The following is an excerpt from my book It's An Adventure, a tale of life aboard the aircraft carrier, USS America (I'm sure you already knew that. Goodness knows I haven't shut my mouth about it since I started writing it). I'm sure that this, along with the entire book, will undergo significant revision before I inflict the general public with it in time for Christmas shopping! Because, let's face it, nothing says you don't care for someone more than thrusting some cheesy memoir on them.
But, this will give you a first look at the rough draft. Plus, there's pictures. So, you have that going for you. Which is nice.
Anyway, this is a story of the Barbary Apes (you may have gathered that from the title) and is the prelude to when we actually convinced someone to keep a watch out for a monkey attack. Yeah, no kidding.
What happens? Well, you'll have to buy the book. Or let one of your friends with a parrot let you read the bottom of their bird cage.
The gist of this is true (much like most of the historical pabulum I write).
|It's An Adventure is a sequel to this |
Now available on Amazon!
Now. And forever.
Strait of Gibraltar
|"Okay, so I don't have a tail. |
But, you just see if I can't hit you right in the kisser
with a lump of poop as big as your head."
Despite the fact they are called “apes” (much like those in the Deck Department) and the fact they do not possess tails (much like those in the Deck Department. As far as we know), they are actually monkeys. More specifically, they are “macaques” and are the only wild monkey population in Europe.
|"Because, hey, isn't history after white people |
arrived the only kind which matters?"
|"Hey, you can't pin this on my family. |
Besides, we were too busy eating monkey fritters.
And, it's spelled with an 'e'."
As far as those fossils? Slow-moving Frenchmen.
Legend has it that, as long as there are macaques on Gibraltar, the British will remain on “The Rock.” In fact, when the macaque
|Churchill even tried Peebles Pet Shop, but sadly, he only had a gorilla for sale. |
I wonder how many of you will get this.
Trust me. I think it's kinda funny.
|"Seriously, is that all it would have taken? |
And you never told me!?"
NOTE: I have no idea if there is such a thing. Sorry. You think comedy is easy?
The Strait of Gibraltar, at its narrowest point, is 7.7 nautical miles wide.
So, it was only natural to fear a seaborne assault on passing ships by hordes of pirate monkeys.
|Hey, it could happen. |
No, wait, this is a chimp.
|Hurry now while...yadda, yadda, yadda...yeah, you know the drill|