Saturday, May 16, 2015

Wouldn't Expect To See This in a School Office

NOTE:  For those of you who are Facebook followers, you've already seen this.  My apologies for crossing the social media streams.  Which is sorta like what we do after drinking too many beers and going outside to the snowbank.

One of the jobs I have besides award-winning professional writer* is custodian.  It's a fast-paced profession which affords me the opportunity to interact with education professionals on a daily basis.  As I dump their trash.
Yeah.  It's as cool as that.
The other night, I happened to be cleaning the front office.  While vacuuming (which sucks, by the way.  See what I did there?), I noticed this on the shelf.



Now, I haven't a clue WTH this book was supposed to be.  Could it be an abbreviation of some sort (e.g. 'cumulative')?  Or, could it be an acronym?  If that is the case, I would call this one downright unfortunate acronym.

I supposed I could have examined the binder more closely,  but there was no way I was going to touch it without rubber gloves.

Because, if it meant what I was afraid it meant, that thing was downright unsanitary.

"I told Monica buying that book was a bad idea!"

*Technically true.  I have won an award (not much) and I have gotten paid (certainly not much). 

But, hey, if you feel like pissing your money away...

31 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Some people see things and ask, "Why?"
      Other people see things and ask, "Why not?"
      I see things and ask, "How can I make a rude joke about it?"
      It's a sickness.

      Delete
  2. I'm sticking with 'cumulative.' On second thought, maybe 'sticking' isn't the best word. I'm surprised the school doesn't spring for some gloves. I'll bet you can snag a few pairs from the nurse's office. Yes, we're still talking about gloves, Al.

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm thinking 'cumulative,' as well. But, some things you just shouldn't abbreviate.

      Delete
  3. I wonder what they want it for?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Do they want to leave it there as evidence?
    You have an interesting job, Al.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's been slow, but it's starting to pick up.

      Delete
  5. Hmm, maybe you need one of those csi lights to have a look and truly know. Actually you may not want to go back into work again after using one of those.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What would happen if I also found blood splatter???????

      Delete
  6. Good grief, wouldn't a simple "No Blow Jobs In Office" sign be sufficient?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True. Then, they wouldn't have to worry about removal.
      You're a thinker, Chris. I like that.

      Delete
  7. Just spit-balling here, but as a custodian shouldn't you have rubber gloves?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I only wear rubber gloves when I clean the toilets.
      And that time when Mrs. Penwasser and I...I've said too much already.

      Delete
  8. In the 8th grade, someone went in the boys bathroom and made all the walls yellow. I'm sure that custodian went through several gloves with that mess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LUCKILY, that hasn't happened yet (neither have they gotten a shade of brown).
      Now that I said that, I have to work tomorrow night.

      Delete
  9. No, not "cumulative" - it has to be a noun if it's something that could be removed. I'm guessing "cucumber", which is a word badly in need of an abbreviation. Now go and find the cucumber that produced the cum.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really should have looked at it.
      But...I was afraid.

      Delete
  10. Replies
    1. Thank you!
      And funny looking.
      On an unrelated note, let me know if the birthday card made it. I mailed it earlier in the week and I have no idea how long it should take.

      Delete
  11. I am going to wash my hands now. And maybe my eyes. I seem to do that a lot after reading your blog. (you do crack me up)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Maybe it was a typo? They might have been saying "Do not remove vaccum"

    ReplyDelete
  13. I think it is a pregnancy for dummies book. If you throw out the cum then you can't make a baby.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In you put it in a test tube, you can have a womb with a view.

      Delete
  14. I think some desperate middle aged woman who only gets action every few years (e.g., me) wrote that. It's nice to keep a souvenir around.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So, THAT'S she kept looking at me.
      She has low standards.
      And she should get her eyes checked.

      Delete
  15. Frightened to touch it, Al? And you, an ex-seaman! Sorry, couldn't resist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh no. I'm the only man I'll allow to touch me.

      Delete
  16. Oh my..this book should have an ultra violet light on it-icky

    ReplyDelete