Wednesday, December 19, 2012

A Yule Dad Cometh

Continued from Merry Christmas-Iceland Style.  I'd provide a link, but that's too much work.  If you really want to know what's going on, please select "Older Posts"  below.
In the running for the role of Yule Lads.
Until the government of Iceland realized they were all dead.
    Our daughter was snoring away-no doubt dreaming of what kind of “loot” she’d get from the little troll that night (and I don’t mean me).  A precocious fourth-grader, she made sure to tell us at dinner that she’d been a great girl that year.  Hopefully, Stekkjarstaur would be able to fit a puppy in her sneaker.
Type II Diabetes-Starring Eddie Murphy

    One child down, I told my wife I’d place a “Family Size” Snickers (if the family was the Klumps) in my son’s shoe.

    The base’s apartments weren’t like the typical ones back in America.  Everything was so small, I didn’t have room to walk around his bed.  This being the case, I had to stretch clear across where he slept just to reach the windowsill.          

    As I neared his shoe, I heard a voice from out of the darkness, “That’s okay, Dad.  You can turn on the light if you can’t see.”

    Busted, I quickly dropped the candy into his shoe and departed without a word.

    The next morning at breakfast, I asked my eleven year old about the night before.

    “Oh, that,” he said with a wave of his hand, “I’m too old for that stuff anymore.  I’ll tell you what, just save yourself the trouble and give me my present before I go to bed.”

    Mildly depressed that my little boy was growing up, I said nothing as he headed off to school.

    Before he walked through the door, he called over his shoulder, “Oh, hey, I left something for you and Mom on your nightstand.  See you this afternoon.”

    Shaking off my gloominess, I shuffled into my dollhouse bedroom and saw a piece of paper next to the alarm clock.  It was my son’s Christmas list.
What the frik is an iPod Docking Station?
Maybe I should just give the Penwasser kid a potato.
    
    Starting off with “Dear Santa,” it went on to list, by color, size, and memory storage, everything he wanted to see under the tree come Christmas morning.
    
At the bottom, he closed with, “Oh, yeah, just in case, Merry Christmas, Mom and Dad.”
    
Or, as they say in Iceland, “Gleδileg Jól.”


20 comments:

  1. Haha that last photo made me laugh so much Al, how's a man of old fashioned taste like Mr Claus supposed to know what the heck is a Docking Station now you think about it. Great post Al, even though I've read it before I still love it. Gleoileg Jol to all of your family and yourself of course.

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    1. The elves could only make iPods if they outsourced the labor to Asia.

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  2. Your lad was right, eleven is too old to believe in Santa Claus.

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    1. He's 20 now. I won't buy into his delusions any longer, dammit!

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  3. Now you just need to wait for the grandkids haha I faked it at his age, didn't want coal.

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    1. When grandkids finally arrive, it'll be a bitch not to give the show away.

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  4. Oh that is hilarious!!!! Sadly my 17 and 12 year old sons are still pretending so they get double the gifts from Santa and from us under the tree, and we as parents are just as guilty for allowing the lie to continue.

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  5. I told myself if I had kids I wouldn't lie to them about Santa but I know I would. It's going to be heartbreaking when they don't believe anymore, but it's going to be a fun and cute ride for the most part.

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    1. Later that year, our daughter asked Mrs. Penwasser if Santa was real. Insisting she couldn't lie to her children, she told her the truth.
      Noble, but depressing all the same.

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  6. Potatoes do make wonderful presents. There are so many uses for them.

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  7. Gleδileg Jól just rolls off the tongue

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    1. I know. So does Happy New Year. Although I can't remember what the Icelandic term is.
      Although I do remember that "Tak" means "Thank you."
      Or "Trash" (it was written on the trash cans at McDonalds).

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  8. I can't remember how old I was when I learned the truth, probably around your son's age. I don't think anyone told me, but you just sort of figure it out eventually.

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    1. I'm not exactly sure when I stopped, either. Although I took a terrible ribbing from the boys at Boot Camp.

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  9. Mele Kalikimaka. Feliz Navidad. Noel. Now I can add Gleoileg Jol. I'm becoming so international!

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    1. And don't forget Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
      If Jose Feliciano is to be believed.

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  10. He's one sharp tack, that son of yours.

    xoRobyn

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