NOTE: As much of a hassle it was to type that link, you'd better click on it. Or lie that you did. Yeah, like I'll know the difference.
NOTE II: I probably could have just copied and pasted that link, huh? Well, click on it anyway.
Jo Anne has an understandable pride in her nation of Australia.
|"Tell me about it. Stud."|
Okay, they know a helluva lot more than that, but this is my blog and I can exaggerate.
Anyway, she wondered how much other folks knew about their countries. So, I thought I'd give it a try and talk a little about today, Presidents Day. Presidents Day came about to recognize all of the United States presidents, not just those glory hogs, Washington and Lincoln.
With that in mind, I'm going to list each president with a quick description of what he's known for.
I can just hear you groan, "Ohhhhhh, crap!!!! This is going to be a long post! I think I'll just go look at something from Dr. Heckle, instead! You're in and out with that guy and you still have time to watch The View!"
WARNING: I didn't research any of the below. In essence going without a net, some of the following will be inaccurate. I also know a lot more about some of the guys than what I write, but this will be long enough. Plus, like I just wrote, I tend to exaggerate. All complaints may be directed to my history teachers in Stratford and Wallingford, Connecticut. Some whom were nuns. So you may not want to pick a fight with them. Nuns are bad-ass.
|"Betcher ass. |
|"I hate you and I hate you. |
And I especially hate Jefferson.
And not just because he likes the French.
Although there is that."
3. Thomas Jefferson: Wrote "all men are created equal." Owned slaves. Yeah.
4. James Madison: War of 1812.
5. James Monroe: Confused with James Madison.
NOTE: This is where I confuse the exact order of who was who. I'll do the best I can. So, don't send hate mail. Like I said, I'm not looking these dudes up.
|Shoulda wore a hat. |
*John Quincy Adams: John Adams son.
*Andrew Jackson: Screwed Indians. And not in a good way.
*William Henry Harrison: Died after catching a cold at his inauguration.
*John Tyler: "I know. Idiot."
*Zachary Taylor: Only president whose first name started with "Z."
*Martin Van Buren: Inspired "Van Buren Boys" on Seinfeld.
*Millard Fillmore: Uh....
*James Polk: Jumped ugly with Mexico. Who's still peeved over losing Hollywood, ese.
NOTE: Back to exact order (I hope)....
14. Franklin Pierce: Uh......
15. James Buchanan: Only president from Pennsylvania.
16. Abraham Lincoln: Shoulda ducked.
17. Andrew Johnson: 1st president to be impeached. Wouldn't be the last.
18. Ulysses S. Grant: I hear he drank.
NOTE: Okay, I've lost the exact order again...
*Benjamin Harrison: Ended Reconstruction. Okay, let's go with that.
*Rutherford B. Hayes: Uh...
*James Garfield: Assassinated. Named after a cat. Or the other
|Seriously, you could swing |
from those things.
*Chester Arthur: Cool whiskers.
NOTE: I think I'm okay from here on out...
23. Grover Cleveland: Fathered a child out of wedlock.
24. William McKinley: Third president to be assassinated. Why don't these guys duck?
25. Theodore Roosevelt: Bully.
26. William H. Taft: Fattest president ever. Take that Grover Cleveland.
|2nd fattest president|
would you want to see him in a Speedo?
28. Woodrow Wilson: Saved the world for democracy. Yeah, that really didn't work out all that well.
29. Warren Harding: Died in office. Wouldn't matter if he ducked.
30. Calvin Coolidge: From Vermont before it was cool. Wait. Is being from Vermont cool?
31. Herbert Hoover: Wrong place, wrong time. Poor bastard.
32. Franklin D. Roosevelt: Elected four times. Wife? Not smokin'.
33. Harry S Truman: Middle name was S, just S.
34. Dwight D. Eisenhower: Golf
|"S didn't stand for anything. |
Isn't that veird?"
36. Lyndon Johnson: Didn't. And she wasn't.
37. Richard Nixon: Had the decency to resign.
38. Gerald Ford: Oops.
39. Jimmy Carter: Had the decency to lose reelection.
40. Ronald Reagan: Puppet in Genesis music video.
|Yeah, there's this, too.|
42. William Clinton: Bubba With a Boner.
43. George W. Bush: Huh?
44. Barack Obama: Makes Watergate, peanuts, and erections look quaint.
So now, in honor of President Taft, I'm going to eat everything in sight.
Except the Vegemite.
I'll leave that to Jo Anne.