Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Balls

It's not even Halloween
And the stores are already selling stuff for Christmas.

I don't care how much my local merchants strong-arm me.
I'm gonna wait to see if the Mayans were on to something.

No sense buying presents I'll never get a chance to give.

47 comments:

  1. haha yeah it is pretty sad, good idea to wait and see. No sense in jingling change for balls if the Mayans were right and some event is going to deck our halls.

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    1. Or jiggling balls for change. If I'm going to do that, I want serious money.

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  2. I should have never opened this one... UGH.. I can't believe they're now trying to rid of halloween for Christmas. Lets go on strike!! No Christmas Balls this year, no decorations. :)

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    1. If the Mayans ARE right, you may get your wish. But, I don't place a lot of faith in their prediction abilities. For instance, they never saw the Spanish coming.

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  3. I saw that at Lowe's a couple weeks ago.
    My cousins wife actually bought a Christmas tree already.
    It's just sad.

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    1. I just hope it wasn't a real tree. Cause that sucker ain't gonna make it.

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  4. That's why I'm having Christmas early - just so I CAN enjoy all my gifts (I am expecting lots, Al...do you hear me...lots and lots of gifts, before the end of the world gets here).

    It all starts with my tree decorating party, which I'm having in November. If you make it on my VIP list Al, you will be required to bring a decoration (and a gift, for moi, because it's the right thing to do) and in turn I'll stuff you full of my fabulous baked salami and uber tasty meatballs...and lots and lots of top of the line booze! (on second rate hooch for my guests)

    If it's one thing I've learned in my 39 years on the planet, Al, it's NEVER skimp on the booze - no matter how tasty the food is, or how fabulous I look in my party dress, if the booze runs out, or is in short supply or if it's just wine and beer, there will be no living it down...seen it happen to many a party thrower and they are still exiled from the party circuit. (at least my party circuit - I've got standards, Al)

    It's the truth Al, 'cause you know I would never lie to you...never. So you better get your retired little tush over to that store, selling those decorations, early and get with the program. If we're leaving this planet than I expect it to in style and that means lots and lots of decorations.

    Merry Christmas, Al!
    Jenny

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    1. You're gonna stuff me with salami and meatballs? Thanks for the kind offer, but I don't swing that way. ;-)
      I'm good with booze, though.

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    2. Name your poison - since salami and meatballs aren't "up your alley" how about a mound of shaved honey glazed ham, on a slice of thick German rye with extra hot mustard and a sloppy scoop of sauerkraut to coat the whole feast! And...BOOZE, lots of booze! That's my last offer, after that you'll be lucky to lick the plates as the dishwasher! hehehe

      Delete
    3. Up my alley!!?? I only allow that once per year at the doctor's.
      Although, I do love a shaved honey.
      Oh, I just gotta stop this!
      Ham on rye with extra hot mustard with sauerkraut. Oh my, oh my, oh my. That sounds great.
      Offer accepted.
      And, of course, the booze thing goes without saying.

      Delete
    4. I knew you'd come around to my final offer - no one ever turns down sloppy sauerkraut!
      (you and I really have "potty mouth" humour...but, hey, with that Mayan thing coming one has to get in as much sick and twisted humour as possible)

      If the ship's going down I want it to be with a full complement of crazed lunatics laughing their asses off - and me at the helm of course! (okay you can take turns steering us to Hell too)

      Delete
    5. You got it! I'll be there with bells on. Unless you prefer I leave my bells at home.

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    6. What, no tinsel? Geez...and I thought you were a party animal...guessed wrong, eh!

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  5. PLEASE WATCH THIS:

    http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/580c572ed2/big-balls-w-john-leguizamo

    I got yr balls right here!

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  6. Listen, I expect a Christmas present from you whether the world ends or not.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We might be cool with Hannukah gifts. Since Mrs. Penwasser #1 was/is part of the tribe, they may still let me get away with it.

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  7. They need to put up a sign saying "SCREW ON A PAIR!". You can't sell big without advertising.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I would love to make up a sign just like that.
      Don't think I won't.

      Delete
  8. You know that's a damn good point. I'd wait too but most of the stuff I'm going to buy is going to be online and if I wait that long then there's a chance I won't get to give it anyway.

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    Replies
    1. So we're ALL screwed. I hope Amazon.com makes allowances.

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  9. I laughed just at the name of this post.

    Can I start putting tons of charges on my credit card now? I mean, if the world is going to end I won't have to pay the bill, right? My luck, it won't end and they won't take the Mayan deal as an excuse.

    I just noticed you're back on the toilet at the top of the page. I meant to say something yesterday, but, as usual, I was distracted like a puppy by something else in your post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, I bought a house I can't afford. Who cares? Oh, but egg on my face if those Mayans were full of crap.
      As far as the toilet, I hadda go.

      Delete
  10. I have bought 2 xmas items so far :(

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    1. So, you'll have plenty of time to exchange them on December 20th if it's looking kinda dicey around the world.
      Then again, why bother?

      Delete
  11. I can't believe that they're advertising for Christmas already myself Al, it's crazy in my eyes and way too early. I did get excited over the "official," Santa Clause following me on Twitter the other day though so I'm just as guilty as everyone else!

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    1. Remember...he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake.
      Someone really oughta call the cops on this guy.

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  12. happy ballsmas to you and your kin.

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    1. Just as long as I don't don my gay apparel. Then again, Jenny wants to stuff me with a salami and meatballs.

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  13. It was bad enough when they skipped over Thanksgiving to push Christmas, but they are skipping Halloween and Columbus Day! Man, soon They'll be playing Christmas music in August!

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    1. I think we're okay there. They'd interfere with Labor Day carols.

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  14. buying intelligently requires delaying buying
    nice post like the title

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    1. Hopefully, there won't be a balls shortage if we wait to get a good deal.

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  15. I know. Someone around here has a Christmas tree up already. They obviously don't trust the Mayans.

    xoRobyn

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    Replies
    1. Or they have one seriously effed up calendar.

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    2. Or they know they won't be around for Christmas so they are celebrating early.

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  16. The world's really going to end? Why didn't someone tell me? I could have made my savings last through 2012. I didn't have to go back to work. Dadgummit...

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    1. But, like I've always said, I'm not sure you can trust the Mayans' prediction abilities 100%.
      After all, they didn't see the Spanish coming.

      Delete
  17. I've already heard Christmas music in several stores. Not okay.

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    1. But, at least you don't have to listen to Columbus Day carols anymore.

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  18. I agree that they should at least wait unit after Halloween. Although, I liked things better when the Christmas music and decorations didn't come out until after Thanksgiving. Julie

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    1. As a kid, the Christmas hoopla didn't start until after Thanksgiving. But, I guess after Halloween is okay. But, in the name of all that's holy (pardon the pun), BEFORE?

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  19. Replies
    1. Using the Julian calendar will get you every time.

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  20. I took the 21st of dec. off.

    I figure I'll keep the kids home from school and have an end of the world party. :)

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    1. I may do the exact same thing. And tell my boss I may not be back in the morning.

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  21. I hate that the stores have stuff for Christmas out so bloody early we had some Christmas stuff show up in stores last month yes September which is just bloody stupid......

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