Monday, April 15, 2013

M & M's & More M & M's


'M' is for a Mess o' M & M's

M & Ms
Or the cheaper knock-offs, W & Ws
Eminem
Short, shirtless, fat, bald black man not included

Magyars of Hungary
"Hey, are we Muslims or what?"
"Come to think of it, I'm not really sure."
"Ya know, that bow would work a lot better with an arrow in it."
"Oh...duh...silly me.  Whaddya say we kill something?"

Magyars of Bensonhurst
"Okay, you can have fried something or fried something else.  
Or yak.  
Your choice."

Mamluks  
Slave soldiers
"Hey, c'mon!  I wanna ride up front for a change!
Hassan's horse keeps farting.
Or Hassan.  Either way..."
Mameluke  
Curved sword
Ignore crazy man on horse.
Who obviously should look where the frik he's going.

Marmaduke  
Lovable pet.  
Sheds like a gorilla,
poops like an elephant,
slobbers like Charlie Sheen on a bender,
eats like Rosie O'Donnell at Golden Corral.  
Better you should get a fish.

Bust of Mark Antony
Looked nothing like Richard Burton.
Who had a shirt.
And eyes.  
They're both dead, though.  
But Burton bagged Elizabeth Taylor.  
Who looked nothing like the real Cleopatra.


Mark Anthony
With Jennifer Lopez.
Or Angelina Jolie.
Whoever.
Let's face it,  he's with someone who wouldn't give me the time of day.
Bust of Marilyn Monroe
I have never wanted to do a dead person so much in my life
Karl Marx
Father of Communism

Groucho Marx  
Father of Melinda, Arthur, Miriam,
and shoeshine mustaches.

Mary, Queen of Scots
"No, no, Mary, just lay your head on this wooden block for your haircut.  
Don't you trust me?  I'm your sister."
Marshall-Queen of Scottsdale

Maximilian, Holy Roman Emperor
Disliked the French, detested his hair, loathed his hat

Maxwell Smart, Agent 86 of CONTROL
"Would you believe...Steve Carell played me in a movie?  
Because I'm dead."


Mesopotamia
Here there be crazy people
Mess o' beans
Good for your heart
Just a plain ole mess  
NOTE:  Somebody's baby once


Mississippi
People of Illinois, Indiana, and Ohio pretty hacked off
that some vandal scrawled "Mississippi River" all over their state.
Really spooked the chickens.  

Plus, the river's frikkin' green!

Mr. Sippy's BBQ
Got really screwed in the divorce settlement.  
All she left him was a dopey restaurant.  
Right across the street from the "International Hall of Vegans."
Early Middle Ages
"Thou mayest use the Royal Privy and a serf with which to wipe.
Canst give thee anything to read.  Smarty-pants monks have all the books."
High Middle Ages
"Your majesty, someone took all the serfs perchance to use the Royal Dumping Ground."
"Very well, use my half-wit brother, Herschel, then.  He won't notice."
Late Middle Ages
"What!!??  The serfs are standing up for their rights!!??  
Is Columbus ever going on his trip?  Maybe he can send us some of those Indians.  All this jumping up and down is getting annoying.  I can't hold it forever, you know!"




46 comments:

  1. I think many wanted to do that dead person, fat shirtless bald guys included

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    Replies
    1. No shirt, no shoes....you ain't getting serviced.

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  2. One of the mysteries of life is how in the hell Marc Anthony can get hot chicks when he looks like a walking skeleton???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, look at Keith Richards. No, seriously, YOU look at Keith Richards.

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  3. Poor Nolte, I guess he never should have had another 48hrs of fun. And all that crap, Rosie err umm marmaduke would be quite the expensive to feed mutt, that Marshall is scary too.

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    Replies
    1. I can't even handle one evening, let alone 48 hours.

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  4. You don't give yourself enough credit, Al. I'm sure J-Lo (is that how you spell it?) would give you the time of day. Or, at least tell you to buy your own watch.

