Saturday, January 18, 2014

Piece of Cake

NOTE:  The first four paragraphs are merely introduction.  If you're in a hurry and would like to get to the story, see below.

    I draw inspiration for the crap posts you see here from a variety of sources.  Whether from daily events, news stories, bits of lunacy from my brain, carnies, you just never know.  My point is that a post may spring from anywhere at any time.  In other words, today I may not have anything to say.  Tomorrow, I may see a man humping a fish.  You know, "man humping a fish" is kinda catchy.  Like "Jake, from State Farm."
NOTE:  This is a tease for this week's Captain Caption.  You're welcome.
    Sometimes, I draw inspiration from a comment I make on your blogs.  You'll know this is happening
I mean, it's not everyday
you see a man humping a fish.

Yes, I know I've used this picture before.  
The fact that I still have a copy of it 
probably says a lot about me.
when I leave a long comment, usually a story.  When this occurs, I say to myself, "Hey, maybe I can make that into a post all on its own."
    And not have to think of anything else.  I'm lazy that way.
    Occasionally, I'll do something similar when I write on Twitter or Facebook.  So it was a few weeks ago when I responded to a Facebook post by Sherilin, who is author of the Laughing My Abs Off  blog.  I'd leave a link, but since she hasn't written there in several months, I figured I wouldn't.  Still, she's a great FB friend (both with Al and my alter ego.  Or is that with me and my real alter ego, Al?  Crap, now I've gone and confused myself.  Plus, I may have crapped my pants).
    Sherilin was talking about a joke cake she had made/had ordered/had eaten (something-remember this was a few weeks ago and earlier Facebook posts are hard to find).  The cake had some sort of penis thing on it or smegma or erectile dysfunction...  Something like that...
    Anyway, it called to mind a story (well, what doesn't?)...

  For those who didn't bother reading the introduction, but hopefully laughed at the picture, the story begins below...

  Growing up, I had a reputation for being, shall we say,  thrifty.  I don't know why.  Maybe it was because I sloshed through a swamp to get a parking pass for the campground in Virginia Beach so I wouldn't have to pay a dollar for my own.  Or because I drove all the way through Connecticut on Route 1 so I wouldn't have to pay any tolls.  Or because all the guests to my wedding with Mrs. Penwasser #1 had to pay a dollar to attend the ceremony at the Norfolk Botanical Gardens.
Hey, it was 35 cents!
   Okay, so maybe the reputation was deserved.

    A few months after Mrs. Penwassser #1 left me to marry Dennis from HQ (a Virginia Beach Home Improvement Superstore), I moved back to Connecticut for a few months to attend college.  It ended up being a bust, but I enjoyed being with my family.
"Okay, which one of y'all said 'bust'?"
  Anyway, it was mid-September and I volunteered to buy an ice
It wasn't a Cookie Puss cake.
I just like saying cookie puss.
cream cake to celebrate my brother's birthday.  When I got to the Carvel in town, I ordered a cake which would serve eight people.


  When I asked the fresh-faced high school girl to write "It's a Girl!" in pink icing, she cheerfully complied.

  However, when I asked her to then mark an 'X' across it in blue icing, she looked a little confused.  But, not as confused as when I asked her to write "Happy Birthday, Phil!" in little blue letters around the ring of the cake.
NOTE:  Depiction of the first 
Mrs. Penwasser possibly exaggerated.

  When I proudly displayed the cake to my family, I explained to them that the proud parents ended up having a boy, instead.  So, I was able to get the ice cream cake for half off the marked price.



 The Moral of the Story:  Take a reputation and have fun with it.


Another Moral of the Story:  Don't complain if you have to pay admission to a wedding.   

Because ice cream cake is a dish best served cold.

46 comments:

  1. Hahaha! I love that you took some inspiration from my scrotum cake post and showed your true, cheap colors. You are one of a kind Al. Do you also rinse out your coffee filters, hang them to dry, then use them as toilet paper later?

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    Replies
    1. If regular filters aren't on sale.

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    2. Sherilin, I must take a look at your scrotum cake post!

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    3. And I will add that I was just on Sherilin's blog yesterday thinking "I wonder why she doesn't post anymore". And now I know why... she taunting you with cake. :)

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    4. Bryan: if you're Sherilin's Facebook friend, then you can find it. Sadly, she doesn't post on Blogger anymore.
      Juli: I'm fortunate we're friends on FB. Although Sherilin may disagree,

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  2. Okay I don't have that reputation but I'd totally do that to a cake. You were an awesome dude even back then Al.

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    Replies
    1. It happened in 1985. Good grief, I've been this way for a long time.

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  3. Thanks for telling me how to get a bargain on a cake, as if I need more cake.

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  4. Rather than add to your story, I'll tell one of our own. Just before Christmas, Laurie's brother-in-law found some wonderful Christmas "packaging"- a bow that says it contains a "family snuggie" five head-holes, two arm holes, big enough to cover an SUV, with pictures of possible uses all over it (like having 4 people covered in it riding one bike). The inner flaps all say, "You've been pranked", and you can put a somewhat more useful gift inside. Gave it to his stepson and family... you had to see the faces when they unwrapped the "gift" and looked it over. Hook line and sinker, right up until they started to open the box.

