Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Wait Until Someone Steps Out the Door

Then...BOOM!!!!



You can kiss that box of glazed goodbye.


  By the way, I won the contest at Mid-Life Collage for Journey to the Center of My Bowels.  Thank you, thank you to everyone who read/commented on my tale of my tail (see what I did there?).  So, I guess you could call me an "Award Winning Published Author" now.  Or Mrs. Penwasser's pet name for me, "Dumbass."  
  Maybe now I can submit those stories about my vasectomy and hemorrhoid surgery (NOTE: They didn't occur at the same time.  Although that would be quite a story, huh?)?

"TMI!  For the love of all that's holy...TMI!"

23 comments:

  1. Congrats on your win sir!! And now I am craving a box of doughnuts...

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    Replies
    1. Try the crullers. they're to die for.

      Delete
  2. Pass on the hemorrhoid surgery story. All in for the vasectomy story. And heck yeah you can call yourself an award winning published author! Well done, sir.

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    Replies
    1. The good news is that the vasectomy story is already written. I keep trying to write about the hemorrhoid surgery, but I can never finish. It's a real pain the ass.
      BA DUM BUM

      Delete
  3. Well done on your award. Where are you planning to keep it? Will there be security? I'm not planning to steal it or anything, I'm just checking that it wouldn't be easy to steal since there are some dubious Bloggers out there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm going to spend it all in one place.
      At only $50, that shouldn't be terribly difficult.

      Delete
  4. Congrats indeed, going in search of those cave paintings paid off after all

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    Replies
    1. I'm in negotiations with the Smithsonian Institution at this time for the rights.
      They really should be cleaned up first, though.

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. Thanks! I was actually kinda surprised. What a hoot to get paid for something that was rattling around in my head (or my bowels).

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  6. Al! That is fantastic and so well-deserved!! Congratulations!!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! They even let me keep the verbs in.

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  7. Congratulations on that win. It must feel good to be a published author. I can't wait to read your vasectomy story. My brother was driving home after having his procedure and he got into a car crash. He had to stand on the side of the road in pain, talking to the police for forty-five minutes.

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    Replies
    1. Oh, my goodness. I wish that had happened to my ex-husband when I had him fixed.

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  8. Delighted to hear about your win Al - thoroughly deserved.

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  9. Congratulations. I'm happy for you, and the photo made me laugh out loud. Will you please write a story in which my ex-husband has a vasectomy and pisses off someone because we all know X is an asshole and the pissed-off person kicks X in the balls and the pissed-off person is named Janie Junebug?

    Love,
    Janie Junebug, sweetest girl on the planet

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My vasectomy story is written. All I need to do is massage it a little.
      Then, when I'm done, I'll work on the story.
      BA DUM BUM

      Delete
  10. Way to go! You should have sex now! Sorry Mrs. P. I shouldn't suggest such things.

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  11. Congrats!! And I must say... the guy is good... I had no idea what you were talking about...

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  12. Congrats on your well-deserved win! I loved your story! Bring on your hemorrhoids, and vasectomy. We can take it.

    Julie

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