Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Today's Olympics Update


August 7th Medal Recap:

                                                                                          Gold   Silver    Bronze  Total
People's Republic of China and Walmart                          31       19         14          64
United States of Michael Phelps and Snooki                     29       15         14          63
United Kingdom of Northern Ireland and Dental Care       18       11         11          40
Canada                                                                                 1         3           6          10


Incidentally, is it "Great Britain" or "United Kingdom"?  I know Great Britain (and Prince Charles) is a part of the United Kingdom, but I've seen it written both ways.  It would seem to me that the UK would be the most accurate.  Or is this just another example of the English just pushing their weight around because they have the Queen (and...uh...Prince Charles)?  Bottom line, I chose "United Kingdom" because it worked better for the joke.  But, what's the true answer?  

Seriously, Canada?  Don't feel too badly, you'll totally kick ass at the Winter Olympics.  And as for those smarty-pants from China?  Okay, they'll probably do pretty well there, too.  But, Jamaica can go suck it.

By way of comparison, the tiny nation of Uzbekistan (Urdu for "Land Without Flushing Toilets") has won only one medal in London.  This was a Bronze awarded to Abbos Atoev for defeating India's Vijender Singh in Boxing (Middleweight Division).


"Abbos Atoev, you've won the Bronze Medal at the Olympics. What are you going to do now?"
"I go United States. Knock smart-ass Penwasser flat on ass."
   

35 comments:

  1. Canada isn't doing very good

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    1. I was actually kinda surprised at that.

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  2. The United Kingdom includes Northern Ireland and other smaller countries while Great Britain is just Scotland, Wales and England, I know it's confusing though Al. Damn it's annoying to see Snooki above my country, I do love Phelps though so that evens it out. Watch out for Abbos Atoev all the same though haha!

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    1. Much, much better than seeing Snooki above YOU. That would turn me gay, for sure.

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    2. thank you, matthew. i didn't know that about united kingdom vs great britain. i ignorantly thought they were both just fancy names for england. dumb american.

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    3. I learned that England was part of Great Britain which was part of the United Kingdom when I was in college.
      Of course, we only had 48 states then.
      DISCLAIMER: I'm happy to report that last was a slight exaggeration.

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    4. But, I will say that Matthew really explained it so clearly that even a knucklehead like me can understand it.

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  3. I don't think any nation should have a name beginning with United - that honour belongs to the United Federation of Planets. You Americans should have a lottery to name your country after one of the 50 states. I hope Kentucky wins.

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    1. I'm not sure. Isn't their family tree a telephone pole?

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  4. It's GREAT Britain because WE ARE!!!

    By the way ... the American girl, Gabrielle Douglas, has JUST fallen off (ouch!) the beam in the final!!!

    We use the United Kingdom bit only when we ain't arguing with each other.

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  5. Al, he drops his left. Just jab him until he does, then a right haymaker and you'll finish him off quick. And UK does work better than, say, Great HMS Health Care Britain.

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  6. And as for Snooki in the title with Phelps, isn't that the national slogan- Subway and sex?

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  7. Hmph! Canada is just Canada, no catchy slogan after the name, how rude.

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    1. Well, as far as I'm concerned, it's a great country.

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  8. Well I'm glad Yeamie there explained the UK and GB situation, but if we go by that then they should be Team UK and not Team GB. I was under the impression that both of them were accurate, and you mostly said UK when you intended to add that it included Northern Island.

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    1. So, it's pretty synonymous as far as concerning medal awards?

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  9. Ha! That's awesome, love the picture caption ;) I'm still watching the Olympics....I could have put my foot through the TV this morning when I turned it on and BOOOOOM it was loud as shit blaring something awful of Olympic nature! Everyone has their breaking point, waking to turn underroos, refraining from beating the dog to a bloody pulp and the blasted TV.

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    1. I think judo has that effect on people.

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  10. Yes, we need a catchy slogan for Canada.

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    1. Would they be able to fit "Repelling Invasion From the United States Since 1775" on their flag?

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  11. United Kingdom includes Ireland, Scotland & Wales which share the same land mass with Britain. Great Britan refers just to the country of Britain which has elevated their status to "Great". Al, please let me know when Abbos Atoev will be in America. I would like to buy tickets to your butt kicking... Thank you, Mark

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    1. Is it Ireland or Northern Ireland? I thought Ireland was its own country...? Or isn't it? Confused...

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  12. Walmart should be tested for steroids. Canada isn't even a real country, it shouldn't be competing.

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    1. At the very least, it should be tested for crimes against fashion and hygiene.

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  13. All the comments here are very entertaining! But hey, Jamaica? You gotta' love Bolt and "the Beast."

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  14. Thanks for another wonderful history lesson! Sadly, I'll only remember about Snooki. Julie

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  15. @Eva: I do. But, let's see him in the luge, is all I'm sayin'.....
    @Julie: Whoops. Sorry about that.

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  16. I hear the Jamaicans may take the bob sled again. :)

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    1. Only if John Candy comes back from the dead.

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  17. Replies
    1. Thanks! As much as I like to poke fun, any Olympian from any country could kick the crap out of me. I'm a lover, not a fighte....geez, I'm not a very good lover, either.
      Crap.

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  18. This always happens with Canada. Perpetual underdogs. (And I like it.)

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  19. You didn't mention us Aussies, we are there too and jumping over hurdles and dog paddling up a pool and doing something in a sail boat and I am sure we are doing other things but hell I don't know much about sport and only half watch the news why because when they start to talk sport I kind of just glaze over like a donut.......lol

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