Friday, October 14, 2011

I Just Wanna Know

    How is it that, every time I get a prescription refilled, I end up with a finger up my butt?





  Last time I go to that dentist.

35 comments:

  1. LOL. I have a dentist appointment next week. It's a good think I'm not a man. I'm still trying to figure out the whole finger up the butt thing...heck, what's the purpose of a colonoscopy...yup, let's pay for an anal probe. :)

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  2. If you stop talking out of your arse then the problem may cease to continue?!

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  3. Lmao! I have no idea how this happens to you. Can't say I've ever experienced this sort of thing before fortunately!

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  4. You are too funny...but Stupidstu may have a point!

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  5. maybe if you'd stop talking out of your ass he wouldn't feel compelled to shut you up.

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  6. If you stop pretending you're a virgin the doctor might leave your butt alone.

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  7. Yeah I think you gotta switch dentists, Al. Seems like he's just taking advantage of your dementia :P

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  8. You're the butt of your own jokes!

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  9. Show me on the doll where the tooth man touched you....

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  10. @Laila: You're the first woman who's ever not said, "Oh, don't be such a big baby. I get those things all the time!" Colonoscopies....yes! I mean, after all, they're in the neighborhood. They may as well take a peek to check that my P-gland hasn't swollen to the size of a grapefruit. Anal probes are for alien visits.
    @Stupidstu: He could've asked nice. I wouldn't have told anybody. He didn't have to violate me.
    @Yeamie: You're still young. Trust me....the finger is coming for you. And, on that day, you'll wonder why you ever thought having your blood drawn was the most uncomfortable thing about medicine.
    @Eva: I got the point. And I felt so cheap.
    @Tony: And THAT'S why I'm never going to prison.
    @Sherilin: I will say this. I sure shut up. The only sounds coming from me were gasps.
    @Gorilla: And here I thought that that "Exit Only" tattoo was sufficient.
    @Kid Shuffle: Worst thing was....he told me I needed butt floss.
    @Kara: My discomfort=your feeling better about yourselves. Wait till I write about my hemorrhoid surgery one day.
    @Sub-Radar-Mike: He gave me candy. And a box of tissues.

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  11. You could always do a Peter Griffin and claim you were raped....

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  12. Giddedy giddedy.....I felt so....dirty.

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  13. Which is actually kinda sad that I know that.

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  14. Okay, where in God's name do you come up with this stuff? I should have dropped by earlier this week. I could have used a good laugh.

    Anyway, thanks for coming by and commenting earlier. That was a 122-word sentence you left there. I had to stop and go back and remind myself of the point! But as always, you are too funny, my friend. Keep it up! Being funny, that is!

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  15. So.....it was a run-on sentence? Damn that "Grammar For Dummies"! I thought it was a bad idea to buy books from that nice gentleman in the back of the van.

    I get most of my material from Life. Breakfast cereal, family fun board game, defunct photo magazine, you name it. Life is everywhere.

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  16. Yikes - I hope this experience did not involve anything major, like a root canal or bridge work...it might be okay for a quick checkup and flossing, but any more than that...hey, I say, you gotta come in the front door.

    You are a brave man Al...I'd want you in my lifeboat if my ship was going down...you can still row, right? (Note to self...maybe he's not that good at anything that requires sitting...must check this out more thoroughly)

    So, as I was saying, I'll get back to you about that row boat stuff, in the meantime, were those latex, vinyl or nitrile gloves...just wonderin'.

    Cheers, Jenny
    (PS...do you need the name of a "real" dentist, eh?)
    PEARSON REPORT

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  17. Is this where the term "talking out of your ass" was coined? The dentist forgot which end was which? You're too friggen' funny!

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  18. Next time you get a tooth ache, just go to the proctologist! followed!

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  19. Damn dentists. Always sticking their tools in uncomfortable places. Doh!

    :)

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  20. Awww sweety, do you need a special cushion to sit on?

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  21. Cavity or cavities? The real question is how did your smile turn out!

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  22. @Jenny: I'm not sure how much good I'd be in an accident at sea. I have a small dinghy.
    @Barb: I may not be able to talk out of my ass, but I can sure play a tune. All the same note, though.
    @Makkara970: That sounds like a great idea.
    @Anthony: Especially the drills. But, as far as that novocaine, I couldn't even tell if I still had my pants on.
    @Bones: That's EXACTLY the sound I made when he told me to "relax."
    @Mynx: I feel so cheap. Thank God for my plastic donut.
    @Bushman: No cavities up there, but he did find some cool cave paintings. And Jimmy Hoffa.

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  23. Thanks. I got my Sat. morning Al fix. And about that butt floss....... :)

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  24. It keeps me clean as a whistle. Plus, its flavor gives me a pleasant minty aroma. Although, for some reason, I can't get anyone to verify this.

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  25. So sorry, Al. Is it the middle finger too?
    xoRobyn
    PS Glad you met Anthony and joined his following.

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  26. I hope he didn't have pudgy fingers. I've heard that makes it worse.

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  27. @Robyn: Felt like his whole fist.
    @Ruth: With knobby-ass knuckles.

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