Monday, July 23, 2012

Made in Spain

Nobody made a big fuss over this.
Even though Superman was Made in Krypton.

You be the judge.
My latest post, Made in China, generated quite a few comments.  Looks like folks are split over whether the American Olympics team should be outfitted in uniforms made in Walmart China.  Some think it's no big deal while others are outraged.
  Rather than get all caught up in a jingoistic frenzy (I can, but prefer not to), I thought it was more important to point out just how hideously wretched their clothing looked.  Plus, I gave you a picture of the Spanish team to let you know it could be worse.  They looked like someone vomited a bag of Resse's Pieces on them.  Plus, they're mannequins.  And that doesn't bode well for track and field.
  In any event, I plan on watching the Olympics starting this week (or reruns of NCIS).  Depending on how motivated I am, I'll give updates here on how well everyone is doing.  But, rather than concentrating on the major sports (unless USA basketball gets beaten by Bulgaria-that would be epic!), I'll devote most of my time to lesser-known sports which don't merit much attention.  So, hang on to your hats for anything to do with horses, ribbons, and synchronized anything.
  Okay, back to my point with this post.  One of the comments to my rant was from Nellie.  She expressed surprise that Charo was Spanish and not Mexican.  I told her (just in case none of you read my reply to her.  Frankly, though, how many of you really do that?  It's not like you have nothing else better to do-like me-than reading everyone's comments/replies) that Charo really was born in Spain.
  But, for those of you who didn't know that, may I present a primer on that luminary of stage and screen, Meryl Streep.  Err, I meant Charo.

TV Guide, 1971
Edgar, End of the Bar, Elks (B.P.O.E.) Lodge #1365, Wallingford, Connecticut
Catch-phrase:  "Cuchi!  Cuchi!"
I could be wrong,
but I don't think that means, "Stay in school."
Born:  January 15, 1951.  Nobody has seen her birth certificate so there', wait, that's someone else.

Where:  Murcia, Spain
Murcia-Come for the warm Mediterranean breezes.
Stay for the Inquisition.
Name:  Maria Rosario Pilar Martinez Molina Baez.  Name shortened to Charo so she could get one of those personalized license plates from a Torremolinos gift shop.

Xavier and the family pet, Cuchi.
In order to help move to the United States (where they appreciate big breasts), Charo married some big shot Spanish composer, Xavier Cugat (he "knew a guy"), who was old enough to be her ancestor.  Charo first moved to New York City (concrete jungles, where dreams are made of, according to Alicia Keys) sometime during the early years of the Vietnam War (the two are unrelated.  As far as you know).

Since I don't have a lot of space, I'll spare you all her career highlights (you may stop laughing now).

Charo's breasts and buttocks first appeared on the The Ed Sullivan in the mid-1960s.  Ed, who apparently had gotten over his traumatic "Don't Let Elvis Shake His Hips On National TV" paranoia, thoroughly enjoyed his lap dance while Cugat played the accordion with a monkey.

Charo went to appearances on Laugh-In (where she made Goldie Hawn look like a frikkin' genius), Hollywood Squares, Donny and Marie, Sonny and Cher, The Love Boat (really, is anyone surprised?), Tony Danza, and the RuPaul Show (where contestants had to guess who the real female impersonator was).

She also tried her hand at her own TV show.  It failed.  I know.  Shocking.

She's appeared at shows in Branson, Missouri, and Las Vegas, Nevada (so you don't get it confused with Las Vegas, New Hampshire).  Plus, she is also a frequent performer on cruise ships where, remarkably, bouts of seasickness are not reported.

So, there you have it.  Charo, born in Spain, naturalized in the United States.  Not Mexican.  Or Belgian.

But you knew that.
Also born in Spain.
But he played a cat, named Puss, in a cartoon.
Plus, give him a break for that Spy Kids thing, too.



  1. So Charo was the Kim Kardashian of her time? If only they'd had "reality" TV back in the '60s.

  2. Antonio Banderas. Dreamy. I hear he;s also a heckofaguy. His wife's a beech tho.

  3. I had never heard of Charo until now. I wish that I never had.

  4. Didn't Charo go to Fantasy Island after taking that love cruise?
    Here's another sport: RAGBRAI. No winners and no losers, but you get to see people ride bikes and talk about the heat and everything. It goes all week.
    It stands for Registers annual great bike ride across Iowa.

  5. Never heard of Charo either that I am aware of until now too. Banderas did Zorro though and Desperado, so that makes up for the spy kids crap. And enjoy the sports that I don't know how they hell anyone can call them sports too!

  6. Ha! That lady scares me, may very well haunt my dreams tonight. Ya know I have you to blame for that! Thanks a lot! :)

  7. From what I've seen and heard of Charo (i.e. what you've written above) I'd say she was likeable. May I dare to inquire whether her breasts and buttocks were 100% authentic?

  8. OMG I feel SO old that all of these people have never heard of Charo, and I was seriously going to comment that I can't believe she is that young. I would have pegged her MUCH older!!!!

