Thursday, October 29, 2015

Captain Caption LXXII - Halloween Edition


    Since Halloween is this Saturday and I've been invited to a party*, I'm in a bit of a pickle.  I haven't picked out a costume yet and all the good ones are already taken at "Halloween City" or the Republican National Headquarters.  So, I need to scramble to come up with something appropriate before the last day of October**.

*    Not true.  I'll probably spend the evening watching the elderly on the Hallmark Channel.
**  Because that's when Halloween is.  Does anyone not know that?
"Wonder if I can still go Trick-or-Treating?"

    Of course, there are some possibilities.  For instance, there's
Witch

Frankenstein Monster
Creature From the Black Lagoon

"That's 'Lagoon of Color.'  Cracker."  
The Mummy
Goblin
Walking Erection
Wolfman.
This is Wolf Blitzer from CNN.
Hey, it's a stretch, I know.
Sue me.

Skeleton.
Although, I don't have the right parts.
"Not a problem."

Clown
The Hindenburg


    After much thought and consideration, and in light of the fact that there are so many worthy choices, I've settled on what costume I'm going to wear to the party *** on Saturday night:  Village Idiot.

***That there is no party has been clearly established.
"I know where you'll be Saturday night, Penwasser.
 During commercial breaks for Murder, She Wrote, you'll be learning
how Liberty Mutual can help you with diabeettus."

    The only problem?  It's a tie.




Maybe I should just not go.  And say I was The Invisible Man, instead.

32 comments:

  1. Dear Lord, someone give that woman a Twinkie!
    I'm staying home and watching Bone Tomahawk with Kurt Russell. Far more entertaining than any party.

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    Replies
    1. Bone Tomahawk...reminds me (what doesn't?)...
      When Mrs. Penwasser and I went to a restaurant a few years ago, I saw "Pork Diane" on the menu. When the waitress came, I asked her if that was a dish or a command.
      Thank goodness her name wasn't Diane.
      Now, if I only knew a guy whose last name was "Tomahawk."

      Delete
  2. I was hoping you'd post Caitlyn Jenner. She's scary. It's annoying to me that I can't say that without being accused of being homophobic. Bruce Jenner was scary, and now, Caitlyn Jenner is even scarier. That said, Al, you have me thinking of dressing up as Gary Coleman. Do you vote for the alive or dead version? Boxers or briefs?

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    Replies
    1. Unfortunately, decent normal homosexuals sometimes get lumped in with he/she/it/whatever. At least if you speak to knuckleheads who can't make the distinction. The fact that he/she/it/whatever identifies himself/herself/itself as a Republican is a kind of cosmic irony, isn't it?
      Gary Coleman! Oh, MAN! Did I miss the boat with THAT one! Nuts. I could have posted the cooler picture. Maybe next year.

      Delete
  3. and I was going to go as Al Penwasser -but which version?

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    Replies
    1. Al 2.0
      It's the model which actually has pants on.

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    2. good suggestion. And he's the award winning writer

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    3. You two have me laughing.
      Happy Halloween!

      Delete
  4. Please go as the creature from the black lagoon so you can give us all hair and makeup tips. And if you are a realist, do tell how your diet has changed with that lip piercing.

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    Replies
    1. I'm heading out to Home Depot to buy a roller for that make-up now.

      Delete
  5. I still can't believe Dennis Rodman appointed himself U.S. Ambassador to North Korea.

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    Replies
    1. It's actually funny in a ludicrous kind of way.

      Delete
  6. I love this. Your choices were perfect. Decisions, decisions. You could always go as the beach beauty man from NJ!

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    Replies
    1. I had trouble limiting myself (for instance, I was going to go with a picture of Michael Moore, but I didn't want to vomit on my keyboard).

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  7. I really expected Sharpton to be captioned with "dumbass". Or Rafiki.

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    Replies
    1. So many captions, so little time.
      We'll see Al again.

      Delete
  8. Dame! I was going to trick or Treat as the Hindenburg. Now I have to come up with something else.

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    Replies
    1. Good thing. Filling yourself with hydrogen gas would probably be hazardous.

      Delete
  9. Who the heck is Skelator? She is downright scary! Caitlyn/Bruce is just icky. I think you should dress up as Erik Von Zipper.

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    Replies
    1. Jennifer Aniston. While the picture HAS to be photoshopped (nobody can get that gawdawful skinny on purpose, can they?), I thought it was pretty funny.

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    2. Yikes! I hope so because some actually do get that skinny

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  10. As long as you get lots of action, a walking erection isn't so bad lol

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  11. Not going to a party and saying you did go, but as the invisible man, sounds like something I'd do for fun. I also tend to avoid parties so it's a natural fit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That last line was accidental, but you're right. That's pretty funny.

      Delete
  12. I'm going as the Devil this Halloween; I'm picking up my Dick Cheney costume at the cleaners this afternoon.

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    Replies
    1. Huh, never thought of that one.
      Wished I had.

      Delete
  13. You could be a hybrid of the Village Idiot and The Walking Erection to double up on the laughs. Make sure the children don't bump into to you, though.

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    Replies
    1. People could hang their coats on me. That way, I could be both charming AND useful!

      Delete
  14. Pretty much all of them are perfect (and funny)!

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  15. Thank you for making me laugh, not for having to jump up and rush to the toilet before I wet myself from laughing

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