Saturday, May 25, 2013

She Reminds Me of Me


"Hey, didja hear they're making a remake with Jeff Bridges in your role?"
"They had to, dumbass.  I die in 1979."
"Oh...yeah.  Well, they could have used me.  Why'd they use Matt Damon instead of me?"
"Well, first, Glen, you'll be too old.  Plus, you suck."  

  In the 1969 movie, True Grit (for which John Wayne won his only Academy award for Best Actor With an Eye Patch), Rooster Cogburn (played by the aforementioned Mr. Wayne) is standing on a ferryboat (as opposed to a fairyboat.  That goes from Provincetown to Boston), with Texas Ranger La Boeuf (played by Glen Campbell, who did not win for Best Actor with a Cowlick).  
    Rooster is admiring the daring of waif Mattie Ross (played by Kim Darby, who should have won for Best Actress Who Most Resembles Justin Beiber) as she crosses some river in Arkansas (I think.  Who the frik knows?) while desperately trying to remain on top of her horse (this would sound way dirty in Tijuana).
    
    Rooster smiles and says, "She reminds me of me."

NOTE:  Please excuse my liberal use of all those parentheses.  I had a whole bunch left over from the A-Z Challenge and I needed to get rid of them before the end of the month.


"So, that's what more than one of us is called.
I always thought it was platypusses."
    So it is with Valerie Nunez from the aptly named blog, Valerie Nunez and the Flying Platypi.  She really does remind me of me.  Except she's attractive, young, smart, doesn't scare small children, and isn't perched on a toilet on the curb.  

    At least I don't wear an eyepatch.

    Yet.

    If you like the kind of stuff you find here, you need professional help you'll love the goings-on over at her place.

   Her commentary is often hilarious of a make-you-laugh-out-loud-so-much-that-milk-comes-flying-out your-nose-which-makes-Mrs. Penwasser-scream-"I'M-NOT-CLEANING-THAT-MESS-UP-YOU-KNOW!"

    Without the Mrs. Penwasser part.

    Plus, she has pictures.  Quite a few pictures.  With captions.  Now that's right up my alley (NOTE:  Often heard in a gay bar).  And probably yours (NOTE:  Often heard in a swinger's club).

    Let's face it, pictures grab your attention.  And pictures with
Or baboons.
captions tend to make you keep reading.  And pictures of monkeys smoking cigars make you laugh, even though they have nothing whatsoever to do with what you're reading.


    Thanks to the A-Z Challenge, I have more than just a bunch of parentheses laying around.  I was also fortunate to be visited by Valerie which caused me to return the favor.  

    I'm glad I did.  I have yet to find a clunker, unlike the occasional goose egg you'll find here.  One of them, a post about how how she wishes she were a phone virus, was so funny I avoided drinking milk.  

  And put up with the hassle of typing in the link so you could automatically go to it.  If for nothing else, have a look at how she handles a wrong number.  You'll learn a lot about Pluto.

  Apparently, it's no longer a planet.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mickey Mouse's dog.  I get it.
But, at least my name doesn't make middle school boys laugh.
Like Uranus."

 
"Why do you use Word Verification, why???
And there's still no pictures in 50 Shades of Gray!!!"
 
  The only downside to her blog is that she uses those pain in the ass word verifications if you want to leave a comment.  I really don't know why those of you who use them insist on doing so.  Something to do about being a robot.  Like Al Gore.

  Anyway, do yourself a favor and have a look at her blog.  I don't often recommend blogs, but when I do, I recommend Valerie Nunez and the Flying Platypi.

"Stay laughing, my friends."

    

35 comments:

  1. I will check out the blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If nothing else, check out the phone virus one. I can't wait to get a wrong text so I can string the person along like Valerie did.

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  2. To avoid spam, moderate all comments on posts older than a month and tell blogger the spam ones are spam. Works like a charm. Did Kim Darby ever get naked in a film role? Just asking.

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    1. That's what I do and I stopped getting ads for penis pumps. I mean, how many do you really need anyway?
      I think Kim Darby was in another movie. She may have been nude, but....oh...ewwwww.

