Monday, April 29, 2013

Yellow Ribbon


'Y' is for Yellow Ribbon


    Think about all those ribbon magnets you see gracing the backs of cars, right beneath the "My Kid Beats Up Your Kid the Honors Student" ones. 




    The colors, and the causes they represent, are as varied as a bag
"Coprophlia, coprophilia...
Penwasser doth protest too much, methinks."
of M & Ms (and less fattening).  There's even one which uses a jigsaw puzzle for Autism Awareness.  All the colors of the rainbow are taken, even Brown for "Coprophilia Awareness."


NOTE:  This is the second time I've mentioned "coprophilia" for the A-Z Challenge.  That has to be a record.  If you haven't already, Google "coprophilia" to see how funny that line was.  And how much I need professional psychiatric attention.

    None of this is meant to denigrate any of the worthy causes for which those ribbons champion (well, except maybe the brown one.  Which doesn't exist.  I hope.). 

  No, I'd just like to explain where the practice of affixing ribbons to trees, the outside of your house, your trunk/boot (you're welcome, UK and Canada), the elderly, etc., came from.  While you may think I'm making this up (after reading Penwasser Place, who could really blame you?), I swear this is true.  Mostly.

    It was 1979 and, while everyone was dancing to that disco beat,
"No..what?  Who, me?
Seriously, I wasn't there!
Death to America!"
the Ayatollah Khomeini was whipping his followers, who hadn't had their cups of coffee yet, into a frenzy.  The United States let the deposed Shah of Iran seek medical care in the Land of the Free (NOTE:  this was before Obamacare).  And the last thing the Iranians wanted was the Shah to recover from cancer.  Or watch Phil Donahue on the hospital's TVs.  Little suspecting they would star in a Ben Affleck movie in 2012, they stormed the American Embassy in Tehran and took everyone hostage.

   
"Well, that whole desert rescue
thing didn't turn out so well.
We may as well give
those ribbons a try."
President Jimmy Carter was outraged.  Trying everything from talking tough to asking "Pretty, please?" he desperately tried to win release of the hostages.  It all proved for naught until the American people deployed their secret weapon:  Ronald Reagan.


    All during the "Hostage Crisis," we felt powerless ourselves and sought a way to show that we really meant business.  Well, without actually putting ourselves in danger, you know.  We had to go see Saturday Night Fever, after all.

    So, taking inspiration from a Tony Orlando and Dawn song (NOTE:  Did you click on that link above?  Couldn't blame you if you didn't.  It's the A-Z Challenge, you know, and we have to keep moving) about tying yellow ribbons around trees until a convict came home, we all went into yellow ribbon fever.  These things popped up everywhere and even hung around long after the hostages were freed.

    Seeing the success of the yellow ribbons to trumpet a cause, we then took it upon ourselves to seize all the other colors.  To the extent now that, 34 years later, multi-colored ribbons are ubiquitous.

    Except that brown one.
Whaddya know, it does exist.
No shit.
Oh, that's an unfortunate choice of words.

Where Are they Now?

Tony Orlando


AND
Hey, they may not put out records anymore.
But, they sure can cut grease.
Which is more than that fat-ass, Tony, can claim.

 

32 comments:

  1. I always thought the song came after, not before. I'm learning things here now. What a great day for us all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isn't it weird that sometimes an actual fact blunders into here? I really should provide a program to help folks separate BS from the truth.

      Delete
  2. I see Tony's been eatin' a few chimichangas.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hated that song. I hated every version of that song. I hate it still. But I love Penwasser Place so I just have to deal. Not sure I can get the concept of the brown ribbon out of my head now.... yeeuch!

    Hope you're having fun on your trip. Don't worry yourself about us at all.

    M

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My trip was one of the most memorable ones I have ever taken. Well, besides that time with the monkey in Brazil....

      Delete
  4. Never knew that, as the ribbons are everywhere now, didn't even think where they came from. Looked up coprophilia too, hmmmm is that why you keep the dog around? LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That coprophilia is a tad disturbing, no?
      And we thought necrophilia was weird.
      Which it is.

      Delete
    2. Had to go do a post on it after reading about it haha

      Delete
  5. there is a ribbon for everything

    ReplyDelete
  6. The one thing that I've learned from this, well the main thing is that there is a lot of ribbons for a lot of different things, although like you I sincerely hope that the brown one is some kind of myth haha!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's a ribbon for every color of the rainbow. Just thank goodness that the BROWN ribbon isn't Scratch N Sniff.

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. THIS looks like a job for Google!!

      Delete
    2. He is.
      And still eating.
      Try tying a yellow ribbon around HIM.

      Delete
  8. I haven't heard that song in years. Happy years. Have a great week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But the Iranians are still hacked off at us.

      Delete
  9. Yea so I'd never heard that song before, had no idea what the yellow ribbon was about either. I do remember thinking it had something to do with bringing the troops home or something.. Oh well ....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The virtue (?) of being old is that I can remember when things happened and why. For instance, I had to tell my kids that my LP records were NOT big coasters or sucky frisbees.

      Delete
  10. You know I have that song stuck in my head now, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Coulda been worse. I coulda talked about 'Knock Three Times.'
      Ooooops.........

      Delete
  11. Sometimes I tie a ribbon around my.......and try to gift it to the wife.....she just regifts it back to me!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I love making up diseases and giving out ribbons for them. The people at work will fall for anything.

    Hugs!

    Valerie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like 'The People Fund' from 'Seinfeld.' Don't know if you saw that episode.

      Delete
  13. I looked up that word.
    Just EWWWW! What is wrong with some people?
    Brown ribbon is anti-tobacco or colon cancer. The cancer one can be blue too. Purple is for epilepsy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They're just poopie-heads, I guess.

      Delete
  14. I always liked that song............thanks for it, it has cheered up my afternoon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Despite the bad rap it gets, it is a peppy little tune, isn't it?

      Delete
  15. Al, I don't need Google to tell me how much you need professional psychiatric attention. You are also so darn fully...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You should see me when I'm off my meds.

      Delete