Welcome to the 2013 A-Z Challenge!
This time around, instead of "winging it" by pulling topics from my as...encyclopedia, I've decided to adopt a theme. Not only will it avoid the "hit and miss" aspect of the past (for instance, who could forget that truly dreadful "Lemonade" post from last year? I really didn't have a good idea for "L." Sorry), selecting a theme will give structure to which, quite frankly, is sometimes a lunatic asylum around here.
|Oh yeah? |
You should be so lucky
to live in my house.
I also could have gone into something classy, like Famous Men and Women, Mutual of Omaha's The Animal Kingdom, or Farts I Have Known. As cool as they would have been, somebody else was probably already doing those. With the possible exception of that fart thing. Unless it's under the heading, American Politics.
After much thought, deliberation, and consultation with a Magic 8-Ball, I've decided that my theme will be History and its twisted stepsister, Geography (I know. That's makes no sense to me, either). For each of the next 26 posts, I'll be discussing one area of Social Studies (expect Economics, Psychology, and Sociology, which are also Social Studies. Just the sucky ones). I probably won't do a whole lot of research on my topics. Primarily because it's work and, screw that, I don't want this to be work. Plus, I'd like my posts to be a stinging indictment of the Connecticut Public School System.
I'll do my best to keep them short (with the exception of this hideous intro). Well, my 'K' entry ("Kublai Khan") is kind of long, but it's a repost which I originally wrote a couple years ago. This was before I
After all, I could be writing about "Lemonade."
'A' is for Afghanistan
|Flag of Afghanistan |
Red for Courage, Black for Faithfulness, and Green for Ireland.
Which is just silly.
You may have heard about it.
|Crazy People. |
Surrounded by a lot of crazy people.
Hey, but there's Australia.
Where it's now autumn.
They don't even look Oriental.
Afghani (which, I would think, goes without saying) for "Land of Afghans With Very Little Lavatorial Facilities," Afghanistan is a landlocked (NOTE: For those in the Detroit Public School System, that means not surrounded by water) nation located in Southwesterncentral Asia (basically Asia). It is bordered by Pakistan in the south/east, Iran (Persian for "Here There Be Lunatics") in the west, Turkmenistan/Uzbekistan/Tajikistan (that's more Stans than at a Polish-American mixer, huh?) to the north, China to the northeast, and the 21st Century everywhere else.
Afghanistan is the 42nd most populous nation in the world and is home to 30 million people. It is also the 41st largest land area on Earth, just behind Michael Moore and Oprah.
|That's it! I will not live next door |
to those crazy Talibans!
We're moving somewhere safe.
Evidence of early civilization has been unearthed which shows that humans started calling Afghanistan their home somewhere around 3,000-2,000 BC (NOTE: I refuse to use the goofy "BCE-Before Common Era" convention. In my opinion, it's a dumbass, politically-correct avoidance of "Before Christ." Since nothing changes except the designation, it's stupid. Ditto on my use of "AD" over "CE"). This was, according to Sister Caligula in the 8th grade, in the Middle Paleolithic Era. So, they may have met the Flintstones.
Part of the original Silk Road, it was a way station for merchants traveling from Europe seeking the riches of the Orient (much of which was "silk." Duh). Unfortunately, since it was on the way to the Far East and the secret recipe of General Tso's Chicken, it has seen its share of invaders such as: Alexander the Great, Warren the Not-So-Great, Genghis Khan, Kublai Khan, Wrath of Khan, Greco-Bactrians, Seleucids, Khosrau I, Parthians, Indo-Parthians, the Indian Maurya Empire, Kushans, Hepthalites, Rotarians, Kidarite Huns, Saffarids, Sylvester Stallone, Klingons, Ghaznavids, Orcs, Ghorids, Khiljis, Amish, the Traveling Wilburys, Mughals, Spanky and the Gang, Durranis, British, the New York Yankees, Russians, Soviets (basically, Russians with a chip on their shoulder), Mrs. Barton's 3rd grade class from P.S. #151, and, most recently, the Americans (who live 9,000 miles or so away and couldn't give a flying crap about silk, so....).
NOTE: Some of the above groups may not be accurate. I'm pretty sure about the Ghorids, but the Klingons may be bogus.
|But not dogs. |
Who had enough sense to get the hell out.
Afghanistan is the world's leading exporter of refugees, asylum-seekers, and covers of National Geographic. Its language is Pashto and its capital is Kabul. Its many tourist destinations include the International Airport in the capital from which you can travel to those areas of the world where your life isn't in so much danger. Like Paris, the French Riviera, or Somalia.
Afghanistan-Come for the history. Stay for the dysentery!
Before we carry on with the lexicon lunacy, I would be remiss if I didn't extend my sincere thanks to Arlee Bird, founder of the A-Z Challenge. Were it not for his guidance and mastery of getting us all together to churn out multiple posts for which we don't get paid, why, all I'd have to do is play "Words With Friends." And now you know who to blame.Thanks, Arlee, wherever you are!