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    1. Perfect! One day I'll tell the story how we pranked our brother (not the same one above) with a Christmas present.

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  5. Haha, I love this! I've got a pretty thrifty reputation myself. I'm a lazy, geeky, laid back, tranquil guy. Bill Gates once said "I'd hire a lazy guy to do a hard job, because he'd find an easier way of doing it"

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    1. Hey, if I wasn't so cheap, I wouldn't be the poor man I am today.
      Oh. Wait. That's not right.

      Delete
  6. Hahahaha...you cracked me up on that one. Good joke on your family. Nothing wrong with giving them a dose back...no, not that kind of dose Al! Btw, my absolute favorite commercial on TV is the Jake from State Farm couple. OMG...I almost pee myself when I watch it. His face and her voice... She sounds hideous!!

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    1. If you liked that, Jake from State Farm will be coming to Penwasser Place on Thursday.

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    2. Funny... when I'm on the phone and Tony walks in the room and asks who it is I ALWAYS tell him that it's "Jake... from state farm."

      It's the running joke around here. :)

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  7. the cake part reminds me of the story a few years ago where some parents named their kid Adolf and you don't' have to guess what his middle name was. They wanted his full name on a cake at the supermarket and they refused to do it. But Walmart had no problem decorating it. Seriously.

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    Replies
    1. Not surprising...
      Walmart-the National Punch Line.

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  8. Al, in the UK you'd be referred to as being 'as tight as a gnat's chaff', but nothing wrong with thrift, sir.

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  9. I'd be willing to bet that 'chaff' is a euphemism.

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  10. This made me laugh. I'm all for thriftiness! And now I am craving ice cream cake. Thanks a lot!

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    Replies
    1. Ice cream cake rocks. Unless you don't want rocks.

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  11. haha not sure I'd ever go through a swamp for 35 cents but yeah I can be thrifty indeed too. Cake is cake, no matter what is says looks the same when you crap your pants

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  12. Hey, it was real money. Well, not really.

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  13. Hot Cookie in the Castro (San Francisco) has chocolate-covered penis cookies. Thought you'd want to know in case you ever visit.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. That depends...how much?
      And would I want to slosh through a swamp to get a couple?

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    2. I don't remember how much they cost and The Castro doesn't have a swamp. It has lots of really good looking gay men and some who are not so good looking and some who are not gay, such as The Hurricane's boyfriend. I suppose some women live there, too.

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    3. I remember how three of us wandered into a gay bar once in Washington. It was on Connecticut Avenue (how ironic, that) and was called 'Rascals.' I doubt that it's still there. As one of our group went to the restroom, I looked around. I then told my other friend, "I think this is a gay bar."
      "How do you know?"
      "Well, there are only two women here."
      "Yeah, so?"
      "They're with each other."
      "Oh."
      As soon as our other friend returned from the bathroom (with a very worried look on his face), we got out of there.
      Make no mistake, I couldn't care less who anyone chooses as their dancing partner. I just like women. It's just a pity that most of them never really liked me.
      Hey, I think we just witnessed the birth of another post (like i was talking about above!).

      Delete
  14. I like the way you think, a cake like that would be fun and cool and if it is ice cream cake yummy

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  15. Nothing wrong with being thrifty, and it's way too much fun playing it up for a laugh. We've had a running joke in our family for years about the boxes I use over and over and over again for Christmas gifts each year. Multiple tears and scraps of yellowed tape on them, names written on them in pencil from long ago. But, by golly, they're wrapped up all nice and pretty. (Except for an occasional chewed ribbon if one of our cats finds the stash of presents.)

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    1. I love it when families have traditions/stories that go way, way back to even before nieces and nephews (and now grandchildren) were born.
      My cake tale is one such example.

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  16. Love the cake story! Was the first Mrs. Penwasser discounted due to her slight tooth problem?

    Julie

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  17. That's the moral of the story? That's not how moral-of-stories work, buddy! You've got to explain how enhancing your reputation for thriftiness brought you fame, wealth and the love of beautiful women. Then you've got a moral!

    The first Mrs Penwasser is the most attractive woman I've ever seen whose great grandfather was a shark.

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    1. Fame, wealth, beautiful women...
      only got one out of three.
      It really is too bad that Mrs. Penwasser II doesn't read this.

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  18. Thrifty people used to annoy me. Especially so if it cost me money...

    Great post and the ending was really good!

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  19. This picture disproves the saying, "Cold as a fish."
    I love cake stories. So many neat sayings can go on top of a cake.

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  20. Jake from State Farm brings to mind my daughter's best friend. Her brother changed every single one of her phone contacts to Jake from State Farm. That happened long ago and it still makes me laugh when I think of it.
    I bet you made a good story for that girl to tell. "We had this weirdo come into the shop today and order this really weird cake."

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  21. Ugh! Don't get me started on Jake from State Farm! He now rifles through my refrigerator with mindless abandon like he lives here. Eats dinner here 4 times a week and doesn't put his plate in the dishwasher. Now I know why there are laws cuz he be dead in a different world!
    Hubba hubba on the ex. Sucks losing something that fine!

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    Replies
    1. She gave great h...actually, no. No she didn't.

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