Monday, August 11, 2014

Feel Good About Yourself

  Whatever problems you think you may have, be of good cheer.  At least you're not this lady.

She was someone's baby once.
  An Oklahoma teacher was arrested for allegedly showing up drunk, shoeless, and pantless on her day of the job.

NOTE To My British (and Australian, as well?) friends:  I know what you may be thinking:  "So, she wasn't wearing pants.  What's the big deal?"  Our "pants" is used interchangeably with the word "trousers."  I believe that "pants" to a British speaker means "undergarments."  So, this is worse than you may think.
ESPECIALLY if she wasn't wearing undergarments, as well.

  Lori Ann Hill, 49, was found in an empty classroom by the Wagoner High School Assistant Principal.  He was unavailable for comment, as he immediately ran to the Nurse's Office to obtain an icepick so that he might "erase that mental image from my mind's eye."

At press time, it was unclear whether he found her hot.
Maybe so.
It is Oklahoma, after all.

  I just hope she didn't teach Sex Education.

  There now, don't you feel so much better?

"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life.
Unless you can score a sweet gig as a teacher in Oklahoma."







36 comments:

  1. I need a scouring pad for my brain now...

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  2. And I got fired from my teaching gig just because the students tried to kill me. I should have kept a flask in my desk drawer and flashed the little tenth-grade bastards. The sight of my bodacious ta-tas would have stopped them in their tracks.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. Seriously, that sounds like quite the story.
      She might have been able to pull it off if she looked like Cameron Diaz, but...
      Well, now, THAT was a misogynistic thing to say.

      Delete
  3. Blah, I think she needs a bigger booking sign

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    Replies
    1. Perspective, it's all about perspective.
      I'll bet the booking sign was HUGE.

      Delete
  4. Gosh, how many of us are gonna put THAT picture on our blogs today?

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    Replies
    1. I saw it on yours. Can you imagine...? That's the kind of notoriety I could do without!!

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  5. She's the kind of woman you really want to be a mean bitch so you don't have to feel sorry for her.

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    Replies
    1. I figure drunks at school are fair game.

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  6. To be honest I do kind of feel better about myself right now. Things aren't so bad for me. At least I'm not her. Or worse, one of her students or the guy who found her.

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    Replies
    1. No matter how low you are, there's always someone lower.

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  7. There are a couple of teachers from my school days who I would have loved to have bound into the classroom drunk and pantless! But then again there were far more who I'm relieved kept their kits on!

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    Replies
    1. I had nuns in elementary school so...
      Come to think of it, there WAS my 7th grade nun who....
      No! NOOOOOO! Banish that thought!!!!!

      Delete
  8. She looks like one of those mean teachers, so long-term crisis averted.

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    Replies
    1. I bet you're right. She'd probably smack you around and sweat all over you in the process.

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  9. So when did that become wrong?
    I hope no one hurt her feelings because she will be suing the school board!

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  10. Dean Wormer might not have thought fat, drunk and stupid was a way to go through life, but I'm determined to prove him wrong!

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    Replies
    1. Sometimes, stupid and drunk go hand in hand. At least they did when I went camping with my brothers.

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  11. Hey Al
    I'm happy we are both back. You never criticize when I say politically incorrect words and "fat is fat" here. A slob is a slob and a slut is a slut. Thanks

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    Replies
    1. I really hesitate to lambaste people for appearances, but I have no such problems when it appears that they are morons.
      Hence, my making fun of people like Rob Ford.
      And, of course, Teacher of the Year.

      Delete
  12. Dean Wormer never gets old! Animal House was a classic, and even Bluto wouldn't have wanted to be drinking buddies with this woman.

    Julie

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    Replies
    1. I was really hoping that people would get the Dean Wormer bit. Sometimes, I use pictures of people/events that are pretty vague in their meaning, especially to our friends in the UK and Australia. Then again, THEY have local bits of humor which would go over our heads. Like Camilla Parker-Bowles.
      Oops, bad example.

      Delete
  13. Yes I this Aussie thought no big deal

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    Replies
    1. We take our education seriously here.
      That's why we lag the industrialized world in math and the sciences.
      Oh, wait, that doesn't make sense.

      Delete
  14. Here in Kentucky our teachers do that every day :)

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    Replies
    1. Ah just be hopins' they haves purdy moufs, is all.

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  15. Yikes! Yes, I do feel better. Thanks. :)

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  16. Next you will be telling me that it isn't socially acceptable for a teacher to get stoned in the dark room. Where has our society gone?

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    Replies
    1. Well...as long as it's dark...mebbe so.

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  17. Replies
    1. Donald Duck never needs a pair.
      Of pants.

      Delete
  18. I thought that was only acceptable behavior from a teacher on the LAST day of term

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  19. I just threw up a little bit in my mouth...

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