Thursday, March 22, 2012

How May I Help You?

April 8th-Brought To You By the Letter 'H'

How May I Help You?

As I've written in a previous post, I've longed to work for a company which shall remain nameless (both to avoid being sued and to prevent an angry mob from lobbing hurtful insults my way). But, it sells a lot of stuff made in China (including American flags).

Anyway, I have a vest from said un-said superstore that I don't get a whole lot of chances to wear (especially when I go to K-Mart).  However, today I tried it out on the neighbors.

The door was open, so I thought I'd take a peek to see if I could offer any assistance. How was I to know I lived next door to nudists?








As it was time to spruce up the yard, the neighbors threw a rake at me after telling me to get the hell out of their foyer.





After a little raking, I decided to have a look at their truck. Somehow, I didn't think I was looking in the right place for the spare tire.





I TOLD them they should lock their garage.  And to keep the Bug Spray away from the Pudding Pops (come to think of it, why are pudding pops on a shelf in the garage?)





Never underestimate the power of a friendly greeting.  And the strength of locked doors.







I wonder if they meant it when they said they were selling their house.

17 comments:

  1. That was so rude of them, I would have accepted your help.

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  2. Okay this one is good man, I'm getting more and more excited for your contribution in the challenge as time goes on.

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  3. I hope they at least gave you a good tip.

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  4. You were just trying to be helpful. Ingrates!

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  5. LOL you were only trying to help, even if it was the kind of help you may get from someone like Dennis the Menace..haha

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  6. it always pleases me to see you wear your vest. you look so dapper and distinguished. much like the greeters at a certain store i frequent...

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  7. Listen, I have a few things that needs to be repaired in my home. You are always welcome to come and work for a scoop of ice cream. Call me.

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  8. The problem is that it's written on your back. The only way of getting people to read it is to turn your back on them, which they may think is rude. Remember how the Emperor Commodus reacted when Russell Crowe turned his back on him in the amphitheatre?

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  9. @DWei: See? That's why we get along!
    @Matthew: 13 down, 13 to go. This explains why I haven't been on here a lot. I'm working on getting the posts done, so I can relax and read everyone else's. I just hope you don't read next month and think, "Boy, he really sucks this year." I hope not. Especially since, in one of my posts, I accuse the Easter Bunny of sodomy.
    @VinnyC: Yeah. "Get out of my yard or I'll blow your frikkin' head off."
    @Mark: And THAT'S why I peed in their gas tank. Well, that, and I really needed to go.
    @Pat: I know. It's not like I just walked into their garage without an invitation. Oh, wait, it IS like that.
    @Sherilin: AND I wore pants.
    @Nellie: You'll even let me use a scoop? Sweet!
    @GB: Yeah, nothing good. Maximus died. But, not before Commodus. So, it was a "bad news" "good news" kind of thing.

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  10. People just never want help anymore. I asked to cut the grass for this one house but got rejected. Was $200 per yard unreasonable?

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  11. Only at a miniature golf course.

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  12. Letter H? A-Z challenge? Is it April? Oh I see, you are rehearsing. You could use that vest for the letter V.

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  13. Yep, these are all reposts from last year. New stuff starts April 1st (there will only be ONE repost in April-my Easter one).

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  14. Whatever I said last year.
    Good luck with the channel.

    I'm tired. I meant challenge.

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    1. I seem to be more tired this year than last. Nothing has changed to make it so. Not really any writer's block, either. I do have more posts ready to go than last year, but it doesn't seem the same. I know I DO have a problem keeping my posts below 1,000 words. This is important because I don't think many people will want to read awfully long write-ups. This is the main reason I put in a lot of pictures. Hope it works.

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    2. Purely anecdotal, but I have noticed that in general. Many seem to be posting less.
      I don't think that people don't want to read longer posts. Time seems to be an issue this year.

      I'm sure it will work. Might not be able to read them all, but will stop by as often as I can. Good luck.

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  15. I think you're right. As I've been writing... for the first time, I've been aware of their length. Most people (myself included) just want to pop in, have a look at something quick, comment, and then move along. That's why you see multi-part posts at Penwasser Place. Unfortunately, the challlenge doesn't lend itself to this approach. If you stop by next month, you'll notice some very short posts. But, alas, there will be ones which are a little longer than normal (The letter 'E' for example). This will cause me to do dome things differently in May.

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