Krypton (Kr) - A chemical element, whose name is derived from the Greek for “Hidden One” (this can also be attributed to “Weird Uncle Clifford”), which was discovered by Sir William Gordon Ramsay (or is that “Sir Gordon William Ramsay”? No matter. He’s dead. Not like he’d care anyway.) before Betty White was born (but don’t quote me). It’s a colorless, odorless, and tasteless noble gas.
NOTE: Just an observation...if anyone farts in my general vicinity, I’d call that tasteless. But, certainly not noble.
It’s used in lighting and photography (who knew?). Its Atomic Number is 36 and it belongs to the....hey, wait. Is anyone else as frikkin’ bored as I am?
That’s what I thought. So...
|"You mean this isn't All-You-Can-Eat? |
|Apparently, not faster than |
a speeding bullet.
But, we’ve got ‘L’ tomorrow and don’t have enough time. Let’s just use another ‘K’ word (God, I hope you’re all still here after that sucky Periodic Table of Elements crap):
Pieces of Krypton after it blew up (hence the catchy name), these deadly chunks pose serious hazards wherever they land. Sorta like Snooki.
Each has its own particular deleterious (hey, I can use synonyms, too) effects when exposed to native Kryptonians. Although, plants and human beings (not necessarily different species. Remember. Snooki.) can suffer adversely, too.
In no certain order (why? I still need to write ‘M,’ that’s why):
Now what am I going
to do with a yellow face?"
Red: This can really eff Superman up, from causing him to grow four arms to dressing up as Sarah Palin. Its effects are temporary. But, he’d never be able to live down that Sarah Palin thing, though.
|Couldn't give a crap less about kryptonite. |
But, ironically, suffers from Arachnophobia.
|Closest you're going to get |
to learning about Bizarro.
Go find your own nerd.
NOTE: I didn’t know this. This is where the Comic-Book Store Nerds came in.
White: Formed when Green Kryptonite passed through a “Space Cloud” (I strongly suspect this happened when the imaginative writers were on vacation). Deadly to plant life, no matter from which planet. Superman uses this to get rid of poison ivy.
Oh, there’s lots more, many more than I would have thought. But, I need to get moving. However, my internet research (the nerds had to get home. Mom was making Salisbury Steak) led me to a form of kryptonite I never knew existed. A form that I was going to make a joke about, but decided not to because it would be a gratuitous cheap shot.
Lo and behold, I didn’t need to. Because, as God as my witness (if He has the time), DC saved me the trouble. I swear the below is true.
|Yeah. No kidding.|
|Lends new meaning to the term "Superman's Pal." |
If you know what I mean.
Seems pretty tasteless to me.
And definitely not noble.
|Okay, so this has very little to do with what you just read. |
But....Great Caesar's Ghost!
|The latest Superman. |
Any guesses why Lois Lane calls him the 'Man of Steel?'