Friday, September 30, 2011

We're Experiencing Technical Difficulties

  Attention, ladies and gentlemen and all the ships at sea.....

Except I was wearing jammies
  Little did I know that, in addition to blowing shofars, Rosh Hashanah was also a day devoted to one's computer giving yours truly the old cyber-middle finger.  And here I thought it was a day meant solely for lounging about, giving Mrs. Penwasser a call at work to find out how her day was going, drinking coffee, watching bad TV, and writing on Facebook.
  Well, after reading most of your blogs, I decided to make myself lunch and take a break from arduous sloth.  As I returned to my computer,  I noticed something which looked funny.
   After moving my "paint-by-numbers" picture of a clown from in front of the monitor, I saw that it had gone completely dark.
    With the exception of a madly spinning multi-colored ball in the center of the screen.
    Knowing that wasn't any good, I did what any experienced technician would do.
    I turned the computer off, turned it back on, jiggled the power cord, felt if it was hot, smelled the back (of the computer, not the dog) of it, turned it off, turned it on, pressed that button that I didn't know the purpose of,  unplugged the keyboard, unplugged the coffeepot (unrelated-I just forgot to do it that morning), searched for the computer manual, played the handheld Yahtzee game I found while searching for the computer manual, shook the monitor to see if the ball would "go away", sobbed, and got out the yellow pages to find a computer repair person.
   The end result is that I turned over the family computer to the Geek Squad in the hopes they will be able to repair the dang thing before Christmas.
    I just know how this is gonna go:
    "Mr. Penwsser?"
    "Hi, this is Sheldon, from 'Cyber-Pirates.'  We've done a diagnosis of your machine."
    "Great.  How we lookin'?"
    "It's broke.  That'll be $99."
     In other words, I'm pretty much effed if I ever want to see the thing again.
     Surprisingly, Mrs. Penwasser decided it was time that we had a back-up computer, so off we went to Best Buy.  Where we bought a Toshiba laptop computer, most of whose keys I can't figure out.  Still, it seems to be working pretty well. 
     Gotta tell you.  Those Japanese may have a lot of problems with dinosaurs, but they sure do know how to make fantastic cars, computers, and sex robots.
     Still, it's not our (what we thought) reliable desktop Apple.  This means posts from me may be tough getting out.  I'll do the best I can to read your posts and even send along some of my own.  But, they probably won't be of the same qualty you've grown used to (NOTE:  Yes, I know I misspelled "qualitee").  In other words, they may be good.
     Posting links and pictures may be tough, though, until I figure out all the buttons.  But, I'll try.  Like this.....

I don't care, he's still good for a laugh!
    So, I'll do the best I can until I need to take out a loan to get my computer away from the likes of Sheldon.     Okay, I better take off for now. 
     I just pressed a button and the microwave turned on.


  1. Technical difficulties are horrible if you run a website or make videos, something always happens to me when I'm at the most important time of the month - I forget to properly clean the registry and defrag all of my drives. Which means a crawling computer and more overheating. Not ideal when you need to get out a fully animated 8 minute video until the mid of october.

  2. I know how much that sucks. I'm faced with my own brand of technology withdrawal myself.

  3. I'm fairly ok with technology, have been a few times I've managed to sort out a broken comp for mates. Not quite sure how though.

    What I want is a button I can press that produces a coffee.
    And no smartass remarks needed about getting a coffee machine, I know one of them would do it. But I'd have to get off the sofa for that.

  4. A multi-coloured ball? I think someone must have given your computer LSD. If Dr Timothy Leary were still alive he'd be smiling.

  5. My computer got hacked a few weeks back. It was horrid. Fortunately my go to guy is a computer repair expert. He's saved my butt many times for me. Technical I am not. I'm from Jersey remember?

  6. I'm looking for a computer that will clean my house whilst I blog. Have you seen any of those?

  7. When it comes to computer problems we have a go to guy in the family and he is very affordable we call him yeah my dad is pretty good at figuring out what the problem is but then my dad can fix anything he is awsome........

  8. I don't need to deal with technical difficulties often but I know if they do come I'm ill equipped and learned to react well to them. I dream those days! Good luck man.

  9. Ask them to install a "fix it" button.
    You're welcome.

  10. I love my toshiba laptop. You will survive.
    (oh and I had a multicoloured ball as a screen saver once....but i am guessing that isnt your problem)

  11. @neatfit: Thank goodness I only run this hideous little operation. The world WILL survive.
    @Vinny: I guess I'll just have to settle for 'Girls Gone Wild' infomercials.
    @dirtycowgirl: With only a nudge in my back, Mrs. Penwasser can get me to make her a cup of coffee. At least she's good to go.
    @Gorilla: It was groovy, man.
    @Barb: Me no fix magic box gooder than most. Me miss internet all day.
    @Eva: I found one. But, it didn't do toilets.
    @Jo-Anne: Lucky you. Unfortunately, my kids won't be able to make the same claim. The only thing I was able to fix was myself ("Bring a friend and get two vasectomies for the price of one! Limited time only!").
    @Yeamie: Now my truck's "Check Engine" light is on! I fixed that, though. Placed a piece of black electrical tape over it and I'm good to go.
    @AC: Good thing my dog can't read that. If he did, he'd say, "Done!" Good thing he can't talk, either. That'd be weird. But I'd probably make a lot of money.
    @Mynx: My other laptop is a Toshiba. It's several years old and is still going strong (unlike me). I think I got most of the buttons on this one figured out. Like this one....let's see what happens if I push it. There......ohhhhh.....ahhhh......whoops. Better go clean up. Gonna have to remember that one.

  12. @Eva: By the way, I loved that you managed to sneak the word 'whilst' into a comment. I always thought you were a classy dame. And who said people from Maine don't speak gooder than most, ayuh?

  13. Sorry. Hope it gets resolved before Yom Kippur. But don't - I repeat, DO NOT - touch it (the computer, that is) that day.

  14. Whew! The computer I can leave alone.

  15. Your troubleshooting sequence is remarkably similar to mine except I usually have a "I CAN'T EFFIN BELIEVE THIS!" thrown in there somewhere.

    I hope you are "back up" soon.

  16. Our doorbell turns the coffee pot. For realz.

  17. @Core: Thankfully, I am able to operate, although at reduced capacity. The little computer I have does the job, but it's dreadfully slow and doesn't offer the same fantastic writing that my other computer does (yes, I am a carpenter who blames his tools). In fact, I have just finished a post inspired by life According to Jewels (Teaser: It's on delayed post and won't publish until Monday). Gotta get it all finished before the first pitch.
    @dbs: My doorbell scares the dog. Who pees on the rug. I'd rather have coffee.

  18. Laptops are for young people with little fingers. I prefer the giant version of yesteryear complete with a dot matrix printer.

  19. All in all, that sounds like a very eventful Rosh Hashanah. Good luck with all the keys. I'm sure you'll get it in no time.