It sounds like something that Keith, the Optimistic Existentialist, would ask. He's pretty smart and introspective that way. Whenever I want to feel like a moron I visit his blog. Or pretty much anyplace but here.
But, I visited Musings of an Unapologetic Dreamer and couldn't find it. So, I'm probably wrong. Maybe I saw it on someone else's blog. Or on Twitter. Oh, hell, I can't remember. Like I said, I can be stupid.
Anyway, since I had planned on writing about it here, I'll go right ahead.
For those of you who have been paying attention, you know I was in the U.S. Navy for a few years while I tried to figure out what I was going to do with my life
NOTE: Nine years after retirement, I still haven't figured it out.
|Even though it had wings, it was a boy horse. |
One of my commands was Patrol Squadron Eleven, which flew the P-3C Antisubmarine Warfare turboprop aircraft. I was assigned as an aircrewman to operate acoustic sensor systems onboard the aircraft to search for (primarily) Soviet submarines. I also got airsick, but that's another story.
|"Da, we be for freezings |
with the asses off here."
Historical Note: As you may or may not know, the U.S. closed up shop in Iceland almost ten years
|Besides, the Russians were our friends. |
Yeah, not so much.
Okay, I'm depressed now.
Still...on with the joke.
One of the aircraft systems (aka "MAD-Magnetic Anomaly Detector") used to find submarines exploits the fact that metal submarines (the Polish Navy's experiment with submarines made of Velveeta having gone horribly awry), distort the Earth's magnetic field. The magnetic sensor installed in a long probe at the rear of the aircraft (we called this the "hemorrhoid." Okay, I called this the "hemorrhoid." I don't think anyone else did) detected these distortions.
I gotta take a wicked crap!!"
There was also a urinal (aka "The Pisser." Yeah, we didn't use a whole lot of imagination there) that could be used to take a...uh...piss (I would think the term "pisser" gave it away). Back in the 80s they were made of metal. I think today they're made of heavy duty plastic (damn well better be heavy duty!).
One day (and this is where the magnetic sensor comes in), we managed to talk our most junior pilot into taking the Pisser outside the aircraft and wave it under the MAD boom. That way, the MAD system would detect subtle changes in the Earth's magnetic field and, thus, calibrate our system.
Nobody would have believed that anyone would be that gullible (I know I wouldn't), but thankfully he was and someone took his picture.
|And we won the Cold War. |
Besides, I think I need to use my home's honey bucket.
Which flushes, by the way.