Thursday, June 4, 2015

To Be Mean

Tell me the first thing(s) you looked at.
Don't lie to me.
    Unless you've been living under a rock, you know that Olympic athlete, stepfather to the Kardashian harpies (that...poor...bastard), and stepfather-in-law to Kanye West (I refer you to my 'that...poor...bastard' comment) Bruce Jenner has transformed himself into Caitlyn Jenner.

    This is obviously a comedy gold mine.  For the snarky.  And, after pondering my latest Captain Caption, possibly the mean.

    Now I know that a lot of laughs can be derived from the foibles of those among us and some of them are richly deserved, in my opinion (e.g., Biden, Christie, Boehner, Weiner, Cheney).  However, some laughs can be considered cheap shots against a person (however disturbed we may think) who is a decent human being trying to find their way.

    I think my jab at Caitlyn Jenner may fall into that category.  Here's a person who was clearly (at least as I understand it) in pain over his lot in life.  And I don't mean the Kardashians (although THAT couldn't have helped).  So, he thought to live a happy life as best he saw it.  For that I say, hey, go for it.  As for me?  Well, nobody is going to lop off Little Al and scoop out the kiddies.  And, I'm certainly not going to be sporting the type of bosom that will have Bill Clinton breaking down my door.  But, if makes you happy and you are doing no harm?  Well, alrighty then.    

    With that in mind, I'm going to avoid further jumping on the joke bandwagon and pull myself out of the gutter.  I'll give the same consideration to Chaz Bono who seems to me to be a decent person whose wiring may be a tad off.  And, incidentally, is not nearly as good-looking a man as Bruce Jenner is as a woman.

"Just...this...once."

    Whoa....that's mean too, isn't it?

"Hey, this is good news.  Al Penwasser is going to stop making fun of me.
Now, can someone tell who the hell Al Penwasser is?"
    With that in mind, I considered removing today's Captain Caption.  And to stop poking fun at Richard Simmons.  But, I didn't.  And I won't.  Good grief!  Baby steps, people, baby steps.

Sorry, Rich.  You're just too easy.



NOTE:  A lot of angst has been hurled at Caitlyn Jenner over the ESPN Courage Award.  And justly so (although Jenner wasn't actively campaigning for it).  There are plenty of more worthy recipients for this achievement, but ESPN has an agenda which-"Hey, we didn't do it because of this!"-will be a frikkin' ratings bonanza!!  For those outraged by this (once again, I agree with them), be honest.  Did any (or most) of you even give two craps about some dopey ESPN award show until this came up?
"Al Penwasser?
Al Penwasser's the little shit who just won't shut up.
In fact, I've got my best man on it to see what we can do to make him go away."

"Alpen Wasser?
Means 'Alpine Water.'
Hope that helps."

45 comments:

  1. Yeah, the Courage Award is a complete joke now.
    Good to hear Simmons is still fair game.

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    1. Well, I can't completely change.
      For one thing, I don't have enough money.

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  2. I never even knew there was such an award. Ratings drive it indeed. Must mean at the Oscars he'll win an honorary little naked man with no man parts. Oops, that slipped out.

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    1. See? That was my point. I wonder if people would be honest like you and admit they had never heard of it before.

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  3. Please don't evah get outta the guttah. Who would I hang out with? And, before my caffeine kicked in I wrote a stupid ass comment on your Captain Caption that I would now like to amend to read, "but her balls are surely waxed to perfection". Now I fell bettah. Thanks and keep those jokes a comin'!

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    1. Well, nothing beats a newly-waxed set of balls, after all.
      In bowling.
      Hmmm....don't think my place in the gutter will ever grow cold.

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  4. I never heard of that award so I must live in a cave or something. With his I mean her new reality show coming soon, there will be a lot of material for media to blast. We better get ready for long ride on this one!

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    1. As I suspected, a LOT of people never heard of the award either. In fact, while I HAVE, I never gave it much thought.
      The cynic in me sees a lot of suits at ESPN rubbing their hands together at the coming ratings bonanza.

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  5. The Kardashian harpies drive me insane just from catching snippets of the show flicking channels. I can only imagine what sort of harm would be inflicted upon a person's psyche if they actually have to live with them....

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    1. It would make me want to take a belt sander to my junk.

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  6. Good on you, Al, and Little Al too, for not hurling spitballs at Brucie! I must say the transformation is pretty impressive, given how shitty he's/she's been looking on the cover of the rags on display at the checkout counters of my local Safeway - which I NEVER buy (because I read them in line - hahahaha).

    Thing is, for me, we're all just energy packaged in these shitty, not well fitting, human bags - the fact some energy isn't happy in its respective bag doesn't phase me one little bit. In the beauty business nothing surprises me - I've seen some rather interesting "changes" - in fact, I used to work alongside Canada's first transgender sex change person. And… he/she was a lovely person, no matter what the wrapping was.

    Anyway, do keep up with your jabs at the likes of Simons - honestly, his barber should be shot! And so should his wardrobe person! Well… someone should be held accountable for that mess! Maybe we just need to blame his parents - aren't they always the ones to blame, for everything. (I know of this one! hahahaha)

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    1. Energy trapped in human bags. That's why I believe there's something after this life. Energy can't be created or destroyed. It can be modified, though. My ego is such that I can't believe my soul, my essence, my "katra" (to borrow a term from Star Trek) will just disappear after a few decades.
      As for Richard? Oh yeah, I won't be stopping.

