Sunday, November 10, 2013

It's Beginning To Look a Lot Like Hallowmas

   Manzanita from Wanna Buy a Duck commented a few days ago on my post concerning Santa coming down my chimney (that is still a chilling thought, mind you).  Anyway, I answered her by recalling a conversation Mrs. Penwasser and I had the weekend before Halloween.  We were driving to BJ's Warehouse to pick up some essentials:  five gallon cans of Beefaroni, a cheesecake that could feed twenty-five, a kayak, a 10 CD Tony Robbins motivational set, a couple dozen English cucumbers ("They're Burpless!"), a carton of razors, and a set of tires.
 
She never thinks my BJ jokes are funny.

   
Along the way, I commented how people were putting up their Christmas lights earlier and earlier.

"Can you believe what I just saw?"

"SIGH...something for that blog of yours?"

"Well...yes.  But, actually, someone had their lights up already!"

"Maybe they never took them down."

"No, these ones were lit!"

"They could be Halloween lights you know."

"But those are just orange and white."

"Why not orange, white, and black?"

"Think about what you just said...black lights?"

"Oh."

"Anyway, I like Halloween displays.  Those are cool.  In fact, I think there's one of those down the street.  What I'm talking about are displays with red, green, and blue lights.  On a tree!  Before Veterans Day!"

"Well, don't be such a sour puss.  If people want to put lights up, let 'em.  Who made you King of Holiday Displays?"

Note:  I would sooo put in a resume for that job.

"I henceforth decree that Christmas lights can only be displayed from Thanksgiving
until you stop saying 'Happy New Year!'
Menorahs are cool, although somebody needs to tell me when Hanukkah is.
It's like Easter with you people, you never know when it will be.
Kwanzaa!?  Are you effin' kidding me!?
 Now let's eat!"

"Well, I don't think it's right, that's all."

"Well, you're just an old crab."

"Look!  That's what I was talking about!"

[pointing at the Halloween display of which I spoke]

[Without looking] "Congratulations!  You win!"

"No, it's a Halloween one!"
NOTE:  May also be Dick Cheney's house.
"Oh, that is neat.  But, you're still an old crab."


We ended up buying an artificial tree at BJ's.

Humbug.



41 comments:

  1. She doesn't think BJ jokes are funny? What's the world coming to? The public Christmas lights in my town are up already but they won't be lit until the 22nd. We don't really have a day where it suddenly becomes okay to put your lights up. I can't remember if it's Veterans Day or Thanksgiving with you guys but from the sounds of it it's Thanksgiving. Or it used to be.

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    1. And she never thinks "pull my finger" is a laugh riot, either.

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    2. Oh, I forgot....
      MOST people put their lights up on Thanksgiving weekend (we do) and take them down around New Years.
      As for the Penwasser house, Thanksgiving weekend BUT they come down NLT December 27th.
      Me (December 27th): "That's it!! Those frikkin' things are coming down right now! I'm getting sick of looking at them!!"
      Me (December 31st...after a couple bottles of wine): "Aww, I wish we had kept the-BURP!!-Chrishmish lights up thish year becuzz...uh...ooh, look! Pretty lights at the neighbors...THEY kept them up....hey?? Where ya goin' with that pizza...I need to watch Dick Clark because....whut?...he's dead? Aw, crap! Now what am I go...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."
      It's a holiday tradition!

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  2. Oh King of Holiday Displays..... Black lights....LOL they really light up one's world. We don't have BJ's.... must be like Costco. I also bought fruit trees there last spring. One stop fits all. Cheney's all over the TV advertising his book. He's delusional ..... thinks he was always a cuddly fuzzy wuzzy. (his words) Kwanzaal?????
    Happy Veterans Day.

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    Replies
    1. BJs is exactly the same thing as Costco. Except I can't make fun of Costco's name.

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  3. We're lucky if we put our tree up before Christmas Eve.

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    1. That used to be the tradition. Mrs. Penwasser said that's what her family did. And took it down on January 6th (which I think is Epiphany...? Oh, the nuns would beat the crap out of me for not knowing that).

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  4. I don't know about having Halloween displays too haha, it just causes too much confusion since Christmas celebrations aren't always long coming, for some reason I almost dread Christmas this year a little, I don't even know why, I'm just not that excited I guess!

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    1. I like Christmas, if only because it takes my mind off how frikkin' cold it is. Then, comes January...and February.....
      Ohhhhh..........

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  5. Those are some cool Halloween lights! Some people in my neighborhood do this as well. As far as my Christmas lights, they went up last Sunday LOL.

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    1. Some folks really go nuts around here. You should see some of the Christmas decorations, though. Maybe I'll post some of the more garish displays. It's like Clark Griswold Christmas lights (if you don't know-what American doesn't?-Google "Griswold Christmas lights").

