Wednesday, December 10, 2014

It's Happened

No, that's not what I meant.  That won't happen until Sunday night, whether Mrs. Penwasser likes it or not.
"Huh...'Just For Men.'  That sounds legit."

  The long awaited story of my first nine months in the Navy is finished and is ready to be ignored by millions at Create Space.

NOTE:  I have no idea who was "long awaiting" this thing.

  Titled It's Not Just A Job (I gotta think that was obvious by the picture above), it's the culmination of over a year of work and finding an excuse to lay around and drink.  For those who read the first bit of this book over at my other blog (which has since shut down), you'll recognize quite a bit.  
Mission Accomplished

  I've updated it a bit, though, so what you read last year will more than likely be a little different.  But, it remains the true story of my first nine months in the Navy when I went by Ken Lynch (which-surprise!-I still do).  
"This also should be obvious."
  I plan on writing at least two more sequels, which will be available over the next two years.  The follow-on, It's An Adventure is 1/4, 1/3, 1/5? done (I'm not very good with fractions) and will cover the three years I was aboard the aircraft carrier America.
Long before this happened, though
  Why Create Space, you might ask, if you feigned interest?  Well, Create Space is a self-publishing platform which doesn't cost a cent.  The downside to that is that they keep most of the money collected from sales and the author (that would be me-my, don't I sound frikkin' pretentious?) only gets a royalty check when profits reach $100.

  For instance, I still have yet to receive any royalties from Shag Carpet Toilet, despite it being one putrid piece of crap laugh-out-loud funny.
"Yeah, seriously, what's up with that?
I have a girl falling face-first into elephant poop.
Let's see that Navy book top that."
  In essence, it's more important to me if people laugh than if I got wealthy.
But, I would like to be able to keep paying for my therapy.

    So, if you'd like to laugh and keep paying for my therapy,  you could do a whole lot worse than buy It's Not Just A Job.  You could live with me.
  
  It's available right now at https://www.createspace.com/5157814

  Or, if you prefer, you can download the Kindle version.  Just go to Amazon and type in It's Not Just A Job.
"Do I need to say anything?"


    Just be warned, there is VERY harsh language in this book.  It, after all, is about sailors...in the 1970s.
"Really...?"
  One word, in particular (yes, that word) is used frequently.  However, there is ZERO violence and very little sex, besides topless dancers in Milwaukee and a recruit waving his erection around proving that the ardor-dampening effects of saltpeter is a myth.  

  There will also be very little sex in the sequels, because this, after all, is about my experiences in the Navy.
Which is kind of hard to believe, considering I was such a hunk.
  If you order now, you can have It's Not Just A Job in time for Christmas.  Then, instead of a fruitcake, you can give this hideous bit of nonsense to people you don't like.
"Ya know, I'd really order a copy,
but Barack told me to keep an eye out for Santa.
And I can't read."

30 comments:

  1. Thanks for explaining what Create Space was. I had heard of it but that's all, just the name.

    Wish you lots of luck and Happy Selling.

    PS: Your post was funny :-)

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    1. Thanks! I REALLY should have given him credit for inspiring me to go after Create Space, but all thanks go to Mark of The Rambling Person blog. If it wasn't for him, I would have pursued traditional publishing or self-publishing which costs a few hundred dollars. Really, it's all about making people laugh, not making money, which drives me. After all, that's why I write Penwasser Place.
      Golly, I HOPE I make people laugh.

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    2. Do you ever write something that catches you and you find yourself laughing? I love when that happens.

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    3. ALL THE TIME. Remember: therapy.

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  2. It's quite a challenge selling things from our blogs. I've yet to sell a single Chubby Chatterbox mug. For you--half price.

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  3. I will get the paper version. I am not a kindle person. Even though I have a book available on Kindle and in paper.

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    1. I'm not a Kindle person either. When I fall asleep while reading, the Kindle hurts when it bops me in the nose.

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  4. I wish you well with your book, Al.

    My own book - a critique of Western psychiatry - is published on the 1st of February. Perhaps we can do a 'you show me yours and I'll show you mine' sort of swap?

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    1. That would be swell.
      Do I have to lay on a couch?

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  5. There's nothing like a good naval story, especially if the sailors get plenty of shore leave to party with exotic belly-dancers. A naval story with navels is what the public craves.

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    1. The next book will have a belly dancer (we went to Alexandria, Egypt in 1979).
      Before the people over there went nuts.

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  6. Waiting for the paper book too. And I am disappointed. They told me that the check from my purchase of SCT was in the mail... Maybe if you moved to Guatemala and told people you need a sponsor....

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  7. Seeing the book and Joe Biden reminds me of an old simpsons episode. Lisa gets some book by Al Gore and the scene ends with a long transmission that is finally delivered to someone who tells Al Gore that he has finally got a person to buy his book.

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    1. I don't remember seeing that, but I know I would get a kick out of it!

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  8. Congratulations on your new book. May you sell a ton. I love all those Navy stories.

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    1. I hope a lot of people read it. But, if they do, where will I get any more Navy stories?
      Whew! There's plenty more.

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  9. Oh yeah, barely make anything with createspace and then you have to sit and wait and wait, I've been at 88 dollars for 3 months now, damn 100 limit screws you every time. I'll get the kindle version indeed, as soon as I get a credit card again. They kinda came with their bats and took them away. No broken bones though lol

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    1. I'm not expecting a windfall, huge or otherwise. It's just cool having it "out there."

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  10. This sounds great! (Don't be confused. I'm not easily offended, I just keep my site clean because far too many teens read it - they know me and for who-knows-what reason, they read Flipside).

    I think it's cool having it out there, too! I might just check it out.

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    1. I hope people aren't put off by the language. But, I had to recreate it as close to the truth as possible. As I get older, the language will be cleaned up somewhat. Things aren't like they were. For instance, my nephew went through boot camp (at Great Lakes, too) a couple years ago. I'd be curious to see what he thinks of it.

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  11. I thought I would be your editor, but you forged ahead without my skills. I think I'll crawl away to cry now.

    Not a lot of love,
    Janie

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    1. Sorry! I got antsy. I think you would have caught there were no page numbers, though.

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  12. Has your wife figured out that if she buys your book, she doesn't have to live with you anymore?! Sounds like a pretty good deal to me! Congrats Al! I love all of Ken's Navy stories, and look forward to reading It's Not Just A Job! Wishing you much success!

    Julie

    PS - Great cover!

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    1. We usually use that painting of me to scare away trick-or-treaters. It's nice to find another use.

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  13. Congrats on getting it published Al. I didn't know that extra rule about CreateSpace. Amazon changed theirs and it used to be that you had to have at least $10 to get a check but now it's any number. I hope this one goes well.

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    1. It's all thanks to you, my friend. Really, the money is not a big concern.

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