Thursday, March 12, 2015

Captain Caption LXIII

"You know when there's only one sheet left on the roll?
  Sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands.
 But, then the sinks don't work and that can be pretty embarrassing.
I honestly don't know how the Arabs do it."

23 comments:

  1. I can honestly say I've thankfully never reached that point. I'll look for anything, anything, before I have to resort to literally using my hands. This is why we need to keep newspapers alive people.

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    Replies
    1. I HAVE had to deal with only one sheet.
      But, you have to be careful you don't give yourself a prostate exam.

      Delete
  2. That's why you always look before you squat.

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    Replies
    1. Sometimes I haven't and then.....
      Efffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. But, I could never catch that damn cat.

      Delete
  4. No job is complete until you finish the paper work.

    When I was a kid, we used to sing about this in a song set to the tune of the Branded (television show, Chuck Connors...) theme:

    Stranded
    Stranded on the toilet bowl
    What do you do when your stranded -
    And you need another roll.

    To prove you're a man you must wipe it with your hand....
    Stranded!

    Now we find out if you can block me, Al. Ha ha ha ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG!!!!!
      I thought we only sang that in Connecticut!!!!
      So you must know this one:
      In days of old
      when knights were bold
      and toilet paper hadn't been invented.
      They left their load
      beside the road
      and went away...
      contented.
      Ahhhhhhhhh.........the halycon days of childhood.

      Delete
  5. I think Arabs only wipe with their left hand, and eat with the right. It's a good thing that Bob Dole never became president because, as I understand it, dole in Arabic means "penis".

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    Replies
    1. No, you're right. That's why, when we were in Saudi Arabia, we were told to NEVER wave hello using your left hand. Especially if you just wiped.

      Delete
  6. That is why I never use public washrooms if I can help it, rather go outdoors and then use leaves. Or I'd take off my shirt and use that and then toss it if I really had to, no touching that, blah.

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  7. Al's Outdoor Tip: Just make sure the leaves aren't poison ivy.

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    Replies
    1. Al's Other Outdoor Tip: Just make sure that, by 'outdoors,' you don't mean 'just outside the front door to the apartment complex.' Apartment Managers tend to frown on that sorta thing.

      Delete
  8. "I'm holding all the dollars you have more than I do"

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    Replies
    1. And you think he'd pick up the check? Nooooooo.

      Delete
  9. "With these bare hands.....". Oh wrong guy!

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  10. It pays to have the Ganges available.

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  11. What an idiot! He doesn't even use two-ply.
    PS Who is that? I've know time to learn the identity of such commoners.

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    Replies
    1. Warren Buffett. Or Jimmy Buffett. Who knows? Like I told Barb, all crackers look alike.

      Delete
  12. "No" time, not "know" time. Oy vey. I try to come across as arrogant but can barely spell it. I-t. Got it...Sorry. Off I go, to whence I have two-ply.

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