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  6. oh, the electricity used for lighting up that house could power whole Somalia, methinks....

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  7. I passed by three houses last week that had Christmas decorations and lights out. So wrong.
    People should keep the orange lights out and decorate their yards with turkeys for Thanksgiving. Not my yard, mind you. Theirs. And preferably not my neighbor.

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    1. I saw this HUGE blowup turkey in some guy's front yard yesterday. Sure, it was garish, but it didn't "prematurely holiday."

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  8. I might extend, my liege, the removal deadline to January 6th to cover Epiphany, but I vow to serve.

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    1. You're right about January 6th. In fact, I was going to write that in the caption, but I didn't think a lot of people would get it (they should). Like I told Dana, that was what Mrs. Penwasser's family did. MY family took them down around January 1st. I take them down on or about December 27th. Gotta get ready for Kwanzaa, ya know.

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  9. haha wow you remembered the conversation word for word? Impressive. I can see people putting them up before the snow comes in and they freeze their arse off doing so, but turning them on, hmmm, yeah wait a bit. But if the wait, freeze their buttt off in the cold, blue balls come a ringing, they can go to bjs to warm up.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, how 'bout that? The kids are always amazed at the truly nonsensical conversations Mrs. Penwasser and I have.

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  10. my brother's house had the halloween lights this year. I never even have the xmas one, too lazy to do it.

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    1. The Halloween displays are pretty neat. All we have are plastic pumpkins, though. Pretty lame.

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  11. I think you may be low-balling your Beefaroni needs.

    I loved that you'd put your resume in for the king of the holiday displays! I think I'd have to opt for lackey/crony for the king of holiday displays. I'm not good at being in charge.

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  12. I thought you were King of Holidays. Did you get a "genuine" artificial tree?

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    Replies
    1. At least it wasn't aluminum. We had one of those horror stories when I was a kid. A repost next month tells that tale.

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  13. I'll never understand the Jewish calendar thing. All I know is that Hanukah won't overlap with Thanksgiving again for another 77,789 years.

    BJs has fake bushes? They fake it there? It must been an exclusively female-run business.

    xoRobyn

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    1. It's probably like Easter. Which is the first Sunday after a full moon following the vernal equinox.
      Or when the calendar says.

      Delete
  14. I suppose it doesn't help that while cleaning out the garage today I put the evergreens in the window boxes on the house. I know it's a bit early, but with the mes in the garage lately I may not find them again by Thanksgiving.

    Course, I'm also done with my shopping...

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  15. I love Halloween displays, too, although I don't do one.

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    1. We never did HUGE Halloween displays, although I like them, too. But, this year all we did was put up a plastic pumpkin on the porch which blew over a week before for Halloween.
      It wasn't until I picked up to take it down to the cellar that I noticed it had a light bulb in it.
      Hmm, maybe next year.

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  16. I noticed the other day at the local WalMart had all the Christmas stuff out the day after Halloween. What happened to Turkey Day!!!! We too put our Christmas décor up the weekend of Thanksgiving and they come down around New Years. Did someone say cheesecake? Mmmmm cheeessseeecakeee.

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    Replies
    1. I know exactly what you mean because....oh, you said cheesecake.
      Oh. Yeah. Cheesecake.

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  17. No BJs jokes? Mrs. P isnt from NJ is she?

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    1. Oh no, she's a gentile Southern belle from Virginia.

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  18. I went to the grocery store two days before Halloween, and they had removed a bunch of the Halloween stuff already and had a set of shelves full of Christmas stuff. BEFORE Halloween! And the Christmas carols started several days ago. I'm lacking a sense of humor about it at the moment, but give me a couple days. ;)

    The Warrior Muse

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    1. And valentines stuff will start appearing on shelves the last week of December.
      The circle of Commercialized Life, I suppose.

      Delete
  19. You crack me up. Black Friday for me will be Christmas Friday - I'm having the kids decorate outside and going to get a tree and put it up. I like to leave the tree up until New Years Day because I like the tree lights for my birthday (New Year's Eve).

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    1. We use to do that when we were kids. But, a couple days after Christmas, I channel my inner "cranky old man" and take it all down.

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  20. Round here, the Christmas store displays are up by Halloween. That's crazy!
    We're going to be out of town and return home on the 20th of December. I say that's too late to decorate the outside of the house. My wife says it isn't.
    On Halloween (during the day) my wife and I went to a friends house to put up some blinds for her. Much to my total amazement, she already had her Christmas tree up and fully decorated. That is just crazy!

    In a former life, I once left my Christmas tree up until July 14th. You can tell what "life" it was by what my friends said about it. Things like "trippy" or "far out" or "you got any fritos?" One wet blanket of a friend said, "what the F is wrong with you? Don't you know that's a fire hazard?"

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