While trying to come up with an idea today, I read my last post, Cars, inspired by Dawn at Lighten Up!
|Making the Amish look like |
the Rolling Stones
|Sure, it had Chevy Chase. |
But, Jackie Mason? Really??
So, I decided to reward you with particulars you so richly deserve-and give me some more mileage from an idea I’ve already covered (hey, it worked for Caddyshack II. Oh, wait a minute. No, it didn’t).
After all, you took the trouble of visiting.
|Maybe you can buff that out?|
OK, this isn't my car. But, it is upside down.
And in a ditch.
What you didn’t know: I was with two other guys from my ship. I didn’t tell you this because it sounded kinda gay. Which is wasn’t. Just pitiful and sad.
Bonus quote: “Just a couple, officer.”
What you know: Mrs. Penwasser #1 got it in the divorce. And it blew up (the car, not the divorce).
What you didn’t know: Didn’t get laid in this car, either.
What you know: Had a bad headlight. And it had a standard transmission which I didn’t know how to drive.
What you didn’t know (but, maybe you did): I got this in the divorce. Which is kinda ironic. Sold it for $1,000 because I thought I was going to get a new car.
Bonus quote: “A new car? Are you frikkin’ nuts?”
What you know: Blonde hair, big boobs. Sold the car in Maine. Kept the boobs. Mine and hers.
What you didn’t know: Can’t say because I’m still married to her.
What you didn’t know: It got hit by a snowplow while parked in front of my sister’s house. Which was funny, because it was August.
|Like the French French. |
Only without the culture, pastries,
and the German Army.
What you didn’t know: Who cares? Although we took it to Quebec. Saw a lot of French people there. Traded it in for...
1992 Mazda MPV
What you know: The beginning of my “Mini-Van” stage.
What you didn’t know: The beginning of my “Testicles in a Jar” stage (remember: Mini-Van). Traded it in a few years later for another Mini-Van.
What you know: It was an SUV.
What you didn’t know: Wow, now that I think about it, there really isn’t all that much interesting to say about it.
What you know: Still another van.
What you didn’t know: Testicles remained in the jar. We donated it to the Purple Heart for some beads, blankets, and whiskey.
What you know: we still own them
What you don’t know: The Subaru is haunted by Japanese ghosts.
2000 Cavalier/2003 Sentra
What you know: Even though they're the kids’ cars, we still own them, too (the cars not the kids. Golly, does that joke ever get old?).
What you don’t know: They’re my kids’ cars. I don’t think I even want to know.
Well, there you have it, two posts for the price of one. Don’t worry, though, I didn’t strain myself writing this. After all, I want to keep myself fresh for the upcoming week.
When I’ll treat you to my three-part Thanksgiving extravaganza!!
Which, come to think of it, is a repost.
Oh, well, it’s probably better than another “Today’s Vocabulary.”
Or a “Tying My Shoe” picture.
Maybe next time.