Monday, April 23, 2012

April 23rd-Brought To You By the Letter 'T'

    The letter 'T' gave me some trouble.  After all, there were a lot of potential possibilities, from Toy Story to Titillating.  Although, come to think of it, a Titillating Toy Story would be kind of intriguing.  After all, there's a character named 'Woody' in it.

   And, Sherilin and Julie wanted me to talk about Tuck-Ins.  At first, I thought they meant Tuck's Cooling Ass-Itch Pads, which made me squirm in my seat.  I was confused about what they meant.  Then, I realized they might have been inspired by that transgender person who was on Dancing With the Stars and who is related to a woman who could very well be be a transvestite.  But, who will remain nameless.  Isn't it funny how I've managed to put him/her/it in your heads, though?  You're welcome.

  Bottom line (no pun intended. Tuck's Pads notwithstanding), I couldn't make up my mind.  So I thought I'd throw a Potpourri (which could very easily have fit into the 'P' category.  Screw it-'P' is already written) at you.

  Don't worry, Tuck-Ins are mentioned.
Tea Leoni
Hey, she may not be Scarlett Johansson,
but she's not Hillary Clinton, either.

Shag Carpet Toilet
Still on Kindle.
Ranked 600,000 out of 1,000,000!
Get yours now-avoid the rush!!
In the Toilet.  Are we that attention-deprived that we need TVs at the urinal??
Trust me, if you gotta pee so much that you can watch a ballgame,
you need to see a doctor.
In the Toilet, Part II.  I hate these frikkin' things! Especially if there's only one. Then, you gotta hurry up and pee before the other dude jumps in front of you (at least he washes his hands, though. Unlike that skeevy guy from the stall.  Ewwww!).  Then, you gotta wait forever to dry your hands. One cycle of these bastards never does it, though. Then, you either have to do it again (which will seriously piss off the guy behind you) or wipe your hands in your armpits to dry them off (which sounds gross-and it is-but it's better than wiping them on your pants which will leave wet spots. Yeah, never thought of that, huh?).  
In the Toilet-Part III. Which is still better than these things-have you seen them?
I'm afraid to use them. I think they just lop your hands off.  No water, no problem.

I'll bet there's some sort of psychological reason behind this. Mrs. Penwasser and I have separate toothpastes. Which is better than separate beds, I guess (you might get an argument from her on that one).   Curious, can you guess which one is mine?

Tito Broz-Dictator of Yugoslavia
Loved mass murder.  And powder blue.

Not to be confused with...

Tito Jackson
Hanging around with young boys.
You'd think he would have learned something from Michael.

Which is not to be confused with...
A Hollywood star who was not above eating garbage and sniffing butts. 
And humping Scarecrow's leg.
He's probably dead now. Or in a Stephen King novel.
Cooling, my ass.  Pun intended.
Yogi Bear Tuck-Ins
I can't be the only one who thinks this is creepy

Sherilin and Julie, is this what you meant?

Incidentally, you never thought you'd ever see a post that had both Tea Leoni and Tito Broz in it, did you?


  1. I didn't know that Yogi Bear had "Tuck-Ins." Wouldn't that have been more appropriate for Boo-Boo? I'm loving Shag Carpet Toilet so far, and look forward to finishing it after A to Z! Thanks again for the dishonorable mention and I'm going to have to meet my partner in crime Sherilin! Julie

  2. Why does Toto look like he just jumped out of the spin cycle? I am not sure if that's THE Toto. I've never watched the movie that made him famous. I can't even remember the name of it, but I know Judy Garland was in it, popping pills and crying into Toto's fur.

  3. Great work with the T section Al, Yogi Bear tuck-ins is a seriously werid concept though I'm not sure that's what Sherry and Julie meant haha! Damn you for mentioning Chaz Bono though, I seriously try to keep it out of my head. "It," sounds really nasty doesn't it? It's sad how I spent a good bit trying to work out how I can avoid calling Chaz it but just couldn't think of any other acceptable substitute.

  4. Ahh the toothpaste on the right would definitely piss me off. Good for you for using separate ones instead of silently resenting each other every day over it.

  5. To acknowledge your creative use of the letter 'T', today's 6th degree challenge does the same. Try Lawrence Tureaud to Kevin Bacon. Who's Lawrence? You make recognize him better from his Hollywood name; Mr. T. I pitty the fool who can't complete this challenge.

