to my hips.  Amirite, ladies?"
"The only candy they give us are those crappy Chuckles!!"
"Idiots.  Everyone knows that horses 'whinny.'  They don't 'whiny.'"
On second thought, I don't need a candy bar to tell me how I feel.
I'll just have Mounds.
"Hey!  Somebody say 'mounds?'"
"I like Almond Joy better.  It has nuts."

34 comments:

  1. Hey, I recognise some of these people! Do I get a bar of chocolate? Oprah has got to be lying when she says she can't put her finger on it, right? I mean she must have been practising for decades.

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  2. lol isn't it good how candy can bring everyone together? Even in cold weather

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd even share candy with Hitler.
      Well, that's not exactly true.
      Okay, maybe Chuckles.
      But, I'd only let him eat the licorice ones.
      I hate licorice.

      Delete
  3. Somehow, I knew the "mounds" thing was coming...

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    Replies
    1. I have a junior high school mentality that way.

      Delete
  4. It's pretty sad when candy starts to insult us

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    Replies
    1. It's only a matter of time before Snickers starts putting "Asshole" on their bars.

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    2. Which, I suppose, is better than putting asshole IN their bars.

      Delete
  5. Now I know why I like Hot Tamales best...

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  6. the whole post made me Snicker

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    Replies
    1. Well, that's just nuts!
      And caramel.
      And chocolate.
      Hmmm....chocolate.

      Delete
  7. Maybe Steadman needs to eat Mounds? Looks like Michele is sending her hubby to Mars and whatever happened to the Reggie Bar?

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    Replies
    1. I mention the Reggie! bar in my book.
      How's THAT for a tease?

      Delete
  8. Now I want chocolate................damn you............

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  9. I'll just take a 100,000 grand. No really, those things are delicious!

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    Replies
    1. I also like those and was thinking of trying to include a $100,000 bar in the string of comments.
      Maybe something with a Trump angle...?
      But, 100 K is tip money for that guy.

      Delete
  10. I can get Whiny when I look at the Milky Way and see the Three Musketeers in the night sky!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But, they're fluffy not stuffy, after all.
      BTW, that line about 3 Musketeers is in my book.
      And...how's THAT for a tease?

      Delete
  11. Do kids still drink chocolate milk? I never hear of it
    much anymore but I don't pay attention to any kind of
    milk. I never liked it.

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    Replies
    1. Kids do.
      If they can't find brown cows, that is.
      Yeah, that old joke never fails to make me laugh.
      I have issues.

      Delete
  12. Replies
    1. Actually, all kidding aside (an it's tough to do this), so do I!
      My favorite really is Snickers.

      Delete
  13. hahahahaha, these are hilarious. :)

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    Replies
    1. I passed by the candy counter and saw all those Snickers bars. I just HAD to buy the "whiny" one.

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  14. These are hilarious, Al. I wonder if Oprah is talking about dark mini-malt balls or a stunted Tootsie Roll. ?

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  15. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    Replies
    1. Well geeze, Al, I wrote it twice. So now I'm leaving a third comment. I must be trying hard and long to compensate for someone's (Stedman's?) small something.

      Delete
  16. I'll never eat a snickers the same way again

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, that's just nuts.
      And caramel.
      And chocolate.
      Mmmmmmm.....chocolate.

      Delete
  17. How does anyone go on a Road Trip without Butterscotch Lifesavers? Michelle would really hate that in between B.L's, my dad would make us baloney, potato chip sandwiches on white bread. I still crave them on any drive over 100 miles.

    ReplyDelete