      Delete
    2. Wait... You can moderate comments on posts older than a month old?!? Shit man, I feel like I've been lied to all this year!! I hate that stupid verification thingy, but I hate those anonymous comment thing even more. Such jerks they are.

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    3. HA!!!! I figured it out!!!! I AM THE SMARTEST PERSON ALIVE!!!!!

      Oh... Uh... Thanks guys!!! ;0)

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  3. I love Val, she's the awesomest! And yes, I did make up a word just to describe her :D

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    1. Ain't she the coolest? And, you know, I think I met you because of her. So you have her to blame.

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    2. I'm so happy to have made this connection... You're welcome, guys. You're welcome. ;0)

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  4. A female version of you? I'm trying to imagine what that would look like. I'll hop over to her blog to have a look.

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  5. She sounds like a pretty awesome person. Pictures, especially those with funny captions, can help break up a long post and keep people amused really.

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    1. I first look at pictures to try and decide whether I want to keep reading. Some blogs are so riveting that they don't need them though.

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  6. Could have used Will Smith for that role and maybe Tommy Lee Jones? Oh wait...nah... what the hell go for it!

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    1. That actually would be inspired casting. I assume you mean Tommy Lee should be Rooster?

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  7. Took a look and added her to my reader. Hope though she can rethink the captchas.
    Looking forward to reading her next post.
    (Although you are still more awesome in my book)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awwww....thanks. She really is quite good.

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  8. Sounds like a place to go and visit indeed. Although that stupid word verification crap, needs to take a nap

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The words do look fuzzy
      until they look blurry.
      It gets me in a tizzy
      if I'm in a hurry.

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  9. I've got to check her blog, sounds good to me for sure Al. I've never seen the original True Grit before, but I have heard that the remake is better than the original which is like the rarest thing considering all these crappy remakes which I fully expect you to mock in your reply to me haha.

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    Replies
    1. I actually liked the John Wayne version better. Although the Jeff Bridges one was pretty good, if taken on its own merits. Some remakes are better than their originals....Bad News Bears, and The Alamo (the original was also a John Wayne movie) come to mind. Others were schlock dreadful. Planet of the Apes and the Poseidon Adventure also come to mind.

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  10. I'll follow her sight-unseen at your recommendation. If you lied, I want part of your kickback for pimping her.

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    Replies
    1. Funny. I don't think she's aware of all this hoopla going on in her behalf.

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  11. Thanks for pointing out this blog, even though I've yet to encounter a clunker on your site.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for that. I've had a couple of "PU" posts, unfortunately.

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  12. Ok ok I will go and check her out like she really wants to hear from me but you have ordered me to do so and I follow orders well I follow the ones I want to and the other well I just pretend I didn't hear ya...........lol

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    Replies
    1. And, when you do, tell her Al sent you.

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  13. Whoa. Whoa. WHOA. Small children find me terrifying!! Seriously! TERRIFYING!

    Ok... Not really. BUT I have now made it my life's mission to find a toilet on a curb and perch upon it!! So that's something, right??

    And lastly, I am quite honored that I remind you of you. Because you, sir, are the cat's meow! Thank you so much for the mad props. Also, if you know how to deter the anonymous comments without using that stupid log in thing, please let me know. They. Are. Driving. Me. Mad. Help me, Al Penwasser... You're my only hope...

    Mad hugs!

    Valerie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I even know from which movie that comes.
      The inner nerd is strong within me.

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  14. She's a female Al Penwasser. We're twice blessed and triply scared. Thanks for the referral, Al.

    On the note of Uranus...I was shown pictures of my insides when I came through my recent surgery. One of them looked like a planet. Uranus, perhaps? No, my uterus. Sorry. Had to do it, and do it here. =)

    xoRobyn

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  15. Uterus. What a cool name for a planet that would be......

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    Replies
    1. It could birth it's own moons!!! And have a volcano that looks like a vagina!!

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  16. I'll take your word for it and check her out!

    I had to wear an eye patch for a while. It sucked because it kept mussing my pretty eyelashes...

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