Sunday, June 3, 2012

"Virginia is For Lovers"?

Apparently, they never gave Pennsylvania a try.

They say the name of this town derives from some sort of horse track.
They lie.
You don't have to draw me a sign.



Pretty much the next town over.
They never speak to those sluts in Intercourse.





If that whole Intercourse thing doesn't work out for you, there's always this.
A synonym for bird...or rooster....
Look, you want me to draw you a picture??






Of course, those not executing the "Bird-In-Hand" option run the real risk of this.....




Elsewhere in the Keystone State, the Paradise of Desire before Panic sets in.
And then? Dad-Walks-With-Shotgun.




Still, when you stop to consider these are all pretty much Amish towns, you have to think twice.
On the other hand, when you consider the fact that there are little Amish....maybe they really don't need electricity, after all.

35 comments:

  1. These are great signs Al. I remember this guy who's pretty famous online for being a bit of an idiot who was from Virginia, he always used to yell out "Virginia is for VIRGINS, not for lovers," that guy was a crackpot though.

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  2. LOL Thanks for the early morning laughs, Al!

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  3. Thanks for some good laughs! Great Post!

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  4. LOL I would avoid blueballs at all cost would surely cause panic.

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  5. When I saw Bird-In-Hand, my first thought was Two-In-Bush...

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  6. We took our kids through Amish country many years ago. Now that they are old enough to see the "meaning" in the signs, perhaps we should take them back...they would laugh all the way home..or we could just leave them...

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  7. "Those sluts in Intercourse". Haha
    Really enjoying your Toilet, er, book on my Kindle app.
    :)

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  8. The closest thing we have around my block is a sign that says "essex square" which gets corny jokes said about it. I guess we don't get too many funny names down south, everything here is usually named after old civil war racists

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  9. Your blog always makes me laugh. I left an award for you over at mine. Stop by and pick it up any time :)

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  10. I work with a girl from Wetwang in East Yorkshire.

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  11. I want to think these signs have been photoshopped and yet I know they're probably real.

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  12. Virginville definitely needs a motto. How about "Don't screw around with us".

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  13. Makes you wonder where on earth they got those names!

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  14. Well here in Michigan we have Climax, Hell and Christmas....not to mention Detroit which is all three for the right price!

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  15. What bloody great signs love them made me smile.......

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  16. Since a lot of towns are named for people that founded it, do you suppose there is a Mr. and Mrs. Intercourse? Hmmmm...

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  17. I lived in Panic for over a decade, but then someone told me to try Xanax.

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  18. And I thought we had some pretty cool names for places.

    Thanks for the smile :)

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  19. These are great signs! I don't know if you know this, but Tamar Myers writes a Pennsylvania Dutch mystery series set in Intercourse, PA.

    Who knew Pennsylvania was so racy??

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  20. We took a field trip to the Amish country...I wonder if the schools in NY still do that anymore?

    Great post, Al - thanks for bringing back some funny memories.

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  21. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh man, thanks for the laugh. I never knew my birth state had such a sense of humor.

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  22. Nice. I live near all this. You missed a few! Kuntzville is my (newly transplanted) husband's favorite... :)

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  23. I'm SO thrilled to be from PA. I mean where else can my grandmother get away with an "I Love Intercourse" sweatshirt and not mean anything sexual by it? Yeah...we're a classy bunch.

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  24. @Matthew: And then he spit a gob of tobacco juice into his spittoon.
    @Dana: There are a lot of laughs in Pennsylvania. Except if you're in Philadelphia. Then, there's lots of bullets.
    @Eva: All courtesy of those notorious cut-ups, the Amish.
    @Pat: I make Mrs. Penwasser take the long way around when we go west. Can't be too careful.
    @CW: Something way dirty came to mind just now. It's best I not speak of it.
    @laughingmom: Hershey Park, barn-raisings. It's all good.
    @Dawn: The names have been changed, but the title chapter is nearly 100% based on my adolescence. Mal Penwasser was insane.
    @Adam: Anything with "sex" in it has to be funny. Especially when it involves me.
    @Dawn Marie: I stopped by and I humbly thank you.
    @Tony: Wetwang. I don't think they mean a Chinaman caught in a downpour. Comedy gold.
    @Gorilla: Or "Home of Ugly Girls or Dorks Who Live With Mom"?
    @Alex: The Amish have an explanation for all of them. Like..."Blue Ball" was named after the "Blue Ball Hotel." I personally think that just means someone rented a room with one of those chicks from Virginville.
    @Bushman: Detroit. Isn't that next to Blight, Michigan?
    @Jo-Anne: I bet if I looked hard enough, I'd find signs like this all over the US. Just look at what Bushman says is in Michigan...
    @Ruth: Yes. They're very happy. And never come out of their room. They actually come inSIDE their room. BA DUM BUM. Thank you, thank you very much. I'm here till Thursday.
    @Nellie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That's pretty good.
    @Mynx: Well, you have some cool names for animals which can kill you. The only name we have for something which can kill you is "Center City, Philadelphia."
    @Juliann: It's the shoo-fly pies, pretzels, and all those damn M. Night Shyamalan movies.
    @Elsie: The only problem with a field trip to the Amish country is it's full of frikkin' fields. Plus, Brother Hezekiah hates being confused with Lincoln.
    @Nancy: Hey, tourists pay thousands to see the Liberty Bell. Which really isn't all it's cracked up to be. And I repeat...BA DUM BUM. I really oughta change my name to "Shecky" Penwasser and tour the Catskills, huh?
    @Alexa: But, it's pronounced "KOONTZville." Just so nobody confuses them with the goings on in Virginville.
    @Jewels: When I was a Boy Scout, my troop took a trip to Lancaster, where I bought an "Intercourse" road sign. Which I hung up over my bed. I should have bought one from Virginville, though.

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  25. Love the signs...I could use the intercoarse one for my front lawn

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    1. Put on a bonnet and an ankle length dress and you're good to go.

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  26. Lancaster county huh? I still can't believe the Amish would.....

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  27. I guess that explains why they always wear the very dark trousers...

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    Replies
    1. They're very slimming.
      And they hide boners.

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  28. I visited Lancaster County as a young girl, and I just remember eagerly awaiting our next stop in Hershey, PA. Maybe my brother got in trouble for laughing at the signs, and I was too busy getting sick on the side of the road to notice! Thanks for enlightening me yet again! Julie

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    1. In 1970, my Boy Scout troop visited that area of Pennsylvania for a week (we stayed at a campground in Conewago and, yes, I am that old). I lived in Connecticut; little did I know I'd eventually live only two hours away. But, that's another story for another day.
      Anyway, we went to Hershey Park, Gettysburg, Amish Country (where 12 year old me thought it would be a hoot to buy an "Intercourse" road sign), and, inexplicably, a frikkin' brick factory.
      Good times, good times.

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  29. I took a trip to Intercourse.... and..... what they dont tell you is it was a retirement community..... The sex was uncomfortable and deeply disappointing!!! Dont go!!

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  30. But, you got to bed before eight and supper was served promptly every afternoon at 4:00. Plus, those nudie playing cards of Betty White? Ooo, la, la!

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  31. I grew up 30 miles from Intercourse, PA and we always called it F*ckville. Gotta love Pennsylvania Dutch Country baby!!!!

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