Wednesday, December 17, 2014

A Yule Dad Cometh

Continued from An Iceland Christmas (really, you didn't figure that out?).  I'd provide a link, but that's too much work.  If you really want to know what's going on, please select "Older Posts"  below.
In the running for the role of Yule Lads.
Until the government of Iceland realized they were all dead.
    Our daughter was snoring away-no doubt dreaming of what kind of “loot” she’d get from the little troll that night (and I don’t mean me).  A precocious fourth-grader, she made sure to tell us at dinner that she’d been a great girl that year.  Hopefully, Stekkjarstaur would be able to fit a puppy in her sneaker.
Type II Diabetes-Starring Eddie Murphy

    One child down, I told my wife I’d place a “Family Size” Snickers (if that family was the Klumps) in my son’s shoe.

    The base’s apartments weren’t like the typical ones back in America.  Everything was so small, I didn’t have room to walk around his bed.  This being the case, I had to stretch clear across where he slept just to reach the windowsill.          

    As I neared his shoe, I heard a voice from out of the darkness, “That’s okay, Dad.  You can turn on the light if you can’t see.”

    Busted, I quickly dropped the candy into his shoe and departed without a word.

    The next morning at breakfast, I asked my eleven year old about the night before.

    “Oh, that,” he said with a wave of his hand, “I’m too old for that stuff anymore.  I’ll tell you what, just save yourself the trouble and give me my present before I go to bed.”

    Mildly depressed that my little boy was growing up, I said nothing as he headed off to school.

    Before he walked through the door, he called over his shoulder, “Oh, hey, I left something for you and Mom on your nightstand.  See you this afternoon.”

    Shaking off my gloominess, I shuffled into my dollhouse bedroom and saw a piece of paper next to the alarm clock.  It was my son’s Christmas list.
What the frik is an iPod Docking Station?
Maybe I should just give the Penwasser kid a potato.
    Starting off with “Dear Santa,” it went on to list, by color, size, and memory storage, everything he wanted to see under the tree come Christmas morning.
    
    At the bottom, he closed with, “Oh, yeah, just in case, Merry Christmas, Mom and Dad.”
    
    Or, as they say in Iceland, “Gleδileg Jól.”

2014 Update:  We returned from Iceland in 2005 (well, I returned in 2005.  They returned in 2004.  Sucks to be them that I knew my way home).  Our son is a college graduate who now lives in Norfolk, Virginia.  I guess he got tired of me skulking around in the middle of the night putting things in shoes.  Our daughter is a college junior. She goes to school close enough that she can do her laundry here.  She checks her shoes every time she comes home.

16 comments:

  1. What great stories your family must share around the dinner table! Merry Christmas!

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    1. Funny you should say that. Our kids have told us that, even if they've heard our stories before, they always like hearing them.
      You don't think they're just patronizing the old folks, do you?

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  2. Busted!
    But cute your daughter still checks her shoe.

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    1. She is pretty comical about that. Of the two, I think she is the most like me in the sense of humor department.
      But, thank goodness she looks like her mother and not me.
      Funny we can take, but not funny LOOKING.

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  3. Well i think you found one of the only reasons to have dozens of shoes

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    1. I just gotta watch before I slide my foot into one of them, though.

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  4. A fun Christmas story I'm sure you enjoy telling every Christmas. Take care.

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    1. It usually comes up every year (like anything I cook).

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  5. The Hurricane's favorite family story is the one about the distant relative who left her husband and ran away with the milkman. No one ever forgave her. No one spoke to her again. My sisters and I love telling people that our mother grew up in prison. That's good for a stare and a question.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. So many opportunities for a sophomoric joke, so little time...

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  6. I do hear a lot of European countries do the candy in boots tradition. I guess someone switched to stockings over the fireplace when they got chocolate all over their feet.

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    1. As long as there aren't any feet still in them, I guess it's okay.

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  7. Once again, all I have to do is go to your blog and I start laughing uncontrollably. Stop it, Al! I'll bet the Icelandic government was happy to save on cremation or burial costs. You can practically fit three in one casket.
    Love you,
    xoRobyn

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    1. But, do you blow milk through your nose? Nothing says funny quite like a good "milk nose blow."

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  8. At my house, the rule is "play the Santa game with me or don't" - I respond in kind. Mine are 32, 30 and 17 and they believe in Santa - still. Ha ha ha.

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    1. That's their story and they're sticking with it.
      Keep those gifts coming.

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