    1. I think I've been doing this too long. Not much trouble coming up with this (and, yes, Ron Howard is part of it).
      Mr. T-Sylvester Stallone-Henry Winkler-Ron Howard-Kevin Bacon.
      Mr. T was in 'Rocky III' with Sylvester Stallone who was in 'The Lords of Flatbush' with Henry Winkler who was in 'Happy Days' with Ron Howard who directed Kevin Bacon in 'Apollo 13.'

  6. LOL yes that is creepy. Tv at the urnials hmmm that is just plain sad, I suppose it could block out the noise of the other guy and maybe help shy people go. And yours is the messed up one on the right, right?

  7. Taking pictures of guys at urinals. Classy. As long as you didn't try to slip 'em some Tucks afterward.

  8. i'd like to think that the waddy toothpaste is yours because that's how i keep mine (my husband and i have separate paste as well) but something about your military background makes me suspect you're more of the tightly rolled tube type of guy.
    and for the record, yogi bear wasn't what we had in mind at all. unless he's got a thing for dressing in drag in the forest and dancing while wearing a sparkly swimsuit.

  9. You are seriously disturbed; I think it's what I like about you!

  10. My husband and I also have separate toothpastes. That's why we're still married.

  11. You are selling well! Yes, could be better. But, it's not 999,999 out of 1,000,000.
    I really don't think I could listen to Yogi telling me a story. That's just not good.

    1. By the way, I still haven't got an idea for T and it's halfway through the day. I may be in Trouble.

  12. That big hand dryer thing is weird, never saw one. I imagine a mother placing her baby on it for a diaper change and -oops - there go the hands, all four of them. Not pretty. Oh Al, why do you always send my braincells in such random directions?


  13. @Julie: Introduce yourself. I know you'll like reading Sherilin's stuff.
    @Nellie: This was Toto before Benjie. Funny, you never saw them in the same place.
    @Matthew: Chaz has a habit of doing that.
    @Gia: It was Mrs. Penwasser's idea. We even have separate mouthwashes. And lingerie.
    @Pat: Believe it or not, no. I'm thinking Mrs. Penwasser takes too much delight in wringing the crap out of that tube. Yikes!!!
    @Nate: I wanted to try the Ladies Room, but the mall cops stopped me.
    @Sherilin: You are correct! I've rolled my toothpaste like that since boot camp. Also, my tube of Ben-Gay. Which just sounds dirty.
    @Eva: I do have a therapist.
    @Dana: It's the little things. Mrs. Penwasser also wants to buy a duplex. I told her that I want a door right in the middle in case I have the urge for "maritals." She says "No frikkin' way! You'll have to knock like the other guys." :-P
    @Ruth: How about 'Trouble?' That starts with a 'T' which rhymes with 'P' which stands for 'Pool.' Or so I've heard.
    @Robyn: Even in California? That's amazing. I thought the Golden State was all cutting-edge. I'm telling you, though, that thing really weirds me out.

  14. lmao... funny as hells :) I'm with you, I hate those new hand dryers. What will they come up with next? seesh!

  15. I have never laughed so hard in my life!! I'll be back, often even! by the way I see you have the paper in the photo but do you have paper... because it's not pictures - I guess it is good we know you wash your hands :)

    *~ MAJK ~*
    Twitter @Safireblade
    A to Z Blog Challenge

  16. @Monkey Butt: I know. How am I gonna dry my crotch now? HOW does my crotch get wet, you ask? Well, never mind about that.
    @MAJK: Luckily, it's newsPAPER. Just because I'm done READING it doesn't mean I'm done USING it.

  17. It would've been a crime not to mention Toto.

  18. funny! will be back to read more..........


  19. @Dr. Heckle: And Toto, too.
    @MOV: Hope you do! Underwear poem tomorrow.

  20. Tea and Tito. Hmm. Perhaps back at D you should have featured David Duchovny and Idi Amin DADA. Or Gillian Anderson and George III on the G's. Or... oops, lost the analogy, didn't I?

    1. No, you got it. In any case, I followed it. That means one of us is in trouble. Or both.

  21. I like to squeese toothpaste from the bottom, so me and the Mrs use separate (but equal) toothpastes.