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  7. I'm so glad to find people taking this in stride. The noxious hate online is ridiculous. If this makes her happy, why should it bother anyone else? I mean, what else is the point of life if not to be happy with oneself? My two-cents.

    God, do I hate the Kardashians though. Bunch of losers.

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    1. As long as you're not hurting anyone, I really don't care.
      I think it's weird, but, hey, I refer to my first sentence.

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    2. She ain't hurting anyone so there we go. I don't really find it weird, but that's just me. Might be because I don't really care, but I don't know. Haha

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  8. I can't imagine what kinda hell a person has to be living in to resort to something as drastic as switching teams, so to speak, but if switching teams gets transgenders out of that hell and makes them feel fulfilled, more power to 'em. As for the new and improved Caitlin, it's annoying as hell that (s)he's a more attractive woman than I am. (I've had so much more practice at it!)

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    1. She's a more attractive woman than I am, too.
      Huh. I guess that goes without saying.

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    2. By the way, don't sell yourself short. You're very attractive.
      I still would make a horrid looking broad, though.

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    3. Well, at least I'm quite attractive to mosquitoes.

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  9. You calls 'em as you see 'em. If you don't someone else will and it won't be as funny. He now She chose to put it all in the spotlight and that makes it fair game. One of my guys (age 32) at work asked, "What the big deal with this Bruce Jenner thing? Did he do anything?" That sums up the news of the world as it rolls out 24/7. Oh and he also asked, "Who's this Al dude?"

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    1. Put it in the spotlight and making it fair game....yeah, that pretty much nails it. Huh.
      As far as "Who is Al?" I may repost an oldie which explains how Al Penwasser came to be.

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  10. Everyone is mocking her, but I think she looks great.

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    1. Yeah, she really does? But, like Julie says below, the key is seeing what she looks like in a pair of sweats laying on the couch on a Saturday morning.

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  11. The way I see it, Al, anyone is fodder. I do agree that Bruce/Caitlyn is a very decent, and even impressive person. I support his/her transition to a woman. Yet I have some issues with the whole thing to. People aren't going there (ie into saying anything critical) for fear of appearing homophobic. Yet it's okay to think she looks great and did the right thing for him/her and mock the way she/he and the K-clan, and media are handling it. I also believe Caitlyn is pretty darn clueless about the rest of humanity. You know?

    Anyway, I guess I'm using your space for catharsis. You're good for that. xo

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    1. Anyone is fodder. Unless they're a mudder.
      Oooh, that was pretty lame.

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  12. I really don't care. Too many people do and that is the problem.. I have a niece that never felt right as a girl and did counseling and considered being male. But, she found someone who accepted her for her and she is in a different place now.
    The biggest issue that I have with it is the money. It's not about it just being news. It's ratings which equals money. The reality show is about money. Whoever says it is not is less than honest. Is Caitlyn doing this for free? I bet there is advertising dollars to be made for the network.
    When there are earthquakes all over, the TPP crap going on, amongst other things and this is the biggest headline seen all over, it is a pretty sad state of affairs.

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    1. I really don't care, either. There are PLENTY of much more important things going on.
      As I like to say...
      meanwhile, in the Middle East....

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  13. I am more bothered by the name a "C" instead of a "K" and why the "Y". As long as he finds himself in his new image as a her great. The reason he is fodder is how much he let himself be in the spotlight and will continue to be with another reality show that sucks the brains out of people. I still believe there are invisible wires on him/her and Kris is the one in charge. She should not get this award-it's so sad but I also heard some people want Caitlyn to give back the Olympic medals and Bruce won that fair and square 40 some odd years ago. Now if Caitlyn would just put on some shirt since the fake ta-ta's are too perky for a 60 some odd year old

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    1. I heard that about the Olympic medals. That is just insane.

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    2. He did sports( football and track and field) at Graceland College here in Iowa. It's private, meaning church affiliated.I don't know how the alumni feel about this turn of events.

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  14. All kidding aside, I can't imagine being in his/her shoes. You have to give him credit for doing this in the public eye. We don't know what it feels like to be in someone else's skin so enough said. Let the man/woman live in peace...with the Kardashians!

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    1. I haven't been there, know 100% I'll never be there, but...seriously...whatever.

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  15. It's funny you mention the ESPN award thing and then show a picture of Obama, a man who, in the eyes of many, unjustly won a Nobel Peace Prize for essentially "Not being George Bush". I say let Caitlyn just live the life she wants and do whatever she wants. We'll find a new media circus in a few weeks. Then we can all move on with our lives.

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  16. The first thing I noticed was her unsmiling face.

    Love,
    Janie

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  17. I want to see a photo of Caitlyn out and about in sweatpants. If she still looks great, then I'll have to start "Sweating With The Oldies" with Richard. Hope Biden doesn't find you. If anyone can't, it's him!

    Julie

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    1. I have great faith in his being comedy fodder for quite some time.

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  18. A good way of showing your solidarity with Caitlyn would be to post a picture of yourself in drag. No need for any chopping and scooping, but choose a nice dress.

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    1. Ohhhhhh...,..be careful what you ask for.

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  19. My first thought was a meme of the Jenner picture, with "It's the women that cause it" on the top and "Kanye you're next" underneath. I just don't really want to be around the picture in the first place, though...

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    1. Kardashians: We Make You Want to Cut Your Dick Off

      I like it.
      The meme. Not cutting my dick off.

      Delete
  20. Secretly, I hope he gets a nasty yeast infection!

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