  9. I don't care where Antonio Banderas was born, he can enter my borders any day. I wasn't really aware who Charo even was. I don't know if this is good or bad. There are many a minor sport in the Olympics to keep yourself occupied, so you could be in front of your TV for days on end.

  10. I'd never heard about Charo before so thanks for the lesson Al, she sounds pretty annoying haha, the only good thing in my eyes about Spain is the football team.

  11. Wow, I can't believe how many folks *didn't* know about Charo! Not that there's anything really noteworthy about her, except for the T&A. I just remember her from all that crap TV she did, back in the day.

    As for the Spanish team's kit - I dig the colors, man. Dig 'em! :-)
    Some Dark Romantic

  12. I wonder why anyone thought Charo was Mexican. She's so obviously Spanish. She and "Cugy" were on the Merv Griffin Show all the time. I was never a fan although I did like to hear her play the Spanish guitar.

  13. @PT: She was the Kardashians before the Kardashians were cool. No, wait. Check that. The Kardashians were never cool.
    @Mary A: I still think he's the bumblebee on those Nasonex commercials. Do you know? Mark of a lazy man: Even in the age of Google, too frikkin' lazy to look up who the bee is.
    @Tony: You're welcome.
    @Ruth: She WAS on Fantasy Island. But, I omitted it because I figured the Love Boat got my point across. She was probably on Love, American Style, too.
    @MonkeyButt: If your nightmares are in Spanish, then I apologize.
    @Gorilla: I don't know. I wanted to check, but she never returned my calls.
    @JKIRF: I was also surprised at how many people didn't know who she was. And how many liked the Spanish team's clothes.
    @Mark: I am so looking forward to yachting and hobbit tossing.
    @Matthew: Kublai Khan, Xerxes, Charo....who says you never learn anything at Penwasser Place? You're right, the Spanish football team is remarkable.
    @Mina: Next people will say they never heard of Ruth Buzzi. I'm gonna take a look at the Spanish team again, minus the mannequin vibe. I may have been wrong.
    @Stephen: She was pretty good when she wasn't running her mouth.

  14. Her best moment was on Chico and the Man. She comes up to Jack Albertson and said, "I haf someting to get off my chest!" Albertson turns to the camera w/o missing a beat, and says, "This is a job for Superman!"

    Not only hilarious, but ties the picture of Big Blue at the beginning in as well.

    1. That's why I included it.
      Well...not really.
      I'm going to see if I get it on You Tube.

  15. All that from a comment, huh? Whoa, guess I should put someone interesting in your comments so I can get you to write a nice piece...let's say on...hmm...okay, how about Hugh Laurie? I love him. He's funny and a Brit. What can tell me about Hugh? or maybe Andy Whitfield? Nah, that'd be a downer since he died do young and all. You could do Colin Farrell. He's an Irish bad boy. No? Let's go for an American even though you don't give a flying f*ck where our team uniforms were made. Maybe Savannah Vinsant who likes to play on the trampoline. Do they really give medals for that? Or I know! Holly Mangold, a US women's weightlifter. Go for it, Al! I even dare you to post her picture.

  16. I can't wait to go back and check out yesterday's comments.

    I'll be watching the gymnastics so I'll leave you to the boring stuff...thanks for taking one for the blogging team!

  17. Does Puss wear boots? Your posts spawn so many inane thoughts and questions. That's why we keep coming back.


  18. Don't know who Charo is and I am guessing that is a good thing?

  19. I guess I got confused because I thought her name was Charro, which is a horseman in Mexico. Also, I have never heard her speak Spanish. The lisp would have made it obvious that she is Spanish. I liked it better when she was a horseman.

  20. I remember her from the Love Boat. She was fun and certainly more entertaining than brainless blondes with big boobs that came after

  21. @Nancy: Be careful what you ask for. careful for which you ask? Oh, that just sounds ridiculous. Still...
    @Robyn: If a puss wore boots, that'd be a medical miracle.
    @CYW: You are in great company.
    @Nellie: Look at all who didn't even know who she was, let alone that she was Spanish. Thanks for the inspiration for a post, though. I didn't know that Andalucians had a lisp until I deployed to Rota, Spain many years ago with the Navy. The people there said things like, "Buenoth Diath." Weird. And nothing like my high school Spanish. I was told it originated with a Spanish king having a lisp many years ago. The people wanted to "honor" him by speaking likewise. Probably anecdotal, but that's what I was told. Adioth!
    @Mynx: And many did.
    @Elsie: I'm looking forward to Tibetan trampoline myself.

  22. Remember when Carol Burnett played Charo's mother? Funniest thing ever.

    1. When I was researching for this post (believe it or not, I do research...sometimes), I stumbled onto the You Tube clip. It was pretty funny.

  23. @Adam: Then, you are "Culturally Aware." Cuchi, cuchi!

  24. Fact: on the interior door of my medicine cabinet is pasted a pic of Charro. I love her. She made me smile as a kid and does so now... when I reach for band-aids!

  25. A little "Cuchi! Cuchi!" tends to take some of the sting out of severed limbs, I bet. :-)

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