|Not to be confused with |
The Gray-Life in a Box of Crayolas
But, after buying him lunch, giving him money, going to Dairy Queen, writing him a check, taking a tour of the campus, taking him to dinner (NOTE: It was at the Outback. I love that place! With every Bloomin' Onion, you get a free defibrillator. And a mint. Fantastic), giving him our bank account information, we asked him what he wanted to do.
He hesitantly suggested going to a movie. I was all for this. Because, even though Mrs. Penwasser and our daughter (his sister. I think you already knew that, though, huh?) were with us, I was confident we wouldn't be seeing a "chick flick." After all, this was "our boy's" weekend (despite the fact "our boy" could put me through a wall).
|Yeah, this vampire really sucked|
So, imagine my delight when he said he wanted to see The Grey, a film that looked to be thankfully free of Hugh Grant or sexy vampires. Sadly, it also turned out to be nudity-free, as well.
WARNING: Spoilers ahead. But, seriously, if you haven't seen it already, that's on you.
|For the ladies: |
Liam looked nothing like this in the movie.
Incidentally, hope he's wearing shorts.
If you know what I mean.
The Grey stars Liam Neesom (the picture probably gave that away) as the Irishman, John Ottway (I'm not sure whether Ottway is Irish in the original story. I just think Neeson said, "Screw it. I'm keeping me brogue.").
Anyway, Ottway works in Alaska as "Wolf Security" for an oil drilling team. The area in which he works is a frigid wilderness, choked with blizzards and unwashed people. It looked like a set left over from Star Wars (Note to self: don't ever visit Alaska).
Upon completion of a job, the team is flying home (presumably to warm up and bathe). Wouldn't you know it, a blizzard strikes, forcing the plane to crash into the wilderness (as opposed to the "other" wilderness).
As luck would have it, the (evidently POS) plane lands smack-dab in the middle of a pack of wolves' territory (at this point, they may have thought that hunting these things to the point of extinction may not have been so bad, after all).
|"Sure, this seems like a great idea."|
Inexplicably, Ottway convinces them to leave the (what I thought) relatively safety of the wreckage and strike out into the (you guessed it) wilderness.
Not surprisingly, the wolves get all jiggy with their bad selves. So, disguised as Grandma, they stalk the survivors and pick each one off, to the sound of screams and agony (and snoring by Mrs. Penwasser, who would have preferred we see The Help).
|"The better to eat you with..."|
That's just in case you didn't get
the Little Red Riding Hood allusion.
Through 90 minutes, we await the telltale sound of a helicoter's rotor which would signal rescue. Sadly, this was not in the cards for Ottway and his party of "Wolf Snacks", as the National Park Service was probably on strike. Besides, they would have said, "What, are you crazy? It's a frikkin' wilderness out there!"
To sum up, they all die.
|"Maybe I should have drank |
these things before I broke them...?"
Even Liam Neeson, who despite taping broken mini-whiskey bottles and a knife to his hands, is no match for the alpha wolf. Who had a gun.
Much more than the 'G' entry for the A-Z Challenge (well, okay, it is that), The Grey is an excellent movie despite its shortcomings (remember: no nudity. The wolves were naked, though. Well, that's something). If you get a chance to see it when it comes to television, I'd highly recommend you give it a look. If you do, I wonder if you'll come to the same conclusion I did:
Wouldn't it have made much more sense to stay at the crash-site?
But, if they did, then they probably would have been rescued a lot quicker than two hours.
And Mrs. Penwasser wouldn't have gotten a good nap.
|I had this extra Liam Neeson picture laying around, so I figured I'd use it.|
Liam and that devil-looking dude both die.
Two more reasons why The Phantom Menace sucked.