Thursday, June 14, 2012

Happy Flag Day!

Okay, I'm proud to be an American, despite the fact we have Michael Moore, Joy Behar, and people eating other people's faces.
If nothing else, most of my stuff is here.

 On June 14th, 1777, the Second Continental Congress of the United States (sequel to the First.  Sorta like Rocky II) decided that the budding nation needed a flag (a motion to adopt a secret handshake was shelved pending a Third Continental Congress. Which never happened. Now you know). 


  While Betsy Ross is credited with designing the flag, most historians (and old guys named Chet), dispute this.  However, she IS credited with suggesting that "plaid" not be used.


  Now, since quite a few of you aren't from the United States and, thus, have no idea what all the fuss (hey, Pat, that rhymes!) is all about, I thought I'd pay homage to the flags of some of my followers.  


  Just so you know,  I won't be looking up any information on your national flags.  So, this will more than likely be an indictment of the American educational system.  I'll just be winging it.


The flag of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.  Great Britain consisting of England, Scotland, and Wales.  And Northern Ireland consisting of northern Ireland.  Most of my countrymen just look at this and say, "Hey, it am the English flag.  When's NASCAR on?"
Seriously, though?  If you can forget about that whole revolution thing, we'll just let that burning of the White House go.
The flag of Canada, which had the good fortune of never being successfully invaded by the United States (remember:  Joy Behar).  The maple leaf design has something to do with its provinces (French for 'states'?): Quebec, Ontario, Saskatchewan, Alberta, Manitoba, British Columbia, Prince Edward Island, Prince Phillip in a Can, Yukon, Nunevit, Wayne Gretzky, Newfoundland).  I could be wrong on some of them, though.  I don't think 'Manitoba' is a real province. 
The flag of Australia.  I'm thinking flag designers down under got a little lazy.
 "Hey, what do you say we throw in England's flag, five stars, and one big ass star on a field of...how does 'blue' sound?  Then, we can just go drinking."
The flag of New Zealand.  Hey, I know you lot were a huge improvement over cannibals (far be it from an American to be up on a high horse about cannibals.  Remember:  people eating other people's faces) and they filmed Lord of the Rings there.  But, talk about frikkin' lazy!
"Screw it.  Leave six stars to the Australians.  We'll change the color, though.  Hey, see if Frodo over there wants to buy me a beer."




And, finally.....

The flag of Ukraine (or is that The Ukraine?  Kinda like "Is it Batman or the Batman?").  This thing hurts my frikkin' eyes!  Also, I thought they just had problems getting toilet paper.  Now, it appears that they also have only two colors in their national box of Crayolas.



What's my point, you ask, instead of writing the sequel to the story of Xerxes?  My point is that, while it's Flag Day in the United States, this should be a day to celebrate each of your countries.  Because, while you may have civil unrest (I'm talking to you, Greece), we have New Jersey.  Wait, that didn't come out right.

What I mean is, Happy Flag Day to all of you out there (but, seriously, Ukraine, get a few more colors and see what you can do).

Next:  I finally finish up with Xerxes.  I know it's been taking me a long time, but he's in no hurry.  The little Persian freak has been dead for almost 1,500 years.  Don't think he'll mind.
"Don't worry, Leonidas, Al will get back to us.  Meanwhile, have I ever told you you've got great muscle tone?  And can you give me a hand with these head chains?  It's what I get for dressing in the dark, I guess."

50 comments:

  1. You forgot Nova Scotia, how could you? The cat will never forgive you for such a thing.

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  2. See? Now you know I was just winging it. I was tempted to find my atlas and, thus (there's that damn word 'thus' again) impress the hell out of you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thus the need for a globe that you can spin, then thou will never make that mistake again.

      Delete
  3. Is there a reason why you haven't put up the gay flag? People might think that as a former navy man you were avoiding the subject.

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    Replies
    1. Funny. I never thought of it. But, had I did, I wouldn't have because....
      1. It's not a country (I don't count the Island of Gay Men off the coast of Massachusetts).
      2. While I can poke fun of Ukraine with fair impunity, I'm thinking I couldn't do the same with the gay population. I really wouldn't want to offend anyone, anyway.
      Mostly because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. And mostly mostly because I couldn't care less who (or is that 'whom'?) someone chooses as their dancing partner.
      Gay, schmay, as long as they're decent human beings.

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  4. Happy Flag Day, Al! And Happy My Parents' Anniversary as well! ;)

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    Replies
    1. Happy, happy! Just make sure their Betsy Ross party doesn't get out of hand.

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    2. They're 1,000 miles away, but I've got their neighbors watching out for that. :)

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  5. I'm not huge on patriotism myself really. If I was I'd probably be scathing that you had the British flag but not the English, Scottish, and Welsh ones. I like the Welsh one, it has dragons.

