Tuesday, July 23, 2013

I Won't Hold My Breath

    Since I got stiffed for the Royal Wedding, I don't think an invitation to the Royal Christening will be coming anytime soon.

    Still, I better find my passport and get my powder-blue tux dry cleaned.

    You never know.

"Penwasser....Penwasser.  Wills, isn't he the chap who makes fun of your stepmum?"
"You know, I do believe you're right!  No invitation to the Royal Baptism for that bloke!"
"Quite."
"Still, she is a bit of a beast."

41 comments:

  1. At least when you poke fun at someone, you're honest.

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  2. I DID get an invitation to the christening but I've decided not to go. Bit I will be sending twenty bucks for the kids education. You can't get ahead anymore without a proper education and I know my twenty will be put to good use.

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    1. You should get him a Savings Bond. Those things are like money in the bank. You can ALWAYS count on the U.S. governm...hmm...maybe you should get him gold instead? Or something from Wal-Mart?

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  3. There may be an opening for you if you know how to change diapers and can pretend royal poop smells good.

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  4. The cat got an invite, but the litterbox was dirty and he had go bad. I guess he just wanted to rip the piss

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  5. It's a good idea to keep the suit on just in case. With the greatest honour and respect intended I'd hire you to double as a chief of security and royal jester rolled into one because damnit Al if there's two things you are it's competent and funny.

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    Replies
    1. Any good excuse to come and visit.....

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  6. Is it mean that I hope their baby is hideous!?!

    I'm just kidding. I know it's mean. I just don't care.

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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    Replies
    1. Read the comment below about Granddad's ears.
      The thought occurred to me, as well.
      Luckily, they don't have to worry all that much about inbreeding anymore.

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  7. Replies
    1. Thanks. Same to you. It's kinda quiet around here. Maybe I should set something on fire...?

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  8. I love how they're not ready with a name. Seriously you had at least 9 months to think this out. Watch all that time they spend come up with something like John or David.

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    1. Apparently, now it's George. Too bad Wills wasn't called George.
      Then, at family get-togethers at the palace, he could point at the baby and say, "I did that! Yep. By George."

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  9. They just better hope he doesn't get Grandpa's ears.

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    Replies
    1. Especially since he still needs them.

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    2. I would put them in a necklace of diamonds.

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  10. Hey, you never know. You could end up with an invite and you need to have a christening present ready. I recommend a diamond encrusted pacifier.

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  11. Just name him royal and call it a day

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    1. Royal Windsor?
      Sounds like a porn star.

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  12. Our wedding invitation got lost in the mail, too. As for the baby? Woo hoo. (If I knew how to make that lettering teeny tiny, I would. You'll just have to use your imagination.) I'm sincerely glad the royal baby's healthy, but our 13th grandchild (also a boy) is due any day now, and I'm more psyched about that baby's debut. Okay, so there won't be any cannon fire or excited crowds waiting outside the hospital when he pops out, but at least HE has a name ready and waiting for him. Poor thing. Atlas. Yeah, I know. (At least it isn't Thesaurus...)

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    1. Wouldn't it be frikkin' EPIC if his last name was 'Shrugged?'

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  13. The invites were not lost... I'm hoarding them.

    It's what all the cool mail carriers do. :)

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    Replies
    1. That's what Newman says, anyway.

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    2. *squints eyes* NEWman.... :)

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  14. If you don't get the invite and the powder blue tux is clean, you could always be a lawyer, like My Cousin Vinny.

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  15. If I hear anymore about the royal baby I'll go plum-crazy!

    Although someone having a pop is refreshing.

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  16. Oh well you will have to watch it on the telly like the rest of us who will not be invited...........if they wanted a small christening they could just invite those who like his step mum that will narrow it down a lot I am sure............lol

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    1. I hope it's on Pay-Per-View.
      Unless Mixed Martial Arts is on, instead.
      Gotta keep my priorities, don'tcha know?

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  17. Never knew she was pregnant! I would have used a condom. Don't want any Bushman in that Royal blood ya know. Well I do but they don't! Giggity!

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    Replies
    1. I guess Wills was doing more than keeping a stiff upper lip.

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  18. I still think you would make a delightful Royal Manny!

    Julie

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    Replies
    1. It's just that Mary Poppins won't let me borrow her damn umbrella.
      Or, as they call it over there, a "brolly" or a "bumbershoot."
      Geez, it's like those English people think they invented the frikkin' language.

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  19. Good heavens, the poor woman is married to a chipmunk. And by George, who's the daddy?

    Actually, we are sending the whole Royal lot over to your house, human Al. We just know how much y'all just lurve the Royal Family.

    Pawsitive wishes,

    Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar.

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    Replies
    1. Whew! Thanks for giving me a heads-up! I've gotta run to the grocery store to pick up a few things. Do you think they like potato salad?
      Plus, I think I can get a 30-pak of Bud Lite on sale. It's in cans, though.

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  20. You think you got stiffed? I didn't get one and I'm related! I'm sure that little turd even bumped me back a notch on the the line of succession to the throne! I'm probably about 275,000th now!

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