Saturday, February 23, 2013

This, That, and the Other Thing

  As they told my mother after I was born, this will be a short one.  I don't have a lot of time to write an overly long post (you're welcome).  That, plus the fact I have a few things to tell you which wouldn't make for a decent size offering has resulted in the following potpourri of "This, That, and the Other Thing."
  
Oh, no.
None of this when I'm on the can.
  First, I'd like to report that I have finished my bathroom!  Well, virtually finished.  Like Michelangelo, I still need to paint the ceiling.  Unlike Michelangelo, it won't contain a plethora of naked dudes.  Or women, for that matter (Mrs. Penwasser is such a prude).  Or naked babies (because that would be just plain creepy).  
  
January 12, 2013
  
January 26, 2013
Okay, so it took me a while to post this.
But, I had to get that old dude out of the mirror.
  Oh, and I still need to put a new faucet on the bathtub.

  Other than that, it's just about done.
I said just about done!  Dammit!
 ****
30 Days of Fun.
Followed by a summer of nervous breakdown  
  Speaking of the 2013 A-Z Challenge (we weren't), have you signed up for it yet?  If not, please click on this link.  No, this one.  Then follow the bouncing ball to sign up for 30 days of seemingly countless typing.  Or you can write all your posts beforehand and put them on delayed post.

  Despite the fact that I promised I would repeat my 'E' post for Easter ('Easter' begins with 'E.'  Try and keep up), I won't be doing that this year because Easter is actually in March (the 31st).

  That's the good news.

  The bad news is that you'll still get a repost from last year for Easter.  Which is on a Sunday this year.  Funny how that always seems to work out that way.  Don't worry, though.  It's hysterical.  As far as you know.


"Be honest.
Do these chains make my junk look big?"
  In a departure from past challenges, I've decided to go with a theme.  So, for 2013, I will devote each letter of the alphabet to a part of history.  I've always wanted to write something along the lines of a world history.  Which is totally void of facts or any redeeming educational value.  You know, like the Philadelphia school system.  

  I probably won't repeat my 'K' entry from 2011 (Kublai Khan) or my 'X' entry from last year (Xerxes), but you never know.

  Which means, plan on it.
****

  I've been informed that, according to Alexa-The Web Information Company,  Penwasser Place is ranked #10,054,189 worldwide.  Now, I have no earthly clue who-or what-Alexa is, but.......suck it, #10,054,190!
****


Get your copy now while millions last! 
NOTE:  At press time, no picture for
It's Not Just a Job was available.
Because I didn't feel like doing it yet.
Sue me.
  You'll be pleased (?) to know that I've finally begun work on my third book.  Called It's Not Just a Job, it takes the main character from Shag Carpet Toilet and puts him in the Navy.  I may include excerpts from the book here from time to time.  Especially if I got nothing else to say.  I hope It's Not Just a Job enjoys the same screeching success that its predecessor, which is coming in at a solid #626,650 on the Kindle Hot Hits Chart, had.  

  Could be worse, I suppose.  Could be #10,054,189.

****
  
Latest Just An Observation
James Buchanan
The only president from Pennsylvania.
Spoiler Alert:  he sucked.
  Finally (thank goodness), I've started another blog which pays me as much as my blog here at Blogger does (uh oh).  Called Just An Observation, it's hosted by the Philadelphia news organization and concerns my observations (clever how I included that in the blog's title, huh?) about what life is like in southeastern Pennsylvania.  Mostly because I have no clue what life's like in Southeastern Iowa.  Besides corn.  And tornadoes.  What's more, I'm writing under my own name.  So, if you want to find out what my real name is (a secret as closely guarded as "How Do I Get Into Snooki's Pants?") or you want to find out a little about Pennsylvania (why?) or you're just plain frikkin' bored, you can access it here.  

****

  Oops, hang on.  That really wasn't all that short, was it?  Well, to make up for it, how 'bout some mindless gratuity of a prurient nature?

Reputed to be a witty conversationalist.
As if anyone frikkin' cared.
I've been told he's attractive.
Gotta admit, though, I am a little skeeved.
You're welcome, ladies.
As always, here at Penwasser Place, we don't judge.
But, I'm really skeeved now.

36 comments:

  1. Another blog at you den, maybe you'll get to ten, or exchange the sheep for a hen, get what I did there Ben? Close,right? A to Z is no fright, been done for a month or so at my show. Easter is right after my birthday this year, so I get gipped and get everything at once I fear. Nice loo, are you ever going to shit it or get off the pot though? Those cheeks must be numb by now lol And history as well that will be swell, enjoy two blogs, now post each day on both and you'll beat me. Was this comment supposed to be small? I was just trying to do you a favor and put lots of writing on the wall. Then it could block that guy in the mirror and things would be clearer. Unless the sheep lover comes around and then things would be, well you know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A comment so refined
      is something divine.
      A shame I'd soil it
      with a post about a toilet.

