'M' is for a Mess o' M & M's
|M & Ms|
Or the cheaper knock-offs, W & Ws
Short, shirtless, fat, bald black man not included
|Magyars of Hungary|
"Hey, are we Muslims or what?"
"Come to think of it, I'm not really sure."
"Ya know, that bow would work a lot better with an arrow in it."
"Oh...duh...silly me. Whaddya say we kill something?"
|Magyars of Bensonhurst|
"Okay, you can have fried something or fried something else.
"Hey, c'mon! I wanna ride up front for a change!
Hassan's horse keeps farting.
Or Hassan. Either way..."
Ignore crazy man on horse.
Who obviously should look where the frik he's going.
Sheds like a gorilla,
poops like an elephant,
slobbers like Charlie Sheen on a bender,
eats like Rosie O'Donnell at Golden Corral.
Better you should get a fish.
|Bust of Mark Antony|
Looked nothing like Richard Burton.
Who had a shirt.
They're both dead, though.
But Burton bagged Elizabeth Taylor.
Who looked nothing like the real Cleopatra.
|Mark Anthony |
With Jennifer Lopez.
Or Angelina Jolie.
Let's face it, he's with someone who wouldn't give me the time of day.
|Bust of Marilyn Monroe|
I have never wanted to do a dead person so much in my life
|Karl Marx |
Father of Communism
|Groucho Marx |
Father of Melinda, Arthur, Miriam,
and shoeshine mustaches.
|Mary, Queen of Scots|
"No, no, Mary, just lay your head on this wooden block for your haircut.
Don't you trust me? I'm your sister."
|Marshall-Queen of Scottsdale|
|Maximilian, Holy Roman Emperor |
Disliked the French, detested his hair, loathed his hat
|Maxwell Smart, Agent 86 of CONTROL|
"Would you believe...Steve Carell played me in a movie?
Because I'm dead."
Here there be crazy people
|Just a plain ole mess |
NOTE: Somebody's baby once
People of Illinois, Indiana, and Ohio pretty hacked off
that some vandal scrawled "Mississippi River" all over their state.
Really spooked the chickens.
Plus, the river's frikkin' green!
|Mr. Sippy's BBQ|
Got really screwed in the divorce settlement.
All she left him was a dopey restaurant.
Right across the street from the "International Hall of Vegans."
|Early Middle Ages|
"Thou mayest use the Royal Privy and a serf with which to wipe.
Canst give thee anything to read. Smarty-pants monks have all the books."
|High Middle Ages|
"Your majesty, someone took all the serfs perchance to use the Royal Dumping Ground."
"Very well, use my half-wit brother, Herschel, then. He won't notice."
|Late Middle Ages|
"What!!?? The serfs are standing up for their rights!!??
Is Columbus ever going on his trip? Maybe he can send us some of those Indians. All this jumping up and down is getting annoying. I can't hold it forever, you know!"