Friday, November 15, 2013

It's a Shame

Now, more than ever, I mourn the loss of Chris Farley.

Can you imagine how frikkin' epic he'd be as Toronto Mayor Rob Ford on Saturday Night Live?

"Don't tell Richard Simmons about the crack I have."

Ditto John Candy.  
He'd probably be even funnier since he was Canadian.

But, yeah, he's assumed room temperature, too

Hey, wait a minute.  Maybe John Belushi can play the...oh, crap.

Never got over the Death of Disco.
Or all that coke.

Maybe Drew Carey can play hizzoner.  
After all, he was kinda beefy.

"I lose 100 pounds and the chicks will be all over me!
Probably should ditch the glasses, though."

Sure, he'll do just f...WHAT!?

Shit

Dammit, where'd all the fat guys go?

"Listen, for a dozen glazed, I could help you out.
They don't need me in Trenton.  The Mob can take care of things."

Screw it.  
Let's just think about how good Chris Farley would have been.

"OMIGOD! OMIGOD! OMIGOD!
Did someone say 'crack!?'"

54 comments:

  1. Canada, the country that brought the world instant mashed potatoes. And then you have the Mayor of Toronto who has made the Brits aware there is a place called Canada. Not necessarily good publicity, eh.

    We wont mention Justin Bieber is Canadian and the biggest crack going. Get enough instant mashed potatoes down him and hey, he might give "Ballpark Figure", a whole new meaning...

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    Replies
    1. Bieber may be Canadian, but he's staying here. At least you gave Madonna back (wish you hadn't).

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  2. Farley would be the bomb playing this yoyo. Perfect. Too bad he is gone. All the great ones too. I miss them. Thank God for old film.

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  3. I wish I had a good retort for where all the fat guys went, but all I have to say is do you ever get to Portland, Oregon?

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    Replies
    1. I seriously would like to visit Oregon one day. I hear it rains there.

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  4. he would be perfect

    soon Rob Ford will be living in a van down by the river

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's EXACTLY the type of skit I pictured Farley doing.

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  5. There is still Louie Anderson.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I forgot about him, although he doesn't portray the out-of-control freak that Farley did.
      I do still quote Louie's take on the All-You-Can-Eat Chinese restaurant:
      "Fat Boy! You been here foh hour!!"

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    2. I've never seen Louie do that. John Pinette is famous for that skit. Now HE'S funny! But yeah, Chris Farley would have made a great Rob Ford!

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    3. Maybe Louie didn't....? I seem to recall that he did. But, I've been wrong before. regardless, it cracks me up.

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    4. You are right-it IS John Pinette. I just watched it on You Tube. OMG that is funny. I'm thinking about sending it to my nephew-in-law, who is Chinese. I'm not sure I want the Chinese hacked off at me, though, so I'll keep it to myself.

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  6. Hahahaha, it's so nice that Canada is getting some attention for once. :P

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    Replies
    1. Sometime this week, I'm going to point out how over-matched Canada is compared to the U.S. You have one waste of skin. We have Hollywood and Washington.
      We win (?).

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  7. Chris Farley would have rocked the part. How about...um...Jack Black? Jonah Hill? There's a guy with curly hair, but I can't remember. Yeah, that's the ticket.

    The Warrior Muse

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    Replies
    1. Jack Black could do it, but, strangely enough, he doesn't have the huge gut which I think would be required.
      Jonah Hill may be too young.

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  8. I actually didn't know Drew Carrey lost a lot of weight. Good for him. I believe there are already Rob Ford sketches on SNL but I've got no idea who they've got playing him. Ford is probably insane enough to play himself or make it fine for you to just use actual footage of him.

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    Replies
    1. Isn't that something about Drew Carey? I've no doubt that SNL is already doing parodies and I'll check them out. But, it's too bad we lost Chris.