      Delete
  2. I rank 11,402,989th. Just 1,348,800 behind you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wondered how many people would look to see the stats for their blog. If, for nothing else, to see if I was making it up (I've been known to do that).

      Delete
  3. Hah, how PC of you show beefcake below the hot chick! I never feel the need to balance the pictures in each post - it all evens out in the long run. How come no pictures of the shower and Jacuzzi? Are you trying to hide something from us?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The shower stayed the same and the Jacuzzi still needs the new spout. Although, at my age, I don't use the tub all that much anymore. Nobody can tell where the bubbles come from.

      Delete
  4. James Buchanan doesn't have many fans to be sure

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm going to look to see if there's a "James Buchanan Appreciation Society." I doubt it, though. I don't think anyone liked him.

      Delete
  5. The bathroom is looking good! But, it's about that sheep friend.....

    ReplyDelete
  6. Nice job with the bathroom mate, extra credit since the second photo was taken on my birthday too haha. Best of luck with the next book, hopefully it does well because with your talent for writing it's much deserved.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How 'bout that? Your birthday, my bathroom. I hope the next book will be finished by Christmas (which will be here before you know it).

      Delete
  7. Nice job on the bathroom redo. It looks like a great place to, um, as my kids say, "Take a dump."

    ReplyDelete
  8. I can't imagine why you don't want a copy of Michelangelo's masterpiece on your bathroom ceiling. Send me the airfare and I'll help paint your ceiling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's just that male genitalia would make me constipated.

      Delete
  9. Your bathroom looks great. Did you know your mirror has a picture of a funny little short man taking a picture? Where can I get one of those mirrors?

    Serially, you're on your third book? Did you publish a second? If so, I'm sorry I missed out on that news. You're doing great, Al. You're an excellent writer despite your Amazon ranking.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wrote "The Knothead Twins and the Mystery of the Ghost Crabs." It's a Young Adult kinda book I wrote for my daughter. Not my normal (I use the term 'normal' loosely) stuff, but then again, Ian Fleming wrote "Chitty Chitty Bang bang" as well as James Bond. I'm not comparing myself to Ian Fleming, mind you. For one thing, he's dead.

      Delete
  10. If only we could turn those numbers into that kind of money.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I see you've thrown out the bathroom scale with the renovation!

    Golf claps all around! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn thing made its way back though. But, we treat it like William Shatner's singing career. We ignore it.

      Delete
  12. Replies
    1. Thanks! I got so tired of crapping in the yard. The dog was really starting to get ticked off. He doesn't like to share.

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  13. I'm starting to wonder whether you consume too much coffee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just...enough...tO...STOP...THE...VOICES!!!!!

      Delete
  14. You wouldn't want to come and do my bathroom............oh the dept of housing may not be very happy about me doing work in my bathroom since we are renters and as such we are not allow to go ripping up the bathroom and changing things........so I guess you are off the hook about doing my bathroom...........lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See, if I did it, you could blame it on a remodel home invasion.

      Delete
  15. I love History with no facts to back it up!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's by far the easiest kind to write. The secret is to pepper it with actual facts (i.e., James Buchanan WAS a president and he WAS from Pennsylvania). Then, let your imagination run wild and no one will be the wiser!
      For example, Buchanan may NOT have actually thrown righteous keggers. Or...maybe he did?
      See what I mean?

      Delete
  16. Your take on history is probably closer to the truth than what they teach at many schools! Even as a kid, I thought I knew more about history than my teachers. However, they were damn good at remembering the dates things happened on... And they wonder why kids don't like history!

    Although this blog post certainly wasn't short, it cover just about every subject know to man...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really like writing history. Not dry recitation of facts and figures, mind you. But history that has no redeeming academic value.

      Delete
  17. I hear history with no facts is the most popular type of history... see: the bible.

    Bathroom's looking fabulous x

    ReplyDelete
  18. Your bathroom looks great! Congrats on your new column! I loved your story about working out! I can't believe you even found time to start your third book. You are like the Energizer Bunny!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The third book should be pretty easy (I hope). Even though it's fiction, a lot of it will be based on actual events. The new column is not AS much fun to write as Penwasser Place. I really enjoy the chance to put in pictures with captions. Not so much with the new gig. I guess I actually have to write coherent essays!

      Delete