'T' is for Titanic
|"Hey, if we hurry, maybe we can catch a Broadway play. |
And get a Big Gulp before Bloomberg gets elected."
RMS Titanic was the largest ship afloat (well, for a few days) in the world. Built in Belfast, Ireland by a bunch of Irishmen (I'm thinking that would go without saying) who didn't pass the entrance exam to be Boston policemen, this leviathan (NOTE: snooty word which can also mean 'whale.' Or 'Oprah.') set sail on her maiden voyage from Southampton on April 10, 1912.
Her destination? New York City. After a stop at Cherbourg, France, to pick up some rude people and a brief visit back to Ireland to pick up a couple guys who re-studied for that test, she turned her course westward to America.
|While most scholars blame an iceberg, |
the Titanic actually struck Celine Dion.
Five days after leaving the United Kingdom, she (always 'she.' Must be that 'Oprah' connection) struck an iceberg while a lot of the passengers were probably asleep, drunk, or wondering what the hell Leonardo Di Caprio and that English chick were doing in that Model T down in steerage.
|"You mean the water could |
come over the bulkheads?
Huh, never saw that coming."
A few hours later, the "Unsinkable Titanic" (irony!!!) lay on the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean, a victim of man's hubris and stunning demonstration of the floatation qualities of metal. Remarkably, the "Unsinkable Molly Brown" survived, to be played by Kathy Bates.
Thousands perished (well, not thousands, but a lot), the reputation of the White Star Lines was sullied, and the world fretted over the perils of oceanic travel.
|"Okay, sure, it's plenty frikkin' cold. |
But, I got Leonardo DiCaprio's autograph."
Luckily, World War I started only a couple years later. So, it pretty much took everybody's mind off it.
Sinking of the Titanic: Pity the Wright Brothers didn't invent 747s huh?
EPILOGUE: Also on this day, German astro-physicist (aka "smart frikkin' guy") A. Massinger discovered asteroids Sorga and Tjilaki lurking behind his shed. Rushing into his house, bragging about his noteworthy accomplishment, he was brought up short by his wife, Mrs. A. Massinger, "Big deal. You hear about how that ship hit an ice cube and killed Leonardo Di Caprio, but not that English chick?"
Noted astro-physicist, author of multiple scientific journals, founder of two asteroids
But, you can't even find his picture on Google.
Sometimes, timing is everything