Tuesday, January 24, 2012

We Don't Even Get a Coffee Break

And these guys get a whole hour for sex?


At least I don't need a book.


Or an hour.


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CAUTION:  Shameless self-promotion ahead.
  Antares Cryptos from the cleverly-named Antares Cryptos blog (see, Nancy?  And you thought you were the only one I teased), what I prefer to call the "Thinking Man's Blog" (as opposed to the "Demented Hobbit Who Posts About Sex Hours" blog), reminded me that I had neglected to provide a link to my e-book, Shag Carpet Toilet
This picture isn't entirely accurate.  There was shag carpet on the floor, too.
Remember what I said about boys living in the house?  Yeah, imagine.
  He found it funny that a link to a digital book wasn't provided in a digital forum.  After I thought about it, I agreed that he had a point (See?  Demented and slow).


  I think the reason I had first neglected to do this was that I had to enter in a looonnnnnnnggggggg string of numbers.  I wasn't too crazy about doing that because, after all, football was on (demented, slow, and lazy).  Still, there's probably an easier way to do this, but I'm unaware what that may be (demented, slow, lazy, and stupid).


  So, if you'd like to have a gander (Al's Fun With Words Fact:  'Gander' can also be a male goose.  Although, I fail to see its relevance here) at my shaggy opus, please feel free.


  Or, if you'd like to actually use your brain, visit Antares Cryptos' place.  You may not get a Sex Hour there, but at least you may learn something.   

41 comments:

  1. Admittedly, I didn't read it thoroughly, but this BOOK IS FABULOUSLY WELL WRITTEN, CAPTIVATING and HILARIOUS. I tried emailing you, but my messages keep bouncing back to me. I'll keep sending away...A gander? Shag toilet? Full hour of sex? I think I need a loooooonnnggg cold shower.
    xoRobyn

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  2. I am almost too scared to read your book! LOL!!!!

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  3. A whole hour of sez for a break, work would surely pick up if all places had that. Sure puts gimmie a break of that kit kat bar to shame.

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  4. Look you got me so wanting that break I can't even spell sex..lol

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  5. Why do you have to enter a whole string of numbers? Cut and paste is my motto.
    I hope you make some $$. I don't have a kindle.

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  6. I hope you sell a ton! And I do, too!

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  7. Wait, you wrote a book, so you're this Ken Lynch fella? I thought you were Al? Either way, definitely adding this to my reading list.

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  8. I did buy your book. It's on my Kindle PC. I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but I will get to it this weekend. I didn't have any trouble finding it on Amazon by inputting the title.

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  9. haha just from what you said that book has got me hooked

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  10. Advice on how to have sex for an hour? I mean that sounds awesome but not as awesome as your book does! I want a Kindle badly.

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  11. Think I shall have to put this on my list of things to do.
    BTW it took me about 4 looks at the first picture to figure out what you were saying. I think it might be time to pack up the laptop and go to bed.
    Bit of luck I will find a naked man there waiting

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  12. My Kindle is waiting patiently for me to get to Thursday night so I can pick it up and continue reading your book. So far, so good!

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  13. Pen sadder!! Which is a word that your iPad puts in when you're trying to type Penwasser, a book!? With like paper pages? Ooh, payday , it will be mine. :)

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  14. I once saw a clear toilet seat with barbed wire running through it. I'd rather go in my pants.

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  15. @Robyn: I just hope it was good for you, too.
    @AverageGirl: Well, there ARE clowns in it.
    @Pat: Well, they'd get to work on the first thing which pops up.
    @Ruth: I tried cutting and pasting. But, that damn Elmer's glue made a mess of my monitor.
    @Eva: Maybe then the two of us can buy Bush's house in Kennebunkport.
    @SubRadar: Ken....Al....Idiot (Mrs. Penwasser's pet name for me)...it's all good.
    @Anne: Why, THANK YOU. I hope you like it. Inside scoop: of all the chapters, the one about shag carpet on the toilet is absolutely true. Yep, that's my pop.
    @Tracer: My childhood has left me scarred.
    @Yeamie: Sex for an hour? Imagine the friction burns! Reminds me of an old joke: "Do you smoke after sex?" "I don't know-I haven't looked."
    @Mynx: The picture IS kinda fuzzy. But, I had to take a quick picture of it with my cell phone before anyone walked back into the office.
    @Bea: I hope you like the rest of it.
    @baygirl32: No worries. I don't plan on stopping here so you can continue to join me on my walks through insanity.
    @Dawn: Pen sadder? I guess that means your Bic is out of ink (sorry-best I could do on short notice!)
    @Bersecules: I need to get back to sleep. And hope she doesn't wake up.
    @Tony: Now that's TOO funny!