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    Replies
    1. I think I'll go looking for the Welsh flag. I like dragons, too.

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  6. The flags I was cool with...but did you have to go there with Leonidas, Al? Let there nightmares commence!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tight abs have a tendency to do that.

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  7. Happy Flag day! Is the Amercian flag called Old Glory?

    And Wayne Gretzky land is my favourite province in Canada, not counting my home province of British Columbia!

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    Replies
    1. It is.
      Coincidentally, Old Gloria is the crazy cat lady who calls the cops on us when we place our garbage cans too close to the curb.

      Delete
  8. Yay, I finally got to your blog. My computer wouldn't let me earlier. It's been misbehaving today. I didn't know today was Flag Day. Happy Flag Day, and thank you for all the laughs. Love your humor. Have a great Father's Day!

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    Replies
    1. Fathers Day should be fun.
      I'm almost postive they're my kids.
      After all, I have home field advantage.

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  9. What would flag day be without a picture of a redneck wearing a flag bikini???? Now that is classic Americana!!!!

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    Replies
    1. Unless it's a dude, I'd be okay with that.

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  10. I always liked Greece's flag when it came to other country's

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    Replies
    1. Plus, their souvlaki's to die for.
      The rioting?
      Well, it's to die for, too.
      But not in a good way.

      Delete
  11. I like the reference to Pat (isn't he known by everyone in the blogging community, anyway?) and the American educational system. A funny comment, but an often true statement.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pat's a great poet.
      And we all know it.

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  12. Oh crap! When you said Pat, I thought you were referring to me. I was feeling pretty good about myself for a minute. Well, not even a minute, cause it didn't take but about 10 seconds to get to the comments from the post. Oh well...
    Another funny (and informational) post! Thanks...

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    Replies
    1. You should still feel good about yourself.

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  13. I remember Flag Day when I was a kid. It was a much bigger deal back then. Today it passes almost without notice.

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    Replies
    1. I know. It doesn't even get the same attention as Columbus Day.

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  14. Penwasser, you are chock FULL of valuable information. And stuff. ;)

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  15. Dawn's right, Al; you're definitely full of it! You had me roaring several times during this post! Love the way you always can make me laugh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And you haven't even seen my prom pictures.

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  16. I love Canada's flag. It reminds me of pancakes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.................pancakes.............

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  17. Just so you know we have the Union Jack along with the Commonwealth Star and the Southern Cross the Commonwealth Star seven points representing the unity of the six states and the territories of the Commonwealth of Australia. There are many people who want to change our flg I am not not of them men and women have fought and died under this flag and if just shouldn't be changed.........Oh yeah our flag day is the 3rd September.........

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  18. I kinda figured there was a good reason for the stars (I should've known about the Southern Cross-saw it off the coast of Brazil-pretty neat). Seriously, thanks for the lesson! :-)

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  19. I'll be honest, Manitoba is the least interesting province of all of Canada. No distinguishing features what-so-ever.

    Even the province of Wayne Gretzky has more to see and do.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Where's the Mexican flag? I know you have Mexican followers, because, hey, I am right here. Okay, so I wasn't born there, but I've eaten enough jalapenos.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I may need to do a weekly flag post. If I do, I'll feature Mexico's flag.

      Delete
  21. How funny that i was almost going to do what Joanne did and give you a proper lesson about our flag but I was too lazy to look it up and just got myself another drink lol

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    Replies
    1. And who ever said that Blogger wasn't educationaL? I for sure learned something.

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  22. I'm pretty sure it's Prince Edward in a Can.

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  23. Yeah, you're probably right. It's been a long time since I made a prank call.
    By the way, is your refrigerator running?

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    Replies
    1. Prince Albert doesn't even come in a can anymore. It's a pouch. How sad! I have one of my grandpa's old cans though. That man saved everything.
      Yes, you can go catch it.

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    2. Well, you know why Dr. Pepper comes in a bottle, don't you?
      His wife died.

      So, I guess Prince Albert musta remarried.

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    3. I've never heard that Dr. Pepper one before.

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  24. This post was especially funny. I remember a comedian once talking about Canada's flag in comparison to other flags. He said something like, "A leaf? Seriously, a leaf? What does this say about our us? That we'll eventually dry up and blow away?" I thought that was quite hilarious yet still I think our Canadian flag is very unique and it highlights the natural world.

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    Replies
    1. I actually like Canada's flag. Could be worse. Could be Nepal's. That one looks like someone cut it up with a pair of scissors to make a pair of underwear (I know you're gonna look it up).
      Back to your flag for a second...the points of the leaf DO stand for the provinces, though, don't they?

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    2. I think Nepal's flag looks like a character from Pacman.

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    3. I think you're on to something.

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