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  9. Every single time I watch Planes Trains and Automobiles, I feel sad about John Candy - what a man x

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    Replies
    1. That part where he's driving the wrong way on the highway ALWAYS cracks me up.
      And my nieces and nephews call my brother "Uncle Buck."
      A talented, talented man (John Candy, not my brother. Although my brother is no slouch).

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  10. I really do miss Chris Farley a lot. Loved his Matt Foley motivational speaker role on SNL. Hilarious!

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  11. maybe Eddie Murphy... he played big guys and loves wearing masks :)

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  12. Fat Ford makes me turn the channel immediately. I think no representation would be the best. :)

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  13. Mike Myers in his austin powers fat suit, that would do it.

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    Replies
    1. But, Fat Bastard lost all that weight.

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    2. But at the end of the movie, he mentions he has a vagina on his neck -- isn't that exactly what Rob Ford just told us he has readily available at home?

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    3. That's soooo funny. I was going to write how he said 'vagina.' Then, I heard Mrs. Penwasser coming home from the gym so I deleted it. Didn't feel like answering questions why I had 'vagina' on my computer. True story.

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  14. All the funny fat guys went to heaven or skinny hell...................

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  15. It's a shame that these lads aren't around to play the mayor haha, he's such a weird guy, just insane the things he's been getting up to recently.

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    Replies
    1. And today the Toronto City Council stripped him of most of his powers. Which is good. Because they were thinking of stripping him of his trousers.

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  16. Chris Farley would've been perfect. Not Drew Carey. He's boring. I don't understand why he's done so well. Then there's Big Mama. She's still alive. She could play him. I don't know who she is, actually. I just saw a blog post on her. I think the Mayor is running in circles with his sudden fame. Only he can't run very fast, unless you hold a donut in front of him, glazed with crack.

    xoRobyn

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    Replies
    1. I think Big Momma was played by Martin Lawrence (if that's the one you're thinking of). Not a lot of Drew Carey fans here (that includes me).

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  17. Too funny. So sad though that we are looking at this for comical value. Really, there is something so pathetically sad about an elected official who is in charge of making sure a city runs smoothly that the excuse "I was so wasted and drunk I shouldn't be held accountable for smoking CRACK."

    He's worse than congress.

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  18. You mention some great comics who have left us. They are certainly missed! (And even the governor of NJ is losing weight! ) Drew Carey is no a favorite of mine, however.

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    1. I agree with you about Drew Carey. Not a big fan.

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  19. You know, I watched bits and pieces of this skit last night and I didn't think about it then, but you're right!! Farley would have been perfect. Love him in Tommy Boy!! Like several above, Drew was never one of my favorite's. I don't even like him on Price is Right.

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    Replies
    1. I saw what SNL did and it was good. But, Farley would have knocked it out of the park.

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  20. Yep! Chris Farley would be perfect! That mayor is a piece of work. It makes me wonder how such a tool got elected in the first place.

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    Replies
    1. I know. I only thought people in the U.S. did that.

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  21. Chris Farley in a Van Living Down by the River would have fuckin NAILED IT!!!

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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    Replies
    1. Which is probably where hizzoner will end up.

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  22. Chris Farley would have been perfect. Maybe Tom Ford can play himself in the movie.

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    Replies
    1. Well, he may be out of job soon. Who knows? From what I read, he's popular with Canadians who need some diversion from the fact that it's going to get awful cold soon.

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  23. I agree that Chris Farley would have done the best job. John Candy was my favorite, but Ford reminds me more of Farley's character who lived in a trailer down by the river (as pictured).

    Julie

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    Replies
    1. I liked John Candy much better, but I think Farley had that perfect "over the top" personality that would have been tailor-made. I just read an article which said Farley could have also played that lunatic from the Dolphins. True that.

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  24. Did you see Mayor Simmons angrily deny that he told a woman he wanted to eat her p***y? How could anyone say that with a straight face? Well, maybe John Candy could have, but that would have made it even funnier.

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    Replies
    1. I'm amazed that SOMEone actually agreed to marry him.

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