|I Write, Therefore I Don't Have To Take Out the Garbage|
I love it when topics just pop into my head.
When asked from what source I derive my ideas (please note my skillful use of proper English grammar. The nuns at Saint Stanislaus, who taught me to write gooder than most Protestants, would be so proud), I reply, “Most of the time, I just get them from life. For instance, how do you know I’m not coming up with a story right now?”
Mom usually leaves me alone at that point.
So it was when I read a post from Jenny of the Pearson Report.
Jenny was responding to ten questions she found on Micael Chadwick’s blog (yes, that’s not a typo-I checked) which is entitled Micael Chadwick. (hey, no sense coming up with something hysterically clever. Like Penwasser Place).
By the way (NOTE: Unsolicited “blog pimping” ahead), Jenny, besides having the good fortune of living hours away from New Jersey, writes a smashing (NOTE: British for “bloody good”) blog. Her wry comments on life are always entertaining and she gives good comments (not as dirty as it sounds). Plus, her blog has pictures of mermaids. You could do a lot worse than read the Pearson Report.
Like visit Penwasser Place.
I don’t know if you’re like me (no, I don’t mean you’re a little gray-haired dude given to sitting on curbside toilets). Whenever I see a link to someone else’s blog, I usually click on it to see if it looks interesting. If it does, I’ll read it and will even leave a comment to show that I’ve been there. It’s easy to do and you may find someone who shares your views on life.
|What do you mean, |
it's not that kind of cereal?
Or you may find a serial killer. So, beware.
What I’m saying is, visit Jenny and Micael. And let ‘em know Al sent you. At least they’ll know who to blame. Go ahead, I’ll wait...........
Everyone back? Great!
Anyway.....although Jenny didn’t ask anyone specific to provide any answers, I took it upon myself to do so. That way, I can save my posts on bathroom fixtures, hemorrhoid surgery, and Zachary Taylor for another day.
|Marcel Proust |
Noted Dead French Guy
Like I said, Jenny was inspired by Micael. Micael’s motivation came from Inside the Actor’s Studio with James Lipton. James gives credit for these questions to French talk show host, Bernard Pivot. Pivot got his idea from a list originally developed by Marcel Proust way back in the 19th century. I think. Well, a long time ago, anyway. Proust admitted (since he’s dead, I have to take Bernard’s word for it) that the original author is unknown.
Confused? Let’s just put it this way: it’s a French thing.
The idea is to record your responses to these questions and come check a year later to see if anything has changed. This sounds fantastic. I can only imagine what my answers would have been when I was a teenager. Most of them probably would have involved getting into some girl’s knickers, though.
So, without further adieu (there’s that French thing again), here are my responses (NOTE: Ego Trip ahead) because that’s what you were all waiting for anyway.
1. What is your favorite word? ‘Hobo’, although I don’t know why. But, I do have a nice collection of cans and I like to ride freight trains.
|They may not have had iPods, |
but they sure could carry some fruit.
2. What is your least favorite word? Priapism. Because sometimes a lot of a good thing isn’t necessarily...a good thing.
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
I just can’t get past “spiritually.” Does that mean I’m supposed to have a boner in church?
4. What turns you off? Naked pictures of Chaz Bono.
5. What is your favorite curse word? “Frikkin’.” You’re damn right.
6. What sound or noise do you love? The peaceful, contented sighs of a physically satisfied woman.
7. What sound or noise do you hate? I hate that I never hear that.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? 2nd baseman for the Yankees. Failing that, I’d like to be Joan Rivers’ plastic surgeon. I’d never be out of work.
9. What profession would you not like to do? It’s a tie between Al Qaeda Vest Tester and Michael Moore’s personal trainer.
|Seriously, I only have one |
bowl of lard for breakfast
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “What took you so long?”
I compared my answers to Jenny’s and Micael’s. Unfortunately, mine come up a little wanting, as their responses sound so much more educated than mine. Still, mine do have a certain sophistication to them, with the possible exception of ‘boner.’ And ‘priapism.’
But, hey, at least I didn’t say anything about knickers.