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    Replies
    1. Especially if I was rich or had a huge d...personality.

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  5. No Michelangelo, or Michelangelo's David? That was quite a myriad of M's though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I figure one set of stone genitalia per challenge was enough.

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  6. What? Marshall Queen of Scottsdale isn't worthy of a caption?

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    Replies
    1. And for the record... if she wasn't dead, I'd probably do her as well... provided she'd be on my "free" list, 'cuz you know... I'm married and not a lesbian.

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    2. I just realized that you're right! Marshall doesn't have a caption. I guess his/her beauty just rendered me speechless.

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  7. Wow! That is quite the list of "M's"! Please, please tell me that that get-up the Marshall-Queen of Scottsdale is wearing does NOT have her boobies cut out! Really? I mean, like she is not showing ENOUGH with that big belly of hers? If I had someone like THAT sitting next to me at the pool, I would not be embarrassed to wear my bathing suit. Just saying....And I ain't no skinny broad!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, no that's a dude. A seriously confused dude.

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  8. The Marshall-Queen of Scottsdale is huge haha, such a weird looking woman. I have no idea who she is though and honestly I don't think that I want to know haha. The big black guy with Eminem is named "Bizarre," by the way, I know this because I've seen him live haha, he looks exactly as his name suggests too, very bizarre!

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  9. Whachooo doin posting a picture of my mama - Marshall-Queen of Scottsdale?

    *grins*

    thriftshopcommando.blogspot.com

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  10. Replies
    1. Well, and who doesn't? But, I prefer mine with nuts. Oh. Wait. That's not what I mean.

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  11. Nick Nolte- Tropic Thunder, awesome Movie I Must say.
    Mahvelous!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He was da bomb.
      Or looked like he was hit by one.

      Delete
  12. Now that was a post! My faith in you is restored. But way to make Marmaduke feel unloved. He was somebody's puppy once, too!

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    Replies
    1. Tomorrow's a tale of Norway. Hope you like it.

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    2. Norway! Stavenger over Valerenga!

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  13. That was an extremely comprehensive expose on the Letter "M." A fun read.

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    Replies
    1. I ran out of energy. 'M' is such a versatile letter.

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  14. I think I dated Marshall once. Just once.

    Do M&Ms become W&Ws when you eat them while doing a headstand?

    xoRobyn

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    Replies
    1. And isn't Eminem's first name Marshall?

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    2. I think, when you eat them while doing a headstand, they come out of your nose in a chocolaty rainbow flow.

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  15. Does Mark Antony like to fish? He should cuz it looks like he has worms for hair!

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    Replies
    1. If he is, I can guess what he uses for bait.

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  16. Unfortunately M & Ms have artificial colors.

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  17. Well that is one varied list of Ms! Some made my brain hurt, others were extremely interesting...and there was one that was super yummy - M&Ms ;)

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    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. But, how did Marshall strike you?

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  18. Hey Al,

    You certainly had a nice flow with your "M". You sir, are quirky and clever. I like how your marvellous mind meanders movingly. Will the real Slim Shady please sit down.

    Be well and I'm going now....

    Gary

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  19. mmmmm... m and m's... mmmmmmmm

    What's with that Marshall-Queen of Scottsdale chick - I did a double take - like who goes out in public like that - not mmmmmmm at all! Nope, not! Can I have some of your meds, need it after that pic!


    Jenny @ PEARSON REPORT

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  20. I was actually thinking about using Marmaduke for my "M" post until I realized I know nothing about him. Can he talk?

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  21. Mark seriously... Is it just me or does Mark Anthony look a lot like skelletor from the he man cartoon series!? Because its bothering the shit out of me.

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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  22. From M & M's to Mr Sippy's BBQ, this was mmm...mmm...good, except for the messy parts!

    Julie

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  23. can't get past good ol' Marshall!!! omg omg. HEHEHEHE

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