This verse from Psalm 107 doesn't sound nearly as dirty as "Those Who Go Down to the Sea ON Ships."
Although it may account for all the seamen.
Anyway, it's a slow day. I'm in Virginia once again. You see, I'm taking my son back to Virginia Tech. It will be his senior year and by May, he'll be off the payroll. What's more, he's accepted a job in Virginia Beach which starts next summer so I'll have another place to stay when I go on vacation.
So, yeah, I'm pretty psyched.
Since I've been pretty busy, I thought I'd give you an excerpt from my Work In Progress (or, to use the pretentious "Writer-Speak" acronym: my "WIP"), It's Not Just a Job-or...INJAJ (hey, these acronyms work)
instead of writing anything new. Planned for release sometime before I die (CAUTION: My mortality is closer than I think), it's the tale of my close to 30 years in the Navy. Although I could have gone the serious route, I chose not to because...well...have you been paying attention to Penwasser Place? I really don't do serious.
My intention is that INJAJ easily exceeds sales of my previous work, Shag Carpet Toilet (available now on Kindle and Nook! Get yours now!! While an unlimited amount still remain!!!).
And, by easily exceed, I mean ten.
|"Sharp end of the spear, eh? |
Well, we did sing In the Navy."
I'm not sure how many other navies do this. Maybe the French, although they probably hit each other with pastries. Or the Iranians, except they more than likely behead someone.
In any case, hope you enjoy. Hey, it's Sunday so you may as well (if nothing else, you can look up Psalm 107)...
16 JUN 1977
USS AMERICA (CV-66)
|My first ship. |
Commissioned in 1965, decommissioned in 1996, torpedoed a few years after that.
The intention was to evaluate our weapons' effectiveness against an aircraft carrier.
My guess is they worked.
Because she's now a reef.
Although that red line
confuses the hell out of the fish.
My scullery* crew was full of questions about one of the leading
|"I don't know about this, Stavros. |
I think the Turks are gonna kick our ass.
Speaking of ass..."
We’d heard all sorts of wild tales from puffed-up shellbacks who tried to intimidate us. Even though we were sure they were exaggerating, there had to be a perfectly good reason why we stopped tossing our trash overboard the past three days.
As with all things, from what our working hours were to how we were going to get paid, we sought out the Wardroom Leading Petty Officer, Mess Management Specialist First Class (MS1) Angelo Abunzallah.
NOTE: "Mess Management Specialist" was the Navy's politically-correct term for "cook." Now they're called "Culinary Specialists." We also call "Garbage Men" "Sanitation Engineers." As the man said to a handful of razor blades before he swallowed them, "I shit you not."
During a quiet period between late breakfast and early lunch, my friend Brian and I scoured the spaces for our supervisor. We finally found him hunched over what appeared to be a tense game of Acey-Deucey** in the cooks’ lounge.
NOTE: See what I did there? I wrote "cooks." Screw political-correctness.
Stepping over the knee-knocker*** into what we mess cooks called “Little Manila,” all chatter ceased as a dozen set of eyes stared at us. Abunzallah, a pair of dice gripped tightly in his hand, glared at us.
From the looks of his board, he was getting soundly whipped by Chief Santiago.
“What you shitbirds want?” he growled.
I cleared my throat, “We were wondering what was going to happen to us tomorrow, MS1.”
His face brightened. He smiled broadly, revealing a gold-capped tooth swimming under the few wisps of black hair on his upper lip. “Oh, that’s easy, boddy.”
|"Oh, Penwasser, we sooo gonna puck you up."|
Then he cackled like a Filipino chicken.
I have to admit, MS1 was pretty much on the ball with that one. Although, he missed one small detail.
We started getting our asses kicked before we even got to the flight deck.
|Dumbasses on the Titanic probably |
wished they had a couple of these.
Although they played hell with shins.
** A form of backgammon
***Since we were on a ship, which could sink, the door frame did not go all the way to the deck (floor). That way, any water would remain where it was and not flood any adjacent space.
To be continued....