Saturday, July 11, 2015

If Your Right Boob Offends You...

  Sometimes, topics for Penwasser Place just fall into my lap (goodness knows, Mrs. Penwasser no longer does so).
  
  So it is today.  
  
  One of my favorite blogs is written by Stephen Hayes, the The Chubby Chatterbox.  Unlike me, Steve is a real storyteller who puts lot of thought into his writing.  Me?  I'll just post a picture of a man humping a fish, tell a dick joke, and call it even. 
  
Still, let's see you find anything like this on PBS!

      What's more, Steve is also a talented artist.  I always enjoy visiting his blog to feel lacking in comparison.
  
  He's even better looking than I.
  
  I learn an awful lot from him.  So, it was on July 3rd when he was wondering why it was women fixate on men who are proficient with bows and arrows.
  
  I opined that it was a phallic thing (see?  Dick joke).
  
  It was a very entertaining post in a "why is he more talented than I?" kind of way.  The only thing he never told us is where he shot his archery instructor and what happened.  Please, Steve, if you're reading this, feel free to answer in the comments.
  
  Believe it or not, I also read comments from other bloggers.  One such, from "The Bug" caught my eye.  She (or he...although probably she) said, "I tried shooting a bow and arrow once, but I had the problem the Amazons eliminated..."
I don't care if it's a girl.
You gotta put some britches on, dude.
  
  Surprisingly, no one responded with a "what do you mean?"  Although, I'm sure Steve knew what she was talking about (remember I wrote how wicked smart he was?).   I got the joke, too, because I'm full of useless crap like that.
  
  For those who don't know (especially those who clicked on that link and are wondering.  Really, you should have.  I went through all the trouble of putting it in...ooh, THAT sounds dirty...hee...hee...hee...  See?  Dick joke):
  
Olympia Stepinpoopalot cut off her left leg, though.
Apparently, she never got the memo.
  According to popular legend, the Amazons (a group of female warriors from Greek mythology.  C'mon, who doesn't know that?) cut off (or burned...yeesh!!) their right breast so they could to shoot an arrow.  Evidently, amply endowed ladies had trouble with their accuracy.

NOTE:  If they were like Mrs. Penwasser #1, they would have had no such trouble.

  Thus relieved of their "burdens," they were able to plug anyone stupid enough to jump ugly with chicks sporting one boob.
"I cut off both.
Just so I could shoot from both sides."
NOTE:  Yes, I know I said a few weeks ago that I wouldn't poke fun at Chaz anymore.  Well, I couldn't help it.  Sometimes, comedy, like Nancy Pelosi, isn't pretty.
 
"So, fellas with moobs are fine?
Good to know."
    By the way (WARNING:  Useless trivia ahead), some people say that the word "Amazon" comes from the Greek "a" (meaning "without") and "mazos" (meaning "breast").  But, who knows, it's all Greek to me. 
    And now you know something that will enrich your life and make you better as a person.  Yeahhhh, probably not.

    But, do yourself a favor anyway and go visit The Chubby Chatterbox.

    You can even keep your boobs.


Clearly not a genuine Amazon.

25 comments:

  1. lol they never showed the one breast thing in Xena or the like, so not accurate.

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  2. That's why they gave her a rope and not a bow. Amazon public image thing, ya know.

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  3. Those Amazon gals know how to party! Those wild lesbian one boob gals

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  4. Wasn't there a mythical tribe of women who used to fire arrows though their legs while lying on their backs? It's one of things I'm not sure whether I read or had a dream about. Anyway, sometimes a picture of a man humping a fish says more than any words can.

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  5. Sometimes I think Nancy Pelosi is a robot covered in makeup. Where's the truth movement weirdos when you need them?

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  6. I'm honored by your kind words. But sometimes you just need a picture of a guy doing it with a fish. Take care and thanks again for the shout out.

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    Replies
    1. You can rarely go wrong with fish sex.

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  7. Ok I am going over to see what Stephen has to say for himself because I always do as I am told, stop laughing I do what I am told sometimes when I am in the mood to do so.............

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    Replies
    1. You'll be glad. He's a very good storyteller.

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  8. Wait, mazos means breasts? But I thought that's what we Jews eat on Passover - the flat, tasteless bread. Oy vey, I'm eating breasts to celebrate my freedom from Egyptian bondage. And there I go mentioning bondage in a post about arrows and breasts and making love to a really big, long underwater sea creature. But Linda Carter sure was hot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One of our favorite movies aboard ship was "Bobby Jo and the Outlaw." It was a dreadful film, but it had Lynda Carter topless.
      So, there's that.

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    2. Wonder Woman with no wonder-bra? Ooh, I'm going to search Netflix for that one.

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    3. Like I said, a truly dreadful movie, but...boobies.
      Internet porn was still many years in the future, you know.

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  9. what if the amazon was a lefty> would amyone send her a memo to cut off her left breast?

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    Replies
    1. And here I thought I was the only one who wondered that.

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  10. Well, I was gonna go all Geena Davis and learn archery, but you've pretty well talked me out of hit. Ouch.

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    Replies
    1. Legends say some ladies tied them really tight. So you might be good to go.

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    2. If you can tie your boobs, gravity has not been kind to you.

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    3. Or throw 'em 'round your shoulders like a Continental soldier.
      Oh. Wait. Those are balls.
      Never mind.

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  11. If those Amazons waited long enough, gravity would have taken care of that old interfering boob problem. Unless they bent over while shooting. Nah, then they could have just flung it over their shoulder...

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    Replies
    1. Or testicles which get in your way when putting on sneakers.
      Age gets us all.

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  12. I'm glad I'm not an amazon. I would miss my boob like crazy

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    Replies
    1. And you'd walk with a lean to your left.

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