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  16. I left a reply to your comment Al. I think your government is pretty glad me da never wrote his memoirs. You'd be surprised as how many of your superiors me da knew personally. Think MI Al, think MI.

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    1. I was just having fun with the concept of it being called the Pacific "Theater"-I've no desire to get into a heavy political discussion. I can do it, but it makes my head hurt. Is MI like "MI-6"? Are you channeling Jar Jar Binks?

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  17. Oh, NOW I get it (duh). "Me da" means "my father." (that's why I thought you were "channeling" Jar Jar Binks. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, consider yourself fortunate!) Please forgive me for being such a Yank! And, based on THAT, I certainly know what you mean by "MI."
    By the way, isn't it great commenting on the same topic on both of our blogs?

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    1. I know Al. We're probably getting epic pageviews out of this. Yes, me da is me dad. He was recruited in Edinburgh in the early 50's. He began working with your government in 1958. I was aware of everything that was taking place in the PI while I lived there. It was so blatant you couldn't miss it. We lived on a protected compound several miles away from the base. I was on the tarmac at Clark when your POW's stepped off those planes. It was incredibly moving. Just before he died, he talked. I'll never look at any government or at history the same way again. He was abroad a great deal, the family didn't usually go with him, but the PI trip was 4 years, so they allowed us to go. I'm sorry I was an arse Al. Cultural differences in humor have gotten me in trouble too. Alot of people don't get the Irish black humor, and I've pissed off more than a few people without knowing it. Again, I was the one in the wrong. I'm sorry.

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  18. Thanks for teasing someone else for a change! And yes, an hour of sex. Not possible when we were young, but now that that man with the horse trailer is roaming about, well, you can see where I'm going.

    For your link, can;t you copy and paste then change it? That's what I do. Good luck, Al, I hope you sell millions and millions!!

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  19. I think I got it up (hee hee hee...the book's link) on my blog. Is that right? I only tease my favorite people! :-)

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  20. And I did buy your book Al. I really did and I'll read it too. This is my last comment now!

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    1. I LOVE these pageviews!!! It sounds like you've lived quite a life. We could have quite a conversation over a beer (or two. Or three. Or, infinity)!

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  21. Honestly your toilet looks like it has been bedazzled.

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  22. Thinking man's blog?

    Uuumm...thank you, I'm flattered.

    Temporary cat blog.

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  23. At least you were allowed to use your Shag Carpet Toilet. We had a powder room that we could only look at. I'm very excited about your book Kal! Julie

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  24. Nothing wrong with shameless self promoting!

    And all this time I thought your name was Al.

    You look like an Al.

    Definitely not a Pollyanna. You don't have the hips.

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  25. At least being of the shag variety, the bathroom carpet should have better urine spray-absorbing quality.

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  26. Congrats on at least having a book regardless of what form it's in. :P

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  27. @DWei: So I could have kept it on cocktail napkins? Oh, crap.
    @Beer: Oh, it absorbed urine, it absorbed. Place ended up smelling like the monkey house. And not in a good way. Come to think of it, is there ever a GOOD way a monkey house can smell?
    @ryoko: You can call me Al (isn't that a Paul Simon song?)
    @Empty: That was my grandmother's house! She also had a "sitting" room in which we weren't allowed to sit.
    @AC: I'm telling you, your blog always gives me pause to ponder (even the one about your Maine Coon Cat-that one also made me wistful, sad, and nostalgic).
    @Bragondorn: For some crazy reason, I couldn't find a picture of a toilet which had been completely covered in shag. So, I had to make due.

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  28. I love learning, hours of sex are only good when being broken apart by sessions of figuring out new things.

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  29. Ahh, yes, it was good for me, babe. Really good.

    Grrrr, I can't email you. If you have a different email, please email me from that account. I keep getting a msg to the effect of hotmail and aol not being compatible. One's hot the other's annoying, I guess. Sorry and thanks.
    xoRobyn

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    1. Coming your way. Sorry it took so long to get this to you. I just got back from work and needed a shower. It was a great hour-they let me borrow the book.

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  30. Congrats on the book, AL-Ken - That could be Superman's real father! Anyway I've been absent and am trying to catch up with blogs - but I am glad to see that you have finally produced something that you are proud enough of to use your actual name. All of this alias stuff just reeked of Mafia involvement - you Yank!

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  31. It's kinda how I roll. But, you've caused me to think that I need to repost the story of Al Penwasser. Not only will it answer questions about his origins, a repost means I won't have to write anything new.
    Al-Ken (I like that)

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  32. I will be following that link! Thanks!

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  33. You can find anything on the internet.

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