|"Really? You gotta get your iPod now?"|
|Sometimes, "Just one more" leads to "Just one too many."|
Plus, I should have waited until dark.
I shuddered when I realized they were my only escape from the patina of scum which clogged my pores and the disturbing aroma wrought by campfire smoke, sweat, and who knows how many squished mosquito guts (NOTE: Have I painted a pleasant enough picture for you?).
But, since I had more pressing issues to tackle at the moment, I turned right. As I sat on a paper-covered seat which was still warm from the fat guy who had just left (ewwwwwww...........), I glanced at the graffiti-covered walls.
I was puzzled. Who brings a Sharpie into a toilet? Or takes the time to carve their initials in the wall? Frankly, I just wanted to "drop the kids off at the pool" (NOTE: a cute little aphorism that I've used since junior high school. Like "spank the monkey.") and get the hell out of there. I also wondered, who ever heeds the crudely-scrawled "Be here at 11:30 pm on August 2nd for an awesome BJ." (NOTE: I looked at my watch. 11:05. Whew!).
Then, I saw the below, just above the (empty, dammit! shoulda checked!) toilet paper roll:
|Well, she was someone's baby once.|
1. What kind of love do you have that you feel the need to trumpet it on a bathroom wall? Wouldn't a card and flowers be more appropriate?
2. If that is genuinely how you feel, how will Miranda ever know?
3. Frankly, I don't want to conjure up the image of love to any dude who has his drawers around his ankles and may be bored. If you know what I mean.
4. If Miranda is the type of girl who hangs around the Mens Room and would see your declaration of love, maybe she's not the one for you, Sparky. You may not want to hang around with her unless you're a physician. If you know what I mean.
EPILOGUE: The next morning, I went back to the same stall, this time with a Sharpie of my own. I crossed out "love" and replaced it with "did." Underneath, I wrote "and so did I" in different styles. Then, I took a shower. In a HAZMAT suit.
Although, when I was done, I wondered who that girl was who